Page 72 of Memories with Fire

“Stop,” she whispers, a tear slipping down her cheek.

“—I got off the plane and made my dad stop on the way home. Even though you had the necklace, I regretted not buying a ring while I was still in Santa Rosé so I could give it to you before I left. The way you looked at me at the airport sat with me the whole way home, and I knew?—”

She puts a hand up, taking a step closer to me, agony twisting her pretty features. “Stop. Please. I can’t.”

“Hailey—” I plead, taking a step to close more of the distance. I freeze when she puts both hands up, as if it’ll create a forcefield that will physically stop me from coming closer.

“I can’t take anymore right now,” she says, and the way it comes out sounds as broken as I feel inside. “My head and my heart are so screwed up, Luke. I need to sort myself out, and I can’t do that around you.”

My legs give out from under me, and my knees hit the concrete. My hands are in front of me, begging her. “Please don’t do this.”

She stifles a sob with a hand over her mouth, her other at her heart. One more step towards me, and then she stops, her chest rising with a deep breath she sucks in as tears roll down her cheeks.

Her hand slides down her face, joining her other at her chest. Then I realize she’s actually grasping the necklace still draped around her neck. “You’ve always been so good at knowing exactly what I need. This time I’m telling you.”

A lump larger than my throat has wedged itself in there, making it impossible for me to say a word. Maybe this is what she needs, but it’s the last thing I want. What about what I need? Because I need her. I need her like I need air to survive. I need her because without her I only go through the motions of living. I need her because I don’t feel complete without her.

I’m not the best version of myself without her. Without her flame, my fire goes out.

Hailey slowly closes the distance between us, stopping when she’s close enough she can reach one hand out to cover mine still balled up together in front of me. The warmth of her hands seeps into my suddenly cold ones, spreading up my arms and into my heart like it’s a little seed of hope.

“Sometimes you truly can’t go backwards. No matter how much you wish you could, you can’t.” The saddest smile I’ve ever seen tugs at the corner of her lips as another tear rolls down each of her freckle covered cheeks. “Let me go.”

As her hand slips from mine, my eyes close, unable to watch her walk away with every piece of my shattered heart.

CHAPTER 23

LUKE

Tortured jackass doesn’t beginto describe me. It’s my second shift since Hailey walked away with my heart, and I’ve never felt emptier inside. If I thought it was bad the first time she supposedly walked away, I couldn’t be more wrong. At least back then there was pain. There was confusion. There were emotions.

All I have now is a black hole of nothingness in my chest.

The rest of that first day, after Hailey left me in my front yard, I spent at 10-42, drowning my sorrows. Liam and Brody came by, probably after a call from Nate or maybe his fiancée, Savanna, and were kind enough to commiserate with me. They were both tossing the beers back as fast as I was. At first, I didn’t want them there, but it turned out to be nice having the company. I’m not sure any of us said a whole lot, but knowing I had a couple of guys to drink with seemed to help.

It was a far cry from salty brews.

The next day was the hangover from the devil himself, and I spent most of the day wishing I could take back the last two rounds of shots. Then again, maybe it was for the best. I was so dang sick, my brain and heart couldn’t spend much time thinking about Hailey.

If you can call her invading my thoughts every ten minutes not a lot, anyway.

It’s been more of the same since then, with a bit less drinking involved, and a lot more Hailey in my head. She isn’t back to work yet, something I think is a blessing, considering I have no idea how I’m going to handle it when she is. I feel destroyed without seeing her, I’m not sure how it’s going to feel walking around the station knowing she’s here.Honestly, I’ve contemplated requesting a new house.

“Hey,” Quinn’s voice drifts my way from the door.

I hardly spare her a glance, grunting my greeting to her instead, hoping she’ll leave me alone. After nearly losing my patience a few times today, I decided it was best to hole myself up in the sleeping quarters of the station. It’s better if I’m not wandering the house in this mood.

With my eyes glued to my phone screen, I don’t see her coming closer, but I can feel her. No luck on keeping her at bay then.

“How’s it going?” she asks, far too chipper for my current mood.

I give her a noncommittal sound while playing a riveting game of solitaire. “Fine.”

“Check out my nipple rings.”

My head jerks up, my eyes widening as they come to rest on her at the end of the bed I’m sitting on. Her shirt is still tucked safely into her pants, but she’s looking at me with a pleased smirk. Two cups of coffee are in her hands.

“Just checking to see if there’s still a red-blooded male in there along with the somber, pity-partying barbarian that’s been hanging around,” she explains with a pleasant smile. Taking the couple of steps that separates us, she holds a coffee out to me. It’s from the shop down the road, so someone must have made a coffee run. “I thought you could use this.”

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