Page 63 of Memories with Fire

I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t be a paramedic. Logically, I understand what he’s saying. I know I can’t be a hazard on scene. But telling that to the gnawing sensation in my chest and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, is a different story.

As he starts the truck up and begins to pull away, I get a glimpse of Luke. He’s helping wheel a patient towards the ambulance. As if there’s an invisible connection between us, he suddenly looks directly at me. The look of concern that flashes across his face has me simultaneously melting and aching for him. I don’t want him to worry, but in this moment all I want is for him to wrap his arms around me and tell me it’s going to be okay.

Lifting a hand in a wave, I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile before Captain Bernard turns the truck, and Luke is gone from my sight.

The ride back to the station is short and silent. Probably because I’m lost in my own thoughts of what this means for me, and what might happen if I can’t pull it together. Besides being a doctor, I’ve never seen myself doing anything else. Medicine is where I’ve always wanted to be. Then again, the last time I was in an accident was when I changed my life path. Maybe I’m supposed to do something else. Maybe I’m not meant to be a paramedic anymore.

The thought makes my heart hurt.

Captain Bernard pulls up at the front of the building, instead of the side door where employees park. This isn’t unusual for him since his office is up front, but it means I’ll have to go through reception to get to the living quarters and locker rooms. I figure I’ll get changed into my street clothes and then curl up in the rec area until everyone is back, or I need to go to my appointment.

As if he can read my mind, he says to me, while we walk through the doors, “Appointment is at eleven, Hailey. Let me know if you need a ride.”

I nod at him. “I will.”

If Luke is back by then, I’ll ask to use his Jeep for the day. I know he won’t have a problem with it as long as I’m back to pick him up tomorrow morning.

Letting out a deep sigh, I scrub a hand over my cheek which is hot to the touch. This isn’t something I was prepared to deal with. There's already a lot going on in my life that I haven’t dealt with, I don’t need to add more to it. Unless this is life’s way of saying I can’t ignore things forever.

I’m caught up in my thoughts when a lady calls out, “Excuse me, miss?”

I slow my stride and look around. The front of the building is reserved for a few offices, reception, and a waiting area. There’s a row of chairs along one wall which is opposite a counter. The walkway between the two leads you to the back living quarters and engine bays, which is where I was headed. Until this woman grabbed my attention.

“Yes?” I plaster a smile onto my face that I don’t feel, nor do I really want to give. Working with the public, however, I learned to master faking it a long time ago.

Her hair draws my gaze. It’s raven colored, beautiful and thick, but it’s the length that astounds me. If she were standing, it would be past her butt, I’m sure. She smiles at me, deep red lipstick pulling across lips that look too big for her face. If not for those, I think she’d be drop dead gorgeous.

“Are you a firefighter?” she asks. I’d guess her to be right around my age.

I shake my head. “No, I’m sorry. I’m a paramedic. Do you need one? I can go grab Captain Bernard. He may be able to help you.”

“Oh.” A disappointed air envelops the woman who sighs heavily before the smile returns to her lips. She seems like the type to be perky in all situations, so the frown was odd. Or it could just be the lips. “No, thank you. I thought maybe if you were a firefighter that meant they were back. I’m waiting for someone.”

I have to force myself not to roll my eyes at this woman. I would bet almost anything this is someone Liam took home. It wouldn’t be the first time, and it won’t be the last. The guy uses his firefighter status to get women in his bed all the time. This is probably some conquest of his who has tracked him down, thinking she can change him. Or maybe she’s just looking for another round with him.

“Let me guess,” I say, lifting my hand to about Liam’s height, “This tall, brown hair, brown eyes?”

The woman cocks her head, perplexed. There’s a line that appears between her eyebrows as she gives me the odd frown again. “No. Taller than that. Blond hair. Blue eyes that look kind of green. His name is Luke.”

My first reaction is surprise. The second is dread as my stomach churns in the worst way.

“Oh. Sorry, I thought…” I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively at my Liam assumption. “How do you know Luke?”

The woman lights up with a happiness that radiates from the crown of her head to the tips of her toes. “I’m his fiancée,” she says in a bright voice, waving her left hand for me to see the ring on her finger. My jaw doesn’t even have time to drop before she’s on her feet, thrusting her stomach towards me. Now I realize why I noticed her hair. It was camouflaging a very pregnant bump. “And he’s my baby daddy.”

CHAPTER 20

HAILEY

I stumblebackwards like I’ve been punched in the face, except the punch is straight to the gut. All the air leaves my lungs, making me wonder if I’ll ever be able to breathe again.

Luke is engaged. With a baby on the way.

With my breakfast threatening to come back up, I know I need to get out of here. The woman stares at me, rather expectantly, and I try to give her a smile. I’m positive it comes out more like a grimace.

“Congratulations,” I mumble. “Excuse me.”

Turning to the doorway that leads me to the back, I hastily stumble in that direction, my mind spinning with this new information.