Page 34 of Memories with Fire

Her breath comes out as a puff and causes goosebumps to crawl up my neck. “What?”

Forcing myself not to focus on the way she feels against me, I say it again, “Tell me what you feel in this moment.”

“Besides scared? Anger at myself that I gave in to this stupid rope course and didn’t just stay on the fucking ground where I knew I’d be safe,” she hisses, full of ire. I can work with that. Anger is easier than fear.

“No, Freckles,” I use her nickname—the one I’m not supposed to be using. “Physically. Name three things that you can feel right now. What does the harness feel like?”

At my neck, I can feel her mouth open to answer, then close. There’s a pause, an intake of breath, and then she answers, “The strap is cutting into my thighs. And the back of my legs where it goes up to my waist.”

“Mmm, good,” I nod encouragingly. “What else do you feel?”

A shuddering breath rumbles through me that originated in her chest. Slowly, her head lifts from my shoulder and her legs flex between mine. Our eyes meet, and I’m suddenly aware of how close she is. How I can see the little brown flecks within her deep green eyes. The smattering of freckles along her cheeks and over her nose, despite it not even being spring yet. Give it another month or so and I know they’ll be more prominent than they are now.

Questions swim in her eyes, and I wonder if they’re the same questions that are in mine. What happened? Why didn’t you pick up the phone? Why wouldn’t you talk to me? What did I do to chase you away?

“Blue,” she murmurs, more to herself than to me, and there’s a little quirk of her mouth on one side.

The look she gives me is familiar, but it takes me a moment to recognize it, and when it dawns on me, I can’t help but smile. Every day Hailey used to look at me like that, deciding what color my eyes actually were, and then she would give a little happy, dreamy smile and sigh contently, as if all the problems of the world had been solved. While I don’t get the latter half now, with the full smile and sigh, seeing her make the decision on what color my eyes are has hope blooming in my chest that she won’t hate me by the end of the day.

“How’s your heart?” I question, my fingers itching to tuck an errant piece of hair back into her helmet.

Blinking a couple of times, like I’ve pulled her back into this world with me, she takes a breath. “Calming down the longer we sit here.”

“Good. Starting to trust the equipment?”

She shakes her head. “No. I mean, I guess. But it’s more like I trust you.”

My eyebrows shoot upwards as my eyes widen. I can’t control the look of surprise I give her, but before I can say anything, she’s lifting a hand from between us, waving it dismissively.

“Physically. I trust you physically,” she corrects. “I have to. Physically, you’re right, I know you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”

All the questions I want to ask her are on the tip of my tongue, begging to be released, but I stop all of them as she pushes her hands into my chest. Without question, I release my arms from around her, giving her what she’s asking for, though I’m slower to drop my legs, letting her get used to not having the security of my body wrapped around hers.

Hailey takes a deep breath, releasing it gradually as she once again hangs on her own. Her hands are at my forearms, holding on, but then she lets go, lifting them an inch from me. Pride fills my chest as she hangs there, suspended in the air, putting her trust in the harness without all the tension from before.

“Dang. Would you look at that,” I say, my smile growing as she grabs onto the strap holding her from the cable. “You’re doing it all by yourself.”

A smile creeps across her face. “You’ve always believed I’m capable of more than I think I am. I suppose I can trust that, too.”

Grabbing onto the strap holding her up, I pull her towards me, coming as close as I can with our gear and without wrapping my legs around her again. She gasps, her grip tightening on the strap below my hand.

Eyes narrowing, I tell her in a tone that leaves no room for debate, “You are capable. Of whatever you want. Even if you’re scared, you can do whatever you set your mind to.”

Her chest rises and falls quicker than before, but I can tell by the blush spreading across her cheeks it has nothing to do with fear.

“My belief in you will never change. It never has,” I growl, and, unable to help myself, my eyes dart down to her lips before my gaze lands back on hers. “And if you ever find yourself in a position where you don’t think you can do something, you remember this moment. Are we clear?”

As though she also can’t help herself, I watch her eyes fall, only for a second, to look at my mouth. Like she needed the same glimpse as I did, but needed me to do it first.

“Clear,” she says breathily.

“Good. Now you’re going to get back up on that plank and finish this obstacle.” Releasing her strap, my hand catches her chin between my index finger and thumb, holding her face gently, a contrast to my words. “Because if you don’t, you’re going to regret it, and I’m not sure I can stand the thought of that.”

Hailey gives a small nod, and when I drop my hand from her face, her eyes hold mine for another moment before she looks at the suspended plank, working out how to get back on. I reach up to the cable above me, and drag myself further away, allowing her the space to work.

It takes her a few minutes, and a couple of attempts, to get herself there. I swear I see a tremble still in her hands, but when she finally gets both feet on the plank and is standing up on it, albeit a tad wobbly, I give a whoop of celebration. It’s followed by a chorus of cheers from down below, and I glance in that direction to find everyone standing beneath us, watching.

“You did it,” I grin at her, and she beams back at me, causing warmth to spread from my chest outwards. But when she hesitates to go any further, I add, “Fuck the fear, Freckles. Just do it.”

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