Page 92 of Addicted Lies

But he still bleeds…for me.

And it’s cost him his life.

And me with it.

CHAPTER 43

Billie

Istare at Ford’s lifeless form lying in the hospital bed. It’s been chaos as doctors and nurses hook him to different machines and insert a tube down his throat. I stare, stunned by how he can look like this now when, only twelve hours ago, he was smirking and holding me.

My palms are still sweaty as the poison runs its course through my system.

Hawke and I haven’t spoken since we arrived at the hospital. He’s standing across from me in the room now, arms folded over his chest as I sit by Ford’s side. I have no right to be here. It’s my fault. I did this.

“Show me to my son!” I hear the Russian accent echo down the hall toward us before Anya bursts into the room, her gaze immediately landing on Ford. For the first time ever, Anya looks stunned. River pushes her into the room, and she quickly collects herself as she storms up to Hawke. She slaps him across the face. Hard. Hawke barely flinches but looks away, ashamed.

“Where were you? How did you let this happen!” she shouts.

“Anya.” River tries to pull her away.

I burst out of my chair, and it screeches across the floor. “It was me!”

She turns to me then as if only just noticing me. Her violent gaze narrows on me. “You?”

Hawke looks up at me through thick lashes, his expression unreadable. I’m almost certain he blames me as well.

Now that I have Anya’s full attention, I shrink into myself. She’s going to kill me.

“A woman kidnapped me and Ford.” My bottom lip wobbles because the reality of everything is sinking in. “He drank poison.”

“And what, you’re too good for him that you couldn’t drink it instead?” she demands.

“Anya!” River snaps, pulling her back. “We don’t understand the circumstances,” he reminds her.

I welcome her anger.

I welcome her to tear me into two.

A dark presence fills the doorway as Eli walks in. He quickly assesses the situation and gravitates toward me, his full height and mass filling the space as he pointedly stands beside me. He doesn’t say anything, and Anya isn’t at all deterred by him. But it brings a clear divide to the room.

Eli looks down at his loyal man in the bed and then focuses on Hawke. “Update?”

Hawke clears his throat as if coming back to reality for the first time. He blinks a few times, clearly paralyzed in the same way I am. I sink into my chair, doing everything to fight the tears.

I deserve this, not Ford.

“It appears Emily Fall was behind the poisonings. I dealt with her. Apparently, her lover was part of Laurence Tate’s crew, and she was one of the women we let go that night when we killed them.”

Anya blinks as if a startling understanding hits her.

“Hmm.” Eli hums as he glances back down at Ford, clearly pissed at himself for missing a vital clue before it was too late. I don’t know exactly who the people they’re referring to are or what business they had with them, but it appears everyone else in the room is fully aware of something I am not. “Do I want to ask how you got involved?”

Eli’s penetrating glare turns to me, and I look up at him, tears in my eyes as I wring my hands in my lap.

“Ah,” is all he says right before all hell breaks loose.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Dutton shouts as he bursts into the room. The information would’ve trickled to my brother, who would’ve been able to put pieces of the puzzle together. Eli moves in front of him as Hawke stands at the end of his brothers’ bed protectively. “You fucking touched my sister!” Dutton is a wild, savage animal on the hunt for blood.

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