Page 69 of Addicted Lies

He actually has the audacity to smile smugly as he forces me to move as he invades my space. “Don’t be so sure you know everything about me, Chaos.” His finger presses down on a key, and I narrow my gaze at him in silent challenge. “Try to keep up,” he says as he begins to play a classical piece.

I’m shocked, absolutely floored. My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I watch this beast of a man play something so beautiful. And it’s a song I know well. It’s the one I performed solo at my high school graduation ceremony. But I’ve never played it with someone else.

I follow his lead, an easy harmony flowing between us. A few people have surrounded us now, and I can tell Ford is uncomfortable with the attention. He’s used to being in the shadows, under the radar, where no one notices him. Yet he’s willing to put himself in the spotlight now. I have no idea why that is, but my heart races excitedly at how perfect this moment is.

It feels so out of this world, and I embrace all of it, my shoulders sagging as I let the tension of the last few weeks ripple away… and I simply be. In this space. In this now. Remembering why I loved piano so much in the first place.

I’d forgotten the things that brought me joy as I focused on what everyone did or didn’t want of me.

No one ever put pressure on me except for me.

The song comes to a close, and I look at Ford, who’s still staring at the piano as if numbing out the small crowd we’ve gathered.

“How?” I ask quietly as we finish a few slow and careful notes as if the second the song truly ends, we’ll be taken away from this serene moment. It’s the first time in a long time I haven’t looked at Ford in anger or despised him for everything that’s happened in the past.

His voice is so quiet, I know only I can hear him. “Addictive personality, remember? I have many useless skills I learned in order to distract me.”

My eyebrows furrow again. So he skips from one thing to another to keep him entertained? I don’t even know how to interpret that. Seeing this kind of softness in Ford, a man who seeks punishments and seclusion, shakes my hatred for him. Not that I ever really hated him. But it reminds me how complicated this man is, and I soften to the thoughts of when he opens up to me little by little. I don’t expect him to have feelings that mirror mine, but simply being here right now, shoulder to shoulder? It’s… nice.

It’s peaceful.

It’sright.

A few people clap, and we’re suddenly taken from our peace, the world around us coming back into play. A world that doesn’t favor me and Ford together.

One question plays on my mind, and I ask it. “I played for so many years. Why didn’t you ever join me?”

“Because I enjoyed watching you,” he says matter-of-factly.

I try not to let it slip past my defenses, but it’s hard when it comes to this man. The bittersweetness of the lingering feeling that we’re not entirely done. The reality that is we’re not good for one another. And not just because of Ford’s fixation and addiction, but because of my own as well.

“Wow. I didn’t know you could play,” Matthew says from over my shoulder. I turn my back to Ford, my heart pounding as if I’ve done something wrong. I see he’s holding what I assume to be a vodka and soda.

Ivy joins Hope, and they watch us carefully. I feel like I have nowhere to run with the man I desire at my back, and the one I know I should want in front of me.

“You didn’t like the wine I ordered on our date, did you?” Matthew asks.

“Of course, she didn’t,” Ford grumbles.

Matthew seems to have not heard him.

“I tried to like it.” I blush, trying to block out Ford’s voice.

What I said isn’t a lie. I did try to like it. But wine just isn’t for me.

“Okay, noted. No wine for you.” He winks. “Ford, I never took you as the piano-playing type. Nice, dude.” He turns and says, “Good to see you, Hawke.”

I shift, spotting Hawke standing behind his brother, arms folded over his chest. Tension ripples through the room, and I have no fucking idea what is happening.

But from the way Hawke is looking at me, he clearly suspects something or is particularly sensitive to his brother lately. The two have always seemed weirdly in tune with one another. I guess it’s a twin thing.

“So, they actually let you date, little tornado?” Hawke asks, sounding anything but friendly, which is so unlike him. He has no reason not to like Matthew… unless Ford told him something. I flick my gaze to Ford to find him standing up from the bench.

“Well, considering I’m a grown woman, yes,” I reply, getting to my feet.

Ford clicks his tongue, and my jaw grinds at his dismissal, the bubble we were in bursting.

Eli and Jewel join the group, and I wish I were anywhere but here right now.

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