Page 94 of Addicted Lies

I can’t even face my own rollercoaster of emotions, and I know without a doubt I’m about to break down. I refuse to do that in front of anyone else. I don’t want to be a burden on anyone else anymore.

It just hurts so much.

I shove past him, his mouth opening and closing in shock.

“Billie,” my mother calls out. She tries to grab me, but I shake my head at her, the walls crashing in around me as I try not to hyperventilate.

The one place I want to be is by Ford’s side. But how can I face him? How can I love him when this hurts so much? Because love is not guaranteed. And Ford risks his life every day. I can’t do this again. I can’t be crippled by this fear of losing him.

So I do the only thing I know that’s best for both of us.

I run.

I know even that’s a lie. I’m only trying to protect myself.

But if I don’t, I’ll break under the pressure. Maybe I really am just the princess everyone has described me as.

Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought.

Love isn’t a fairytale.

CHAPTER 44

Ford

Ihave a pounding fucking headache, and something’s crushing my hand. Slowly, I peel my eyes open and look to my right. My brother is leaning against the wall, his arms folded, and it looks like he’s sleeping. I turn my head to the left, where I find my mother, her hand crushing mine as she stares at me like she’s willing away the grim reaper himself. My father stands behind her, massaging her shoulders.

The moment she sees my eyes, a relieved sigh rushes out of her. “You fucking took long enough. I was about to kill you myself.”

I can’t produce a smirk, but she seems to understand. Fuck, I hurt. My body feels like it’s on fire.

Everything slowly starts coming back to me, and I try to jerk into action. But restraints keep me in place. Not restraints…but tubes, IVs, wires, and the like. I’m in a hospital.

“Don’t push yourself,” My father says, trying to gently shove me back down.

“You fucking idiot!” Hawke says, no longer asleep. He bounds over and pulls me in for a big hug. “I actually thought you were dead. Don’t you ever fucking do that to me again.”

My head spins as I try to recall everything. “Billie. Where is she?”

My mother clicks her tongue and looks away. “Who cares.”

“Where. Is. She?” I growl.

“She’s safe,” My father confirms.

“Yeah, but she ran like a fucking coward,” Hawke seethes.

I lean back, relieved to hear she’s safe. “How long have I been out?”How much have I missed?

My mother looks at her perfectly manicured nails. “Three days. They only removed the tube from your throat this morning. The doctors say you’re lucky to be alive, but I knew you’d pull through. Everyone told me I was crazy for making you both microdose on poisons. But, well, look at us now.”

And I know that means my mother cares.But three days?

I stare at Hawke. “Where is she?” It’s the only thing I need to know. I didn’t think twice about drinking that poison. And, to be honest, although we’d built immunity to poisons over the years, there was no guarantee I’d survive. In fact, I’d made peace with the possibility I wouldn’t.

As long as she was safe.

“We don’t know. She did a runner after everything blew up,” Hawke says. When I stare at him, waiting for more, he clarifies, “Dutton found out.”

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