Page 88 of Broken Chorus

Micah nodded and swiped at his eyes again. “Yeah, she um, she left the plain life before I did. She always loved to sketch and paint. She’s got a real gift and an eye for the way colors and shapes go together; it would have been a shame for her to waste it.”

“Is always a shame to waste talent,” Aaron said softly. “I…”

Biting his lip, he knew he was about to admit to something that was a serious sore spot for him, but in this moment, when they were already sharing such personal pieces of their lives, it only seemed fitting.

“Growing up, I sang in the church choir,” Aaron admitted. “I loved singing. I loved the hymns, I loved the emotion in them, I loved everything about getting up there in the middle of the service and sharing in the joy of another Sunday morning. It was when I started learning to sing other stuff that everything changed. My gram and my aunt, they used to harp about how it was the devil’s music I was singing and how evil it all was and thatIwas wicked for singing it. That’s when I started hating to sing all together.”

“’Cause how could something that brought such joy and beauty be evil?” Micah said, finishing the thought for him. “I felt the same way about my guitar. I still remember the first time my old man caught me with it. He slapped my face and called me a sinner, and I stood there defiantly clutching it and told him that even sinners had a song. In hindsight, it was the wrong thing to say.”

“Prolly about as wrong as me telling my Gran that there was no more perfect sin than one that let me touch the hearts of other sinners.”

“You’re good at it too,” Micah murmured.

“Huh?”

“That night at the bar you touched onto something raw and so damned emotional that I was choking down tears as I was playing beside you,” Micah said. “I can only imagine how moved the people in the church were if you sang hymns that way.”

Aaron tried to smile, but all he could do was shrug and remember, not the beauty of it all, but how much it hurt when his aunt and Gram had come down on him for trying to explore the full range of what his voice could do.

“I guess in a way, we’re both lucky,” Micah said, his voice low and still filled with sadness. “We don’t have to live trapped in the shadow of someone else’s rules anymore.”

“Even if the loss still hurts,” Aaron murmured.

“And probably always will,” Micah finished.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t get to say goodbye,” Aaron said softly.

“And I’m sorry that you had to.”

Aaron smiled a little at that, able to breathe easier for the first time since getting off the phone.

“Do you mind just hanging out here with me for a while,” Micah asked. “It’s cool if you need to get back to the house, but I could really use the company.”

“No, I’ve um, got nowhere to be. I came out here so the kids wouldn’t see me all fucked up and emotional,” Aaron admitted.

“Did something new happen?”

“You could say that,” Aaron said, sprawling on his back and staring up at the trees and the slivers of dark sky between the branches. “I hired a PI to find out some things about my mom and the past and the truth was worse than I could have ever imagined.”

“Sorry man. I hate to say it, but most times it is.”

“Yeah.”

Sucking in a breath, Aaron held it for as long as he could, letting it press against the ache that had settled in his chest, a sort of counter-pressure that kept some of the drowning misery at bay.

“Kelly, Ethan and Jason grew up together,” Aaron murmured, finding that reminiscing about the old band hurt less than thinking about his mom and everything her family had put them both through.

“I thought you all did?” Micah asked. He was sprawled the opposite way, their heads almost touching. They’d get rained on soon, but Aaron really didn’t care, maybe it would help wash away all the confusion swirling around in his mind, or maybe they’d just get soaked and lay there until the storm drowned everything.

“We grew up in the same place, but Hawk went to school on the other side of town while I went to a private Christian school and had to pretty much sneak around to hang out with them. I had this friend, Weldon…Wells, we all called him Wells. Him my grandparents approved of, unlike Hawk and the others, so, I’d say I was going to Weldon’s house, then cut through the woods behind it over to the Kelly’s place. His folks never minded how much noise we made out in their garage; they just stockedthe fridge with extra sodas and snacks and helped keep my grandparents from catching me hanging around the place.”

“Sounds like cool people.”

“They are. They’re where we gotfamily dayfrom. Well, them and Hawk’s insanely boisterous and seriously huge extended family. You could get lost among them even if you knew everyone.”

“Sounds a lot like my family,” Micah admitted. “There were always aunts and cousins and relatives around, especially if there was something to celebrate and trust me when I tell you that Amish people love any reason to gather together, share food and catch up with one another.”

Aaron chuckled at that, though it sounded brittle and bitter to his ears. “Southern people are the same way. Even my Gram and Pop-pop liked to go to gatherings, as long as they were full of other church folks.”

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