Page 71 of Broken Chorus

He'd scarfed edibles and gotten so high he’d nearly made himself sick to his stomach and probably would have gotten into worse if Hawk hadn’t knocked on the door of his room at the bed and breakfast and enveloped Aaron in the hug he’d desperately needed.

When Hawk’s hand fell away from his shoulder, Aaron shivered and inched closer to him while he opened an umbrella and held it over them. It didn’t keep the rain from blowing at them from the side, or the flowers from scattering when the rough gusts tore them from their bouquets.

His Gram had said it was fitting, that the day of her death should be filled with as much turmoil as she’d wrought in life. Her words should have stung, but the only thing Aaron cared about was getting his mother in the ground properly, and himself as far away from this place as he could get.

The preacher said his final prayer and the first shovel of dirt hit the surface of the coffin with a wet, gritty rattle. How was a person supposed to feel, losing someone they’d never really had? He searched his soul for a sense of loss, but it had always been there. Death where he’d always believed death was, didn’t change the sensation of emptiness. Maybe that was because nothing here ever could.

That revelation hit him as he watched his gram and pop-pop walk past him without sparing him a glance. His aunt lingered by the grave of her sister, scattering rose petals among the dirt that was steadily being shoveled in. Other people had the kinds of relationships where hugs would be welcome, but in his gram’s house, that kind of affection was reserved for those who weren’t tainted.

In other words…those who weren’t him.

Only after she walked away did he move among the rows. It was a long shot, but he was searching for the headstones of anyone named Erik to see if there was someone among them that his mother might have grown up with. There were two Eriks that fit the timeframe, so he wrote down the names and dates, trying to avoid getting the paper so wet that he wouldn’t be able to read it later. It helped that Hawk did his best to keep the umbrella over him, despite Aaron’s love of the rain.

It won’t help anything for you to get sick. Would just delay our trip home since I know you wouldn’t go anywhere near the kids if you weren’t feeling well and no way in hell would I leave you here alone.

He was right, even if Aaron longed to tip his head back and feel the rain wash the tears from his face. A silent presence, Hawk guided him back to the car when he was done wandering, their bags already in the trunk, their flight home booked.

Home.

Hawk had been referring to it that way since he’d arrived. No longer calling itmy place,orthe cabin, buthome. Just the promise of it was far warmer than that bright yellow house had ever been.

“Do you still have the number for the private investigator you used when that crazy stalker fanboy was running around impersonating you?” Aaron asked after several miles had rolled past.

“Yeah, he really saved my ass, so I held on to it in case we ever needed help like that again.”

“The cops were looking to put you under the jail by the time that guy was through spinning his lies,” Aaron recalled. “I hope he’s just as good at untangling old mysteries.”

“You want to know who Erik was, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I really do,” Aaron admitted. “I guess, maybe it’s ‘cause I need to know that she loved somebody and that she was loved ‘cause I don’t think those old bastards loved her anymore than they loved me.”

“I don’t think they know the meaning of love,” Hawk said as he reached over and squeezed Aaron’s knee, “but none of that matters anymore. They don’t have to feel anything for you ‘cause me and the kids, we’re gonna show you what a home and family are supposed to be like. And you don’t need to worry about the band, either, I’ve got an idea that might help all of us get exactly what we need. Just trust me okay?”

“Always.”

Chapter 17

Fear breeds fear and more fear

Divide and conquer. That had been Hawk’s proposal. When he’d said it, Aaron had assumed he was talking about who’d do dinner prep and who would get the kids ready for bed. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined it would lead to him and Dani in the Save Rite grocery store, with the list he and Ellahad composed from the handful of children’s cookbooks they’d checked out from the library.

Hawk had taken Ella to do the back-to-school shopping he’d been putting off since the start of the school year, while Kelly had taken Liam to his gymnastics class. The plan was to meet back at the cabin with enough supplies that they wouldn’t have to return to town for at least two weeks, which meant Aaron was probably going to need a second cart at some point, though…

Divide and conquer.

He could apply that to the grocery list too. He and Ella had looked through the cookbooks and stuffed tiny pieces of colorful paper in between the pages of the recipes she wanted for the teddy bear tea party, and of course, Dani had gotten in on it and selected foods she wanted to try. Currently she was content with the free banana they’d snagged on their way past the produce section, and the board book that Aaron had brought along to keep her entertained. If he were to get the non-perishables first, check out and pack them in the truck, then come back in to do the rest of their shopping, he wouldn’t need to pull one cart while pushing the other and he could keep the bulk of his attention on Dani. Hawk had already warned him of her propensity for sidecar shopping, swiping things in bright packaging and dropping them into the cart simply because they lookedpretty.

Last time, Hawk had gotten to the checkout counter with pink frosted animal crackers, three pairs of socks with kitty cat and llama faces, and an assortment of Japanese candies in bright packaging with cartoon faces and names Hawk hadn’t been able to pronounce. She hadn’t been the least bit remorseful either. Just pointed out to Hawk that she was helping. How was he supposed to argue with that, he’d mused later, while curled beside Aaron in bed.

It was eye opening, seeing the big man reduced to a puddle of goo by her giggles, and a frantic mess by her tears. He wasn’t the only one either. She had Aaron wrapped around her little finger and there was no doubt in Aaron’s mind that she’d soon have Kelly and the rest of the band there too, once they’d spent more time with her. How anyone couldn’t love that curious, precocious little girl was beyond comprehension. He just had to take one glance at that wildly curly hair, dimpled cheeks, and gap-toothed grin to melt at her feet.

“Ohhh looky what that pink?”

She was pointing to a spiky looking fruit Aaron had never seen before. It had to be tropical, judging by the color. Hadn’t he read somewhere that all those brightly colored fruits only grew in hot, humid places? Or maybe that was birds. The sign underneath said Dragon Fruit, but all Aaron could picture when he read the words was one of the refresher drinks he got at his favorite coffee shop.

“It’s a Dragon Fruit,” he told her, pointing to the picture to show her what the inside looked like.

“Dragons real? Won’t they be mad we take their fruit? Unky Hawk said it bad to steal.”

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