Page 58 of Broken Chorus

“Of course I will, but you might have to teach me how to draw a teddy bear, I haven’t done any coloring in years.”

“It’s okay, we’ll practice,” she said before polishing off the remainder of her bowl. He rinsed it and her cup when she was done, then walked her back to the room and got her tucked in again. Several bears lined the edge of her bed, while several others were positioned on the top of her dresser. He made a mental note of the ones he saw, so he could get a head start on the spinner. He could make the arrow out of cardboard and find a screw and bolt to attach it to the center, but he’d need to divide it up into equal parts and figure out where Hawk kept the finger paints so he could decorate it for her.

He was just about to head for the box when he noticed a shadow where there hadn’t been one before, and spotted Hawk leaning against the kitchen doorway, the look on his face one Aaron had never seen before. For a moment, he wondered if he’d fucked up. The tea party had seemed like the best solution to Ella’s dilemma, but it would mean a lot of work, and maybe he should have asked Hawk before promising her something like that.

“You didn’t really think you could sneak out of bed and I wouldn’t notice,” Hawk said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Wanted you to get some sleep, since you’re always up when one of the kids needs something.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Ella was hungry.”

“I know. Thanks for getting her something nutritious rather than handing her the easiest snack and sending her back to bed.”

“You wouldn’t approve of a snack cake at this time of night.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t,” Hawk said, catching Aaron’s hand and tugging him flush against his chest. Hawk’s arms locked around him and held him there while Hawk stroked his hair. “Thank you.”

“It was nothing.”

“It was everything to that little girl,” Hawk said as he shoved Aaron back from him and even shook him a little. “Stop undervaluing everything you do.”

“All I did was get her some fruit and milk and sit with her until she’d finished it.”

“That’s not all and you know it,” Hawk said. “There are a lot of ways that you could have answered her question. Hell, you could have brushed it off or told her to ask me, at which point I’d have probably fucked it all up by telling her that teddy bears don’t have feelings. Instead, you handled it, and in a way that let her keep the whimsy of being a kid, the same way you did with Dani and SpongeBob. I’m looking forward to wearing my flower crown and getting my picture taken with the bears, too.”

Exhaling, Aaron leaned in until he could press his head against Hawk’s shoulder. “I was afraid I’d screwed up,” he admitted. “I wasn’t sure if I should ask permission first or if you’d be upset because there’s a lot to do to get ready for it.”

Hawk shook his head and tugged Aaron in for a gentle kiss. “I will never be upset at anything that you do to help one of the kids feel safe and confident and happy. You came up with a creative solution that was perfect in the moment, and I’m proud of you for that.”

“I…that box that we unpacked earlier, that should be big enough, if I cut it apart right and tape sections back together to make a spinner.”

“Andwewill, right after breakfast,” Hawk insisted as he led Aaron back to the bedroom. “Right now, you need sleep as much as I do.”

“I just want to make sure I can deliver on everything I promised without having to leave pieces for you.”

“If there are things you don’t get around to, then I’ll help her do them, that’s not a problem, but are you sure you’re good with flying back and forth so often?”

“I’d rather be here than anywhere else in the world,” Aaron replied, allowing Hawk to nudge him across the bed and onto his side so Hawk could spoon up behind him.

“What about your life in the city?” Hawk asked.

“What life?” Aaron asked, sliding his hand over Hawk’s. “I go up two flights to play music and down two flights to go to bed. I’ve got no interest in hanging around at Shenanigans now that Kazzy isn’t speaking to me, and there’s not much else I was doing with my spare time, so what’s there to miss? Kelly and I don’t even go exploring the way we used to.”

“Why’d you stop?”

Was hard to shrug, positioned the way he was, and knowing Hawk, he’d expect a verbal response and wait, silently, until he got one.

“I guess, after rehab, we got so focused on putting shit back together so we could make music again that all that extra stuff that we used to do, like going to the go-cart track and fucking around at the amusement park, took a back burner to pulling together a band.”

“Only, you keep saying that music isn’t where your heart is at, not fully, so why not go out and do some of the other things you used to love?”

“Because it sucks doing stuff alone, so I don’t bother. When I’m here I get to do plenty with you and the kids and that’s all I need.”

“Have you told Kelly that?”

“No.”

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