Page 42 of Broken Chorus

“I need you to stop blaming me whenever things don’t go the way you want them to, for starters, and give me some space to figure out what’s got me so conflicted about everything from what I want for breakfast to what chord would be best to exit the refrain.”

“You want my opinion?”

“Whether I do or not, you’re gonna give it, so you might as well get it over with.”

“Okay. I think you’re too deep in your own head. I think you’ve been second guessing everything you do and engaging in some serious self-critiquing that’s left you spiraling and unwilling to be honest enough about it to let anyone help you.”

“Because it’s not right! None of it is…the songs are messy and weak. They’ve got no power to them. The delivery is flat. Were out of synch and I don’t just mean the beat!”

“Which is why we need to be able to talk about it and not have you clam up when it comes time to have a discussion about how we can tighten shit up.”

“Right,” Aaron groaned. “Until I say the wrong thing and you get pissed at me.”

“How am I gonna get pissed at you for trying to help polish the pieces we’ve been working on?”

“Trust me. If I say what I wanna say, you will.”

“And what do you want to say?”

“That I need Declan to tone down the flourishes for now and just keep shit basic until we can work our way through a piece several times with some fuckin’ consistency!” Aaron snapped.

“Have you considered that the only reason he’s been doing that is to prove to you that he’s every bit as good as both you and I know he is?”

“Whatever the reason behind it, I need it to stop,” Aaron said. “They’re awesome and he can add them back in once we work the other parts out, but right now they’re distracting and making me feel like I need to hurry the fuck up and keep up before you decide that I can’t.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Kelly said, rubbing his hands together. “Andyou’ve confirmed exactly what I’ve been afraid of.”

“And what’s that?”

“That Hawk was right when he said that I was pushing you too hard, too fast,” Kelly admitted. “I’m sorry. Guess maybe I’ve been too damned enthusiastic about the whole thing and pushing so we can give the folks at Rocktoberfest an answer before we run out of time to accept the offer they made to let our new band play in place of the old one.”

Rocktoberfest.

For the first time all day, Aaron smiled as he thought back to their days in the desert. Glow tag, neon climbing walls and the most amazing collection of metal music in the word. Humming, Aaron let out a happy sigh. “Best festival ever.”

“Yeah, it really was. The fans are awesome,” Kelly said. “Having the chance to interact with and listen to all those other bands makes me happy I haven’t lost my ability to kick back and just be a fan after all these years.”

“Same. I hope they do the shred off again this year,” Aaron admitted.

“Why, you gonna sign up this time?”

“Oh hell no! I know where I stand and it isn’t up there with the likes of Dez, Ryder and Stoli!”

“Why?”

“’Cause I’m not that good and you know it.”

“I call bullshit. You’ve always held your own. You’ve always been ranked in the top twenty-five every year they’ve put out a listing of the top guitarists.”

“Yeah, the bottom end of the list.”

“If you consider thirteen, fifteen, and ten the bottom.”

“Sure. List my best numbers.”

“Because it makes no sense to list the worst when you’ve been climbing, steadily for the last five years, so quit your bullshit. I know the issue is you not wanting to put yourself out there, but if you’re gonna front this band…”

“Which I’m not.”

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