Page 2 of Broken Chorus

“Miserable!” Kelly declared, silencing all of Aaron’s attempts at protesting. “And I’m god damned tired of it. You two should never have broken up in the first place.”

“Don’t you mean broken upagain?”

“That too,” Kelly grumbled as he bushed the hair from his eyes.

“Then you should be saying it to him, not me! I never wanted to split up. He made that decision for the both of us when he decided that I wouldn’t be able to handle helping him raise his brother’s kids!”

“In all fairness, it’s a hell of a lot forhimto take on with how abruptly he was forced into it,” Kelly replied. “Asking someone else to commit themselves when it isn’t their responsibility….”

“We’re not talking about just anyone! We’re talking about me.”

“Yes,pre-soberyou, which, much likepre-soberHawk, was one shitshow after another waiting to happen.”

“Thanks a lot, captain pot.”

“Which is actually why I can say that and know what I’m talking about!”

Letting out a long breath, Aaron barely refrained from reminding Kelly all the shit he’d pulled. “At least we agree on something.”

“Look. You and Hawk, you make magic when you create together. That never changed no matter what the parametersof your relationship. Fuckbudies, dating, you damn near gave the rest of us whiplash with how inconsistent you’ve been these past few years. Let’s face it, the relationship wasn’t without its turbulence, either, though it never affected your ability to create together. In fact, there were times when it only seemed to enhance it. The way you guys were draped around one another at the end of the last tour, well, I thought you’d finally worked shit out and committed yourselves to giving it a real go.”

“We had…until the accident,” Aaron muttered, wincing at the memory that invaded his thoughts. When Hawk had gotten the call to say his brother and sister-in-law had been killed, they’d all known he’d have to step away from the tour for awhile, but none of them had ever expected him to not return at all. Being named guardian of his nieces and nephew had meant big changes for Hawk, but the fallout had blown their once close-knit band all to hell and they were still picking up the pieces. Hawk no longer being a member of the band didn’t change the fact that Aaron wanted their relationship to work, whatever adjustments needed to be made to help that happen.

“I guess you’d better get busy changing his mind,” Kelly said, mercifully leaving it at that.

Aaron shot him a double bird as he stood and immediately started pacing. “You think I haven’t tried?”

“I think you should try again and keep on trying until you get it right. You two were meant for one another. Anything else is just a meaningless hookup…haven’t you been the one saying that for years?”

Nodding, Aaron had to concede that point. “Yeah.”

“Then figure out what you need to do to convince him that you’re ready, willing, and able to be everything he needs right now, and for fuck’s sake, chill out tonight, please. Don’t go playing the part of the asshole you’re known to be when forcedout of your element. You do remember how to relax and not be a dick, don’t you?”

“We’ll see,” Aaron said, waving the blunt in his direction. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go hydrate.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Kelly grumbled.

Scowling, Aaron flipped him off a second time before stepping into the cool night and closing the balcony door behind him. Through the glass he watched Kelly slump in his seat, pinch the bridge of his nose, and shake his head like he was utterly done with Aaron.

Too bad. Micah and Declan might be the best musicians who’d auditioned, but performing with someone was different from making music with them. On stage you needed a special type of chemistry; levels of trust and energy that only grew the more you shared them. Aaron had serious reservations about his ability to connect with either of them.

Closing his eyes, Aaron exhaled, a smile tugging the corners of his lips as memories of old songs washed over him. Damn but he really wished Hawk was here right now. They’d had some amazing times in this space.

And a lot of not so good ones too.

Those stray thoughts we intrusive as hell and now his nerves were kicking in. A band was close knit, intimate….family. You knew things about one another the world would never know. It took a level of trust to get to that point, and a level of comfort too. The last thing he needed was someone tripping him back into old memories of the grandparents who’d raised him and the joyless, loveless house he’d grown up in. He’d hated it there. Hated that they’d believed his every thought, desire and action was going to send him sliding down the slippery slope into hell. Most of all, he’d hated their inability to show any sort of love or affection for him.

How was he supposed to create with someone who might see things the same way? What little he knew of the Amish, they were as strict and devoted as his damned grandparents. Was it even possible to separate yourself from that life enough to create the kind of music Aaron and Kelly did? It was just one of many things that left him skeptical about Micah. He could practically picture the sneer on their new guitarist’s face when he got a taste of some of the lyrics they’d written. Aaron was not about to negotiate with someone about what they would or wouldn’t play and he sure as fuck wasn’t about to change a single god damned word, no matter who they offended.

Through the glass, Aaron watched as Kelly opened the door and ushered in their new bandmates, but he waited until they’d vanished down the hall before he came back in and made a beeline for Kelly’s kitchen, rummaging around in the fridge until he found the leftover beef and broccoli container he’d forgotten to take home. Unfortunately, he’d forgotten how many days ago that was, and opening it up revealed the sad, sickening sight of mold on everything.

Nose wrinkling in revulsion, he carried it to the trash and quickly disposed of it as Kelly joined him in the room.

“Cleaning out my fridge for me?” Kelly asked as he leaned against the counter.

“Naa, was gonna finish my beef and broccoli only to discover there was far more penicillin than broccoli and the beef smelled rancid as hell.”

“Thanks for the image, not. I’m guessing all the containers are that way.”

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