Page 36 of A Fowl Match

I wake up with tears in my eyes. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. I repeat the words through a loop in my mind, willing them to be true.

I wish it was just a dream.Today was the day I lost everything, and the painful reminder eats at me every year.

I grab the purple notebook on my nightstand hoping for a semblance of something happy. I open to a random journal entry.

Dear H,

Today was one of the worst days of my life. When I received the call, I was in shock. It was all so much worse than I could have imagined. Lily and John are gone. How can they be gone? They are so much younger than me. I was supposed to go first. Not them. Nothing is right in the world. This can’t be true. Sadly, it is. Poor Violet is barely hanging on. I’m with her now in the hospital waiting for her to wake up. What am I going to tell her? How do I make it sound like there is hope? At the moment I don’t believe in any hope myself. I have to be strong for her. I am all that she has. I love her and I would do anything for her; she’s just like a granddaughter to me. She’s only fifteen and her parents are gone. This doesn’t feel real. I wish that you could be by my side as more than a friend, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship so Ican’t give you this letter. But I know you will be there for me regardless.

With Love,

Darcy Burton

The letter I chose was not what I was hoping for. How can it be that the next entry is the last one I needed to read at that moment?

I tug my white, flower-covered duvet comforter off me, the decorative tassels swaying as it lands on the end of the bed with a thump. I throw on a pair of leggings, a sports bra, and pull my hair up into a high ponytail. A sweatshirt from the day before calls to me from the floor. That will have to do. I drape it over my body and shove on some running shoes.

I take the stairs two at a time and run into a storage closet in the shop, grabbing my collapsible fishing rod and kit. I shove it into a drawstring bag and throw it over my shoulders, then skid straight out the door.

I run on the sidewalk along the town, heading straight for the pond behind some of the shops. It’s still dark and I can barely see in front of me. The soft glow from the streetlights leaves a small path of sight. I’m running as if I’m being chased.

It was all my fault.The thought haunts me. I never knew what I had until it was all gone. In the blink of an eye everything that I had taken for granted disappeared. Leaving me cold and broken. Alone and guilt stricken. I can never forgive myself.

I made it to the opening of the trail in record time. I run with a purpose down the path that leads straight to the pond. It’s a straight shot from here on.

The sky is starting to lighten, but there are no streetlights on this stretch of path. So, I’m running blindly. My feet are moving and my eyes are filled with tears. I can barely feel my legsanymore. I see what looks like a dark shadow moving towards me. My eyes must be playing tricks on me because there is no way anyone is out here this early in the morning.

Before I have a chance to move out of the way, I slam straight into what feels like a brick wall. Stars flood my vision as I fall backwards. I’m inches from hitting the stone path when strong arms grab my waist and break my fall.

I either ran straight into a serial killer or I’m imagining things. Probably andhopefullythe latter.

“Are you okay?” a male voice disrupts my thoughts.

I know that voice. It’s a voice I’ve heard for the past three weeks. One I thought I loathed and now I somehow feel comfortable around. My thoughts are a whirlwind of emotions. He saved me from falling this time? I feel like all I do is make a fool out of myself around him. I’m constantly clumsy in his presence.

“Violet, what happened?” he asks again, concerned.

That does it. Hearing him worried for me opens the floodgates of my emotions. I haven’t let anyone in my life for years, other than Olive and Darcy. And I don’t share much with them anymore. They’ve done more than enough for me in the past. These feelings are the ones I’ve been holding onto for so long. Not once did I allow myself to face anything head on. Not since the day my life stopped. I work constantly to try and keep my mind busy, running the shop, helping other store owners, always busy. I haven’t let myself have a break to feel my emotions.

Just say you’re fine.“No—I'm not okay.” I croak and my body sags into him. He wraps an arm around me, pulling me to a bench along the path.

“Hey, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry if I did.” He looks at me, checking for injuries, and brushes tears from my face. “I can call Dr. Newman. I’m sure she’d see you this early.” He pulls out his phone to call her.

“No, don’t call Paula. You didn’t hurt me. I’m physically fine.” My voice cracks and comes out scratchy.

Sobs rake my body, and I shake uncontrollably. At some point in my catatonic state Dustin takes off my drawstring bag and pulls me into his arms. They are strong and hold me steady. Like a weighted blanket draping over my body keeping me safe.

We don’t talk for what feels like hours. My head is leaning against his chest. His hand brushes soothing strokes up and down my back. My tears have subsided, but the bone deep ache is still there, festering.

He remains quiet, not a single word spoken. Although he didn’t ask, I feel as if I owe him some sort of explanation. I owe it to myself. I want to tell him. “Thirteen years ago today my parents and I were on our way to North Carolina to go to Nags Head.” My voice is almost a whisper, but Dustin doesn’t move, he just continues holding me. “We got into a car accident halfway through our trip. I was the only one who made it. A drunk driver hit our car.”

“I’m so sorry Violet. You don’t owe me an explanation. If you don’t want to tell me anything more, you don’t have to,” he says, looking down at me. His ocean blue eyes look into mine with a somber expression and I soften. His dirty blonde hair is tousled and his shirt is tear soaked.

“I want to explain.” I wipe a stray tear from my left eye. “That’s why I won’t drink alcohol. I know it had nothing to do with me, but I won’t touch it regardless. Someone drinking took away everything I had. I can’t bear to touch it.”

Dustin shakes his head. “I’m sorry I ever asked. I shouldn’t have.”

“No. It’s okay. You were asking a harmless question. I just wanted to explain.”

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