Page 57 of A Fowl Match

“Yes, you can. What can I do? Why are you upset? I can take some of your hurt on my shoulders. I can take it all.”

“I mess everything up, okay?”

“No, you don’t.” His expression softens.

“Yes, I do! I am the reason my parents are gone! I am the reason Darcy never went after Henry, her soulmate. She spent the past thirteen years of her life hiding her love for him because she didn’t want to feel like she was putting anyone else above me. She thought I would feel abandoned. I’m going to ruin your life like I do with everyone else's. And I can’t let that happen.

“You are not at fault for either of those things.”

“I am though, you don’t even know. I haven’t told you. I’ve been too afraid to tell you.” I pause, wishing the words I have to say never had to leave my mouth. “I made my parents late that day because I was too worried about how I looked. We were going on vacation, and I spent an extra hour worried about my hair. If I didn’t make them late, we would have never been in an accident. Then to make things worse, I put my headphones in and ignored them the whole car ride. I don’t even remember the last thing I said to them.”

“That’s not your fault. You were a kid; how would you know something like that would happen? You didn’t.” His voice softens.

“It is.”

“No, it’s not, and I’m never going to leave you no matter how much you try to push me away, dammit. I love you. Are you hearing me? I love you, Violet Tarynn Hart.”

Helovesme?

No. No. No. This isn’t good. I’ve loved him way longer than I admitted it to myself. If I tell him that, he will never have a chance at what he really deserves. Someone who can give him everything, all of them. That someone isn’t me.

“I—I’m sorry but I don’t love you, I never have and I never will.” I try my best to keep my voice toneless. I look down at the ground, fighting back tears that threaten to fall.

“You don’t mean that.” His voice is shaky.

“I do. Now go. Please.” I don't want him to go. I am madly in love with him. And the thought of hurting him is devastating.

“I—”

“Just go Dustin.” The defeated look that crosses over his face breaks me as he turns to leave.

Just like that, he’s gone. He said he would never leave. But I said the only thing I knew that would make him.

Chapter 41

Dustin

It’sbeenthreedayssince I told Violet I loved her. It’s also been the same number of days since she told me she didn’t love me back. The thing is, I know she was lying. As she said it, she looked down at her feet. I knew instantly it was a lie. I had to give her some space to work things out with herself. So, I did the last thing I wanted to do and left. I walked out the door as I painstakingly listened to her sobs. It almost broke me to leave her in that condition. No, it did break me.

I regret it now.

I promised I wouldn’t leave. There was nothing I could do or say to make her want me to stay in that moment. I know what she was doing: pushing me away. Like she always does. I did the only thing I thought I could, and that was to send Olive over to talk with her. She assured me she would make sure she was okay. And I trusted that she would.

“Quit sulking over there and help me out,” Mason calls from the other end of the bar.

“You really need to hire someone,” I grumble as I continue collecting empty pitchers, plates, and glasses. Somehow Mason suckered me into helping out closing at Rooster’s the past couple of days. Not that I’m complaining too much. At least I’m kept busy around the farm during the day and at night I spend the last few hours cleaning up the bar. Once I hit my bed every night, I’m so exhausted that I crash.

Through everything I have going on I still think about her every waking moment. I can’t even bear to look at the damn cat. Violet and Sardine are both my undoing.

Everything around me reminds me of her. I can’t even go for a run. The pond makes me think of the day we went fishing and the smile I saw return to her face. Don’t get me started on her smile. The way Violet’s smile lights up any room that she enters, confounds me. How she wears crazy outfits and doesn’t give a damn about what anyone thinks of them. The way she is obsessed with watchingShrekrelentlessly even though she's watched it so many times. The way animals gravitate towards her presence alone speaks of the warmness she carries. That green thumb of hers, nurturing any plant she touches. Hell, she even keeps orchids alive; that is an almost impossible feat. I am a fool, a fool in love. And it’s killing me to be apart from her. I know she needs me but doesn’t want to need me right now. So, she’s cutting everyone off.

“Why do I need to hire someone when I have free help?” He chuckles.

“Fair point. I quit. Now you need to hire someone.”

“Oh, come on man. I appreciate the help and you know it.” He points an accusing finger in my direction. “When hay season comes around, I will be helping you out for days straight.”

“And you’re always good for it.” I know damn well every year while I was gone, avoiding this place out of guilt, he was here helping my grandfather twice a year.

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