Page 23 of Kiss Me Softly

“You don’t like my parents?” she asked in shock.

“Your parents are fine, but they wouldn’t be my first choice in dining companions,” I said. “I’d go with you if there was a teacher dinner or something.”

Frankie pushed her chair away from the table so fast that it tipped over. “I’ve got to go.”

“What? Go where?”

“I have stuff to do,” she said evasively.

“You’re just taking off in the middle of a conversation?” I asked incredulously.

“I’m sorry Aurora, I don’t want to be made up like a doll and hang out with rich assholes all night. I just can’t do it. Find someone else.”

Then she was rushing out of my apartment while I watched open-mouthed.

Frankie

Iwas a coward. I’d rushed out of Aurora’s apartment two days ago and completely avoided her since then, wanting to avoid further confrontation. I kind of figured that she’d text or come down and tell me not to worry, that I didn’t need to do anything that made me uncomfortable, but I hadn’t heard a peep from my girlfriend.

Now my impulsive escape from her apartment was turning into something else. The longer it dragged on, the worse it was. Were we fighting? Were we broken up? I had no idea. I had no idea what Aurora was thinking right now. Of course if I’d just talk to her I would know. She never shied away from sharing her feelings.

It was one of many ways that we were different. I loved talking to her – I could talk to her for hours – but I wasn’t the kind of person who talked about my emotions. I was like my dad in that way. He’d never said he loved me, never shared if he was sad. He was the type of guy who showed how he felt about you with his actions, not his words.

It drove my mother crazy. Just like Aurora, she was a verbal processor.

All I knew was that I missed my girlfriend. I missed talking to her. I missed snuggling with her. And it was all my fault.

I needed to fix this, but still I waited in vain for Aurora to come to me, even though I was the one who’d ran out on her. After nearly a week I realized that it was up to me to take the next step, so I swallowed my pride and knocked on her door. She answered immediately, as if she’d heard me coming.

“Hey.” I gave her a searching look.

“Yes?” Aurora raised her eyebrows, her face a cold mask I’d never seen before. She stood in the doorway, holding the door partly open, making no move to let me in.

“Sorry I ran out the other night,” I said quietly. “And I’m sorry I can’t go to your event with you.”

“Can’t or won’t?” she asked.

“Um.”

“Is there some reason you ran out of my apartment the other night when we were in the middle of a discussion and then didn’t call or text or come by since then?” she asked.

My stomach gurgled uncomfortably. I figured I’d apologize, and we’d be good. I wasn’t expecting Aurora to still be upset with me. I was an idiot. Of course she was mad. I’d be really angry if the situation was reversed.

“You know I’m not really good with conflict,” I said. “I mean, if it wasn’t for your encouragement I’d still be dating Barbie.”

“Are you saying that it’s my fault you broke up with Barbie?” she asked incredulously.

“Well no, I didn’t mean it that way,” I said “I’m just… well, I could tell you were getting mad at me about the gala thing, so I thought it was best to distance myself for a few days until you got over it.”

“So whenever we don’t agree on something, your plan is to ghost me for a few days and then pop up here like everything’s fine?”

I was frozen in place, trying to think of the best way to fix this. But I drew a blank.

“Listen Frankie, if we’re going to have a relationship, we need to be able to have discussions,” she said with exaggerated patience. “We need to work through disagreements and consider each other’s views. And that also means that sometimes we will need to do things we’re not excited about, because that’s part of the deal when you’re a couple. I love you Frankie. I’minlove with you. But I don’t want to always be the grown-up in this relationship.”

“That’s not fair,” I protested. “It’s one event that I don’t want to go to.”

“It’s more than the event. You can’t talk about your real feelings. Ever. You don’t want to have conversations about anything bad. You completely shut down when you think there’s the slightest hint of conflict. I don’t know what all that’s about, but it’s not bringing your best self into this relationship.”

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