Page 76 of Enticing Monsters

No urgency.

Nothing through the wall of exhaustion that blankets me. I manage to shift, following the tugging and gagging noises Avril is making as she helps me shift to my knees.

Rapid footsteps make us both freeze in place, Avril trembling like a deer in headlights. I stumble over my own feet, barely able to keep myself upright, but I lift my head. If they’ve come back for me, I won’t just lie down and take it.

“Morningstar! Avril!” The man who steps from the shadows causes me to go limp in relief. Only his quick reflexes catch me before I hit the ground. “Ah, fuck,” my father curses, not stopping as he lifts me gently to cradle me in his arms. “I’ve got you both. You’re safe. I swear it. You’re safe now.”

He shuffles, scooping Avril up to rest her on his hip.

I must pass out, because the next thing I know are soft blankets and bright lights, neither doing anything to hide the hissing whispers.

“You need to calm down. They’re safe.” My mother’s voice is strained and tired as she whispers.

I can almost picture her rubbing at her temples the way she does when she gets annoyed.

“They were taken. Again!” My father chokes on a sob. “Morningstar is barely alive. If we’d been any later in finding them… I’ve lost one child already, Marianna. I never should have stayed here. They should be safe!”

“Being royalty isn’t always easy,” she tells him, her voice tight with tears. “I’d give anything to keep them safe. You know that. I’ve searched every minute since they’ve been gone.”

“And what good did it do?” His words are a roar now, but I don’t open my eyes. “Look at what they’ve done to him!”

“It’s not like he can feel it!” she snaps back, and he snarls. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she hurries to correct herself.

“They beat him. Starved him. They tortured him, Marianna. For weeks. His entire wrist is shattered. God knows when they would have gotten to Avril.”

Probably never… They’d been too fascinated at the idea of making me scream. It only took them minutes to figure out I couldn’t feel pain, and I became a shiny new toy. Any type of abuse they could think of, they inflicted on me, reveling in the tears I shed from shame and disgust, though never from pain.

“The healers have seen to him, and they assure me he’s as good as new,” my mother soothes. “He never felt a thing they did. I’m more worried about Avril. Even without the torture, they starved her as well, and unlike her brother, she can feel it.”

“Let me take them away from here. Away from all of this.” The plea in his voice makes it waver, and I bite hard on my bottom lip to stop it from quivering in response. “Away from politics and secrets and all of this hate.”

“And what… Not have my family together? It’s not like bad things don’t happen to people who aren’t royalty, Leo. Humans aren’t the only ones who have monsters hidden. I killed this group. I hunted everyone down. There’s no reason we can’t all stay together. I want my family with me. I want him to grow up with us, with the skills and knowledge he needs to be a part of this world. Treating him as a human won’t do any good when his powers come in, and you know he needs the healers constantly with his lack of control.”

“I don’t care. I won’t keep exposing them to this. They’ve been hurt too many times. I’ve stayed for you. We all have. But I won’t wait until they’re nearly dead again.” His hands are gentle as they scoop me up, as his lips press to my hair and tears land on my skin.

“I’ll protect you,” he whispers despite believing I’m still asleep, the promise made more to himself than to me, though I let it sink into me, something to hold on to when, undoubtedly, the monsters arrive again.

I force the memory away, trying to slam it in the iron cage where I’ve kept them for all of these years, but it does me no good. The pain drags them all forward, knocking down the barriers I’ve used to protect my mind over the years. I don’t want these memories back again. I don’t want to deal with how I felt then. Before I learned to shut down, to separate myself, to give in to the differences inside of me.

That frightened little boy isn’t me. He’s something I forgot and will never let myself return to.

I am Death Incarnate.

I am the Angel.

I am…

Dying.

That’s what this darkness is. The brief window of sanity brought a new wave of agony to me, one that I have no way to prevent. If I’m dying, my mate would be on this Earth without me. She’d have to face all of the darkness here without me by her side. Yes, she has her other mates, and my kitten is strong, far stronger than I’ll ever be. But she’s my reward, my one soft, bright spot in a world full of shadows and sharp edges.

“Serafina!” I may have whispered her name. I may have screamed it. I may not have made a sound.

I’m trapped too deeply inside of myself to know for certain.

I feel another wall inside of my mind shatter, another memory dragging me down, no matter how hard I fight it. I’ve heard people talk about the tunnel they’ve seen at the end, but this… This is so much different. There’s no light or peace calling to me, no happy flashes of holidays or my mate’s sweet face.

Just an endless darkness, reliving the dark moments that forged my soul into the fractured mess it is today.

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