Page 33 of Fire Bound

“Like what?”

“Like you want me.”

His eyes collide with mine with such intensity that my chest tightens and my stomach clenches. “There are a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t want you and why being near you is a mistake. A thousand reasons why I should walk away right now and never look back. Despite those reasons and all common sense, I’ll never stop wanting you, Remington. So, I’m sorry I can’t stop looking at you like that.”

My heart pounds against my chest so hard it hurts. Girls dream of the day that a boy will tell them pretty words like this. They should fill me with joy and heal my broken heart, but they only cause more damage. The boy with the pretty words isn’t one that I can have and his saying this only makes that fact hurt more.

Every fiber in my being wants to go to him, to yank his clothes from his body until he stands naked like me. I want to touch him and kiss him until his body heat becomes my own. I want his touch to heal the jagged edges of my soul. I want to allow myself to feel happy that he’s alive without feeling the soul crushing guilt that follows quickly after. I want to look into those violet eyes and not see the devastatingly dark ones I sacrificed in their place. I want to feel at peace with the choice I made but don’t think I ever will.

My eyes squeeze shut and my hands ball into fists at my sides. I take a slow breath in, forcing my defenses against my feelings for Jax back up. “You have to stop saying things like that to me. It’s not fair,” I plead. “Stop playing with my feelings like they’re a toy put there for your amusement. We both know nothing has changed or will change.”

Like star-crossed lovers, we are simply not meant to be. We’re our own biggest obstacles and neither one of us is budging.

Before he can say anything that will only make it worse, I say, “Let’s go. I want to get this over with so I can figure out where I’m sleeping tonight.” There is no way in hell I’m spending the night at my parents’. I will sleep in my wolf form under a tree in the woods before I do that. “Keep up, hellhound.”

Crouching, I call upon the shift. In the span of seconds, my smooth skin melts away and it’s replaced with dense silver and white fur. Shaking out my coat, I flex my paws in the dirt below. Living in the hotel means I’m not able to shift as often as I’d like. My wolf is ecstatic to be let out, even if it’s only for a short while.

Jax stalks closer, his hand extends like he’s about to brush his fingers over my coat, but my snapping teeth halt him. Just in time, he pulls his limb back before I sink my canines into his flesh. “Even in this form, you’re feisty.”

Chuffing out an unamused breath, I jerk my head in the direction of the house.

“Race you there,” he responds before taking off in a sprint. Even in his human form, he’s fast. There was clearly no reason for me to believe he couldn’t keep up with me.

I follow after him, pushing my body to the limit because there is no way I’m going to let him beat me.

In a living roomI’ve known my whole life, everyone stands around talking about what we should do to better protect ourselves against Sterling. We’ve already upped security and patrols. New security equipment has been placed all over pack territory. Motion sensor cameras now sit up in trees every few miles and people in the pack take turns watching the live feeds.

“We need to get another camera for the east fence,” Ryker suddenly announces, causing me to perk up in the seat I’d been slouched in. The whole discussion bored me, everyone thinks they have a better plan or idea. At one point I felt like we were talking in circles. I’m dirty, tired and hungry. And I’m tired of blatantly ignoring the glances my mother keeps shooting my way. I’m still mad at her. “The wires were bent again. I thought it was a deer, but now I’m not sure.”

“East side?” Ranger asks. “The one by the pack cemetery?”

Ryker nods. “It’s not far from there.”

Crap.

Looking up from my lap, I anxiously glance around the room. When my eyes connect with a pair of two-toned ones, I freeze in place. Winslow stares at me with her highly perceptive gaze. Her ability to sense things isn’t always limited to just ghosts. She can justsensethings about people without spoken words.

Afraid if she looks at me too long, she’ll be able to sense all my secrets, I jump from the cushioned chair, announcing, “I’m getting a snack.” I leave the room before anyone can stop me.

Once in the safety of the kitchen, I release a worried breath. Not until my head is in the fridge, my hand digging through the produce drawer for an apple do I hear her walk into the room.

Without a word, she sits on one of the kitchen island barstools. “I like to go visit the cemetery. Especially after Addison and Noah were buried there. I like to go make sure that their graves are well kept and neat. While I’m there, I tidy up the other graves.”

Around a mouthful of apple, I say, “That’s very nice of you.”

“I know they’re at peace somewhere else, but I still like to go by and say hi when I have time,” Winnie continues. “It’s weird though. There are usually some weeds and leaves that need to be cleared from all the graves. All but one that is.” Those eyes of hers peer into me once again from under the thick fringe of her bangs. “Gage’s headstone is always pristine. Like someone was caring for it. At first, I thought it was one of his family members, but Ranger reminded me recently that Gage’s family belongs to a different pack in Wyoming.”

I swallow hard and wait for her to tell me she knows.

“How often do you visit Gage’s grave?”

I could lie and tell her that she’s wrong, but what’s the point. She already figured it out. “I used to go every night when I was still living here.” I would get out of bed, shove my feet in whatever shoes were nearby and walk the two miles from the house to the grave. Doesn’t matter if it was the dead of winter with a foot of snow on the ground, I would make the trek out there. “And then when I left home a month ago, I started sneaking back every few nights. I figured out that spot on the east fence didn’t have a camera and I cut back the wires so I could slip inside.” I snuck in because if I came in the front gates, whoever was watching the camera feeds would see me and then alert my family I was back. And that was who I was trying to avoid.

Winslow nods in understanding. “What do you do when you visit him?”

My breath shutters as I tell her honestly, “I beg for his forgiveness.”

“Why would you need his forgiveness?”