Page 1 of Fire Bound

Iwas a happy person.

And I mean that. I’m not lying like so many others do when they slap a fake smile on their face and swear up and down their lives are great. I wastrulyhappy. You know the old adage of the grass is always greener? My grass was the greenest.

Don’t you get your panties in a twist, I’m self-aware enough to realize that saying this makes me sound like a condescending bitch. Before you come for my head for boasting about my pretty grass and perfect life, I’ll warn you that life has already come for me. It came for me, knocking me on my ass and I haven’t been able to get back up since.

My grass isn’t so green, my smile isn’t as bright and I’m no longer seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.

I took a lot of things for granted before the universe decided to give me a swift reality check. One of those being the ability to dream. Before my world exploded and the jagged pieces of it rained down on me like sharp glitter, I used to look forward to going to sleep. Not because I was exhausted and my body needed the rest, no I looked forward to the places my dreams would take me. They were always so vivid, so real. I was never one of those people who forgot their dream when they woke up, I remembered each and every one of them. They were a lovely escape.

Now, I dread going to sleep because I know when I close my eyes at night, I won’t be met with the same kind of dreams I once had. Instead, I’m brought back to that moment that changed everything.

Do you know the exact moment when your life fell apart? Can you pinpoint the moment you knew nothing would ever be the same? Can you remember who stood next to you while it happened? Do you remember their face, their name?

I remember it all.

I remember every painful second as I stood there watching my world implode. I rememberhisface and the way his eyes stared into mine like he was looking into my newly broken, battered soul. I remember his name. I utter it like a curse now instead of the prayer it once was.

I remember it all and that is why I’m working so hard to forget.

Drinking away your pain isn’t an easy task when you’re a wolf shifter, our fast metabolisms mean the buzz from alcohol wears off fast. After three months of testing different methods and delivery systems, I’ve found the key to achieving a longer-lasting buzz. Large quantities in a short period of time. Not rocket science and it’s pretty easy, especially when you’re friends with the bartender.

Elsie lines up the shots in front of me, that grim look on her face firmly intact, just like it is every time I visit the club she works at. Which has become more frequent as of late. “I don’t know how you manage to do this without needing your stomach pumped. I would be hungover until next Christmas if I drank all this. You’re absolutely crazy.”

“I’m a lot of things but crazy isn’t one of them.” I scrunch my face in dislike. “I believe the term you’re looking for isoverachieverorexistential crisis, both are fitting in this instance.”

Elsie laughs softly, her short blonde hair moving around her face as she shakes her head at me. She can laugh because she thinks I’m struggling to deal with the stress of midterms because she still believes I’m enrolled in classes. She has no idea the kind of things my family and I have had to face in the past year and a half. Elsie’s poor human mind wouldn’t be able to comprehend if I told her.

I was born and raised in this world, and I hardly believe what my life has come to.

A big part of me envies her. I wish I could live blissfully unaware of the dangers lurking in the shadows and the monsters that really exist out there. I wish I didn’t know that sooner or later the biggest monster of them all is going to be showing up at our doorstep demanding our blood as payment for the monkey wrenches we’ve thrown into his plans.

“What are we drinking to tonight?” Elsie asks, picking up one of the shot glasses. She’s not supposed to drink on the job, but she always makes an exception for me and has one with me.

I think it over for a minute, pondering the plethora of choices, finally I settle on, “To the boys that break our hearts and ruin our dreams.”

My dreams take me back to the darkest moment, but they’ve also been infiltrated byhim. He’s the one person I want nothing to do with, but even in my dreams, I can’t escape Jax Whitlock.

The burn of the alcohol running down my throat is welcome. Sometimes pain is the perfect distraction.

Just like it’sdifficult for a wolf shifter to actually become drunk, it’s very difficult and rare for us to have a hangover.

Difficult but not impossible. What I’m experiencing right now is proof of that. The humming from the heater is almost too loud for my sensitive ears and pounding head to handle. The thin stream of late morning light coming from behind the partially open blackout curtains makes my corneas burn. If I had the energy, I’d get up and shut the damn things, but I’ve elected to lie here and wallow in the pain a little while longer.

Last night is a little bit of a blur. After consuming the copious amounts of tequila shots Elise graciously provided me, it gets a little fuzzy. The faint memories of loud electronic music, flashing lights, and a mix of sweaty memories are all that I can recall at this time. That’s probably for the best. No one needs to remember exactly what they did when they were blacked out. Some memories are best left forgotten, there are just some things that don’t need to be replayed.

There is no reason to add to my embarrassing moment highlight reel. It’s already extensive. My moments of greatness—as I prefer to call them—have been multiplying in the past six months. Every step and decision I make, are solidifying my role as the family screwup.

That role used to belong to Ryker, my oldest brother, but since he discovered his long-lost mate is alive, he’s really gotten his shit together.What a fucking show-off. He used to get brought home in police cars after vandalizing buildings and beating the crap out of people. He even disappeared for five years, didn’t bother calling home once. Ryker would just send the occasional postcard to let us know he was still breathing. Now he’s part of the alpha pair, leading the pack with his mate Pruitt. He’s even going to be adadin a couple of months.

Hell, all three of my brothers are doing better than me now. All mated and blissfully happy with their women. It’s sick really how insanely in love they are with their mates. They always say you’ll never understand the intensity of a mating bond until it happens to you, but my brothers have completely changed since meeting their mates.

Ryker is less volatile. Sure, he still loses his ever-loving mind occasionally and turns into a total rage monster, but it’s happening less often. Especially since Pru is carrying his child. Ranger is no longer participating in underground cage fights and his dark gloomy cloud has dispersed since he found Winslow. Winnie is half brave and halfcrazy,a fun combo that keeps Ranger on his toes. And Ransom has finally stopped hiding parts of himself since Isabeau came into his life. Together they make a deadly pair, their bloodlust matching each other’s.

Meanwhile, I’m here… alone in this hotel room and slowly watching the remaining pieces of my life rot.

Or at least I thought I was alone. The footsteps that stop in front of my room tell me that my solitude is about to end. I send a silent prayer that they’ll go away, but the slow, methodical knocks ruin that dream.

I could ignore them, but it’s not an option because I know who’s out there. There is roughly thirty seconds on the clock before they break into the room. As it is, knocking was a courtesy.

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