Page 90 of Soul Bound

His eyes flutter closed and I panic. “Ranger, open your eyes!” I order. “You keep them on me, White Fang. You just focus on me.”

They open again, but his vision isn’t focused as he looks up at me. “I’ll be with you even after death… I’ll still be with you,” he vows.

The idea of seeing Ranger as a spirit makes my vision tilt and my stomach roll with nausea. I imagine him looking like Thalia, with pale, cloudy eyes instead of his bright blue ones. He would be forever covered in the blood he’s soaked in now, forever wearing his torn suit. I would be able to see him, but I would never be able to touch him again. I would never be able to feel the electrical current that runs through me when his fingers touch my skin.

I didn’t realize it until earlier, but my heart beats for him, and if his no longer beats in his chest, how Am I supposed to survive? How would I be able to carry on when he’s on the other side?

The answer is simple, I won’t survive it. I won’t survive losing him.

My broken, damaged heart will shatter, and I will disintegrate into nothing. I will cease to exist without him.

“Ranger, you can’t leave me, okay? You can’t leave me because I love you. You promised once you found your mate you would never let her go. Don’t make me let you go,” I beg, but his breathing becomes shallow and his eyes close again. I shake him lightly, but he doesn’t move. “Ranger.Ranger, wake up!”

I press my ear to his chest, but it’s silent and still.

I break.

My heart—my soul—shatters into a million pieces that have no hope of ever being fixed without him. He’s the home I never had, the peace I desperately sought out, he’s the drug I never wanted to sober up from. He’s my everything, and I just lost him.

I had him for that glorious fleeting moment and then he was gone.

A broken cry slips from my throat as I collapse over him. I bury my face in his chest and grip his shoulders as I sob over him. I’ve felt pain—the worst kind of physical pain, but none of it compares to this. This pain is soul-deep and the weight of it crushes me.

Images of him fill my head. The first time I met him, and he shifted into his wolf, the first time I ever saw him smile and I found out he has dimples, the first time we kissed, and he pressed me against the tree. I see it all. All of our moments replay in my head like a movie, but unlike other movies, I know how this one ends.

A hand grips my shoulder and I hear Jax speak but I don’t register his words. “Winslow, we have to go. More people could show up at any minute.”

“I’m not leaving him,” I choke out.

“I know honey, but we can’t stay here, and we can’t take him with us.” His voice is gentle, but his hand tightens on my shoulder.

I shove his hand off of me and turn to glare at him. “Then leave. Take Ella and go, but I’m not leaving him. He’smine, I can’t just leave him here alone.” Images of how Thalia was left come to mind.

“I’m not leaving you here alone, unprotected.”

“I’m not leaving.” I sniff.

All my life I’ve been surrounded by death and I’ve never once feared it, but I feel cold tendrils of fear wrap around me as I stare down at Ranger’s face. He’s pale and covered in blood. He doesn’t look like the Ranger I love and that scares me.

I rack my brain for a plan, but my head is chaos. Swarming still with memories of our time together. I focus on how he’s been there for me every step of the way as I learned about my past, or how he didn’t look at me any differently when he learned about my powers and gifts.

My powers…

I sit up straight quickly. “I have a plan,” I announce.

“What plan?” Jax asks.

“I’m going to bring him back.”

Jax eyes me warily. “Winslow, he’s gone. There’s nothing you or a doctor could do to save him.”

I clutch my bloodied hand to my chest. “But there is somethingIcan do, Jax. I’m part necromancer. I brought back a bird once.”

“Necromancers don’t exist anymore.” Jax shakes his head.

“I don’t have time to go into specifics with you Jax, just believe me when I say I’m part necromancer. I promise to tell you all about my fucked-up family tree another time. I’ve brought something back from the dead before, I can do it again.” I sound more confident than I feel. I don’t know how I brought Poe back, but I’m sure as hell going to try to do the same for my mate.

“Is this safe?”

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