Page 87 of Wolf Bound

“If doing this brings me closer to Sterling, then it will be all worth it.”

“Oh, okay, then.” I roll my eyes and immediately regret it when it causes excruciating pain to radiate from my sockets. “Whatever makes you sleep well at night, Jax.”

“You said you were willing to help,” Jax reminds me.

“Yeah, asshole, I meant I would try to find out more about Sterling from Nicolai,” I grunt. “Not that I was cool with the extra-strong dose of hellfire.”

“Volkov would have known if I hadn’t.” Jax slides down the doorjamb and joins me on the bathroom floor. “Your fangs and claws came out this time.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but that’s happened before.” I remember the first time they showed up after Esme’s ritual. That was the same night I gained the ability to talk to Ryker through the pack link. “Looks like your torture tricks don’t work on me.”

God, I miss hearing his voice in my head.

“I don’t know how much more hellfire I can infuse into your body before it kills you. I’ve already done twice as much as I usually do. Your wolf must really be bound.”

“No shit.” Feeling a little bit better, I push myself off the floor and transition into a sitting position. “A high priestess cast the spell that bound my wolf and wiped my memory. Apparently, she’s the strongest witch on this side of the country or something.”

“If she’s that strong, you’d think she’d be able to reverse the spell.”

“Yeah, one would think.”

We sit in silence for a while. Each of us lost in our own thoughts. Of course, mine wander to Ryker and how I left him behind. I wish I knew what he was doing right now—if he’s okay. I want to laugh at that. How could he possibly be okay? I’m sure as hell not okay.

“One of the last things I told him was I was going to be okay,” I say aloud before I can stop myself. Jax shoots me a confused look, and I sigh. “Before I left Ryker, I promised him I would be okay, but the hellfire isn’t working, and Nicolai isn’t going to be patient much longer. I’m starting to think I’m not going end up beingokay.”

“I don’t know what else to do to get your wolf out. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever used hellfire on—the amount I used on you tonight probably would have killed anyone else. But not you. It’s almost like your strength and power are working against you.”

“Of course, they are.” I lean my head back on the wall behind me. “Nothing about my life has ever been easy—so why should this be?”

Jax is quiet for a minute before finally speaking up. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, why not?” I shrug. “Not like I’m in a position that I can tell youno.”

“Why haven’t you cried since you’ve been here?” he asks. “Every other person who is trapped here usually cries for days before finally giving up, but you haven’t.”

“I told you before I’m exactly where I need to be. As long as I’m here, the people and the man I love are safe.” I pause for a second while I really think about his question. “Both of my parents where alphas of a pack, and now I’m technically the alpha of the same pack. My parents sacrificed themselves for their pack, and now I’m doing the same thing. I never had anyone but my aunt, and now I have an entire pack of people depending on me to protect them…” I trail off.

“I’ve always been on my own—my mom died when I was young.” I notice he swallows hard when he pauses like he’s fighting back emotion. “I don’t know what it’s like to have someone other than myself to depend on or care about. Then again, that might be the demon in me speaking—we are known for our lack of humanity and empathy.”

“You’re not just demon, Jax,” I sigh. “That’s a small part ofwhatyou are, but it’s notwhoyou are. You’re your mother’s son—and from what I’ve seen, I believe you are a lot more like her than you think.”

“I don’t remember much about her, but I remember at night she would sing me to sleep. She had such a beautiful voice…” Jax looks away, trying to hide the pain in his eyes, but it’s pointless since I hear it in his voice, although I don’t tell him that. He’s had to be strong all his life. I’m sure showing weakness is not easy for him.

He takes a minute before looking back at me, his violet eyes clear of any signs of distress. I’m actually amazed at his ability to hide it. “I bet you’re famished,” he says. “Do you want something to eat?”

“Seriously?” I sit up straighter and look at him, confused.

“I mean, I probably can’t score you a steak dinner, but I can bring you back a little something.” Jax pulls himself to his feet and offers me a hand. I reach up, and he helps me rise. My bones and muscles groan in protest, and I sway on my feet for a second before I finally find my balance again.

“I’m actually starving,” I admit, my stomach growling in agreement. “But don’t bring me anything if it will get you in trouble.”

“Nicolai will never know I left.” Jax’s eyes gleam, and he takes a step back from me.

“How are you going—”

One second, Jax is standing in front of me, the next he’s gone in a cloud of black smoke. I look around the room and don’t find him anywhere. It reminds me of a bad magic show, but this time I think it reallyismagic. When the smell of that black smoke hits me, it all begins to click. When I first met Jax, I smelled smoke. He must have done this then as well.

That’s so cool!

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