Page 63 of Fated or Knot

I hummed. The alphas seemed to have stronger noses than me, but I doubted “cold” was such a distinct smell.

“Hey, Tormund,” I said tentatively.

“Aye?”

“I, um. I didn’t know you were a redcap.”

Any happiness at the proximity of Serian’s smell vanished from his expression. “I am so sorry you saw that part of me,” he murmured.

“It’s not—” I cut myself off, shaking my head. He’d been asking for forgiveness since I’d had my feral moment, and I’d failed to acknowledge it. “You don’t have to apologize for who you are. It was just…a lot.”

“Sorry,” he said again.

I lifted a finger to rest over his lips. “And unexpected. If it hadn’t happened, were you planning on telling me you’re a redcap?”

He didn’t reply until I took my finger off his lips. “Eventually. I wanted you toknowme first.” His mouth twisted into a troubled knot. “My brothers agreed to let me be the one to tell you. And I did in the worst way possible. Just say ‘redcap,’ and watch others go pale. We have a reputation, especially alpha redcaps. Other omegas… Most of them are afraid of me. They know what I am on sight. Or worse, they know me as the son of Theodred the Blood King, the queen’s protector and Serian’s executioner.”

My throat clicked with a dry swallow.

“That is his role, and he worked hard to make his name equal fear in those who deserve it. He’s only lost control of his rageonce. Meanwhile, I can’t get a hold of mine. My brothers have to restrain me each time,” he muttered miserably. “I was trained to be your comfort, to help you keep a household and manage a nation. Mother wanted to prove a point. By raising me as the future queen’s comfort, she tried to show that redcaps deserve to be treated like any other fae. That we can choose a life other than delivering bloodshed and death.”

“Tormund.” I waited until he squinted down at me. “You would be terrible at delivering bloodshed and death.”

His squint only became more pronounced. “What?”

“You are a generous, snuggly bear of a male,andyou need to wear your spectacles more. You hold most things way too close to your face,” I said, happy to see a little smile tugging at his mouth.

“I do not! I see just fine,” he protested.

“The spectacles are really cute,” I added.

“Fine…I’ll wear them for you,” he hedged. “Just to see your face better. That’s all.”

“You’re a sweet male. I’d say your mother proved her point already. You just needed someone able to calm your rages.” Oh, stars, I was about to say the m-word. It seemed to be on everyone’s lips lately except for mine. I barely wanted to acknowledge something when I still didn’t know if I could keep it. “Your mate.”

He gave me a squeeze. “My mate,” he echoed in agreement, his expression softening. His shoulders fell as if he’d dropped a heavy weight off them. Hopefully that was his lingering guilt and self-hate tumbling into the sea below. “May I kiss you?”

My breath caught with excitement. After two kisses with two separate males had tumbled out of control, one would think I’dbe worried this would be the same, but I loved kisses too much to hesitate. “Yes.”

“And…” He scuffed his foot, glancing away for a moment. “I know I am not a beautiful male like Fal or Kauz. But I would give you pleasure any time you asked, li’l bird. Don’t forget I was built for…ah. For all your needs.”

Heat rose in my cheeks. Stars, I wish I could show him that I wanted him just as badly as I wanted his brothers. “I will ask, I promise. But just a kiss for now. We should stop there,” I said.

“Ach. Of course. I’m honorable,” he promised. I leaned up, and he cupped my cheek, the two of us meeting in the middle.

His beard and mustache were scratchy against my face, but I didn’t dislike the rougher texture of his kiss. Not when he tasted like dessert, caramelized sugar with its sweetness cut by a satisfying edge of char. We made identical hums of enjoyment.

His big hands were gentle as he held me aloft one-armed, my face cradled in a broad palm, while his mouth moved like he could devour me. Our tongues tangled, and his fangs didn’t so much as graze my lips. All the while, he purred, coaxing the same from me until we vibrated together in harmony.

When the kiss faded, he held me close enough that he didn’t have to squint to look at me. His freckled face wore a look of such genuine joy that I had to return it, and his grey eyes took in my expression and kiss-swollen lips with an intensity that showed he had to be committing this moment to memory.

Stars, I was doing the same thing. Falling more for this sweetheart, too, while I was at it.

“Hey, Tormund?” I said, feeling my belly rumble. “Think you could take me to the dining car?”

“Of course. I’d be happy to feed you,” he declared.

When we returned to the room a while later, I was absolutely stuffed. Tormund had bought the train out of its last triple berry cookies, as they were running low on certain food items this late in the trip. Since he insisted, he carried me, and I held the half dozen cookies in their little paper wrapper.

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