Page 176 of Fated or Knot

I jotted down countless ideas as the hours passed, plotting them to their inevitable ends. Unfortunately, nothing I came up with made a lick of fucking sense after a few steps. The rut was cooking my logic and there was little I could do about it.

A whole flock of beta mothkin took care of us, making sure we were fed and as comfortable as could be expected. I recognized my pair of chipper males, and the two females were Lark’s handmaidens…and those two were Tormund’s…

All of our house moths had moved to serve us in our mate’s quarters. I took a break from fruitless plotting to go rummagingaround in the bedroom in front of the nest. A portion of all of our things had been moved too, including our collection of random trophies and plaques that we passed back and forth for competitions we’d invented. Most of them belonged to Tormund right now. They’d been placed next to a basket full of Kauz’s random magical trinkets. I wasn’t sure he knew how to use half of those.

At either end of the dresser was part of my rock collection and Marius’s seashells. We both had a habit of picking up things during our leisure time, and we were products of our races. He collected the remnants of sea bugs—that was where shells came from, I assumed—and I took shiny things off the ground.

It reminded me that I’d picked up something for him while spelunking for the perfect crystal to present to Lark. I went to my old quarters to retrieve it and the rest of my rocks. Might as well covet my uncut gemstones for a while and arrange them in the right order, because I wasn’t going to get anything else done today.

Marius had stopped pacing at some point, so he didn’t catch me slipping the tiny spiral shell fossil in with his former sea bugs. I didn’t pay his absence much mind until I had my rocks back in proper order. Checking the pack bond, I noticed he was…passed out.Finally.There was hope his rut would end soon.

He’d constructed a mini nest for himself on the divan in Lark’s nest, cocooned in a few random blankets and her favorite fur-lined cloak. He had the right idea. I dismissed the house moths and crawled into the nest’s bed, settling a few layers down where her scent was still present.

My mouth watered as I drifted off with my mate dominating my every sense. I expected to see a shade of her in my dreams, to revisit the bliss of joining with her. We’d only had the one time so far, but I drifted off to it nightly. That perfect pussy moldingto fit me and squeezing my knot just right…fuck, I needed her back so badly.

My dreams were uneasy, a heated tangle of my memories of her meeting erotic fantasies of everything we’d do when she returned, and was finallymine. So intoxicated by her, it was all the more jarring when I had an unwanted visitor in my mind. As I’d been trained from boyhood when I sensed someone trying to weasel into my seemingly unguarded head, I abandoned my dreams, so all the dream warden saw was a blank void instead.

The occasional intruder tested my mind, trying to access crown secrets. Hoping I wasn’t trained to recognize a dream warden, probably. I was particularly angry about the timing of this intruder’s interruption and began to imagine them trapped with one of the simplest, yet worst childhood punishments my father inflicted on me:the metronome. A few hours with nothing but the rhythmictick tick tick tick tickof the device drove me mad.

That was before I caught a glimpse of the “intruder” wandering the darkness of my abandoned dream. “Fal?” Lark called. The real Lark, unmistakable by her pixie outline and delicate, ethereal beauty.

I wouldn’t say I understood how dreams worked, but I realized my mistake a moment too late and ended up following her into the memory of a punishment, crisp with remembered details. The gouge marks I’d clawed into the battered table and uncomfortable wooden chair were as prominent as ever. Somewhere out of sight, a metronome my father set to play at an awkwardly fast tempo ticked away.

My hands balled into fists. That sound was still maddening, and I’d nearly trapped Lark with it. I tried waving it away, then thought with force,fucking stop.And, what do you know, the sound stopped, giving way to blessed silence.

My mate’s expressive blue eyes roved over the tiny room and the evidence of the effectiveness of my childhood torture, before her gaze landed on me. Her pupils resized as they focused and she broke into a beaming smile. “Hi, Fal!”

It was like the sun came out. She was the sun, of course, heating my insides and igniting the kindling of lust hiding just under my skin. Her scent hit me with the force of a punch to the gut: extra sweet and concentrated as we lingered in this tiny room together.

I sank my claws into the meat of my palms.Focus. You are still in control.

“Hello,mo stór,” I purred. My need made my voice huskier than usual. “You’ve come to visit me, hmm?”

“I’ve missed you.” The trust and love that gleamed in her open expression just about crushed the breath out of my lungs. My chest ached with its echo.

I didn’t think she realized the musical pitch underlying everything she said, or how much I wanted to hear her sing in truth. Her abuser may have stolen her voice for a time, but her pack had returned it. Now she just needed the words.

And I needed to get her out of this room, before I succumbed to my instincts and bent her over the table. She tested the fraying threads of my self-control by coming forward for a hug and leaning up expecting a kiss.

If I met her lips with mine, I knew I’d snap. I caught her slight form and tilted my head, letting her lips skim my neck in an electric brush. My fangs sank into my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and the pain helped clear my head. I held her to my chest, trying to ignore how perfectly she fit against me.

She inhaled and mewled with need. “Stars. You’re in rut, aren’t you?”

“I’ve missed you too,” I said, rather than answer the question and admit how close I was to losing myself to my alpha instincts.“You know, when you were first learning how to visit the dreams of others, I prepared a reward for you if you chose to visit me. Would you like it now?” Nuzzling into her hair, I drew out a shiver from her as my breath washed over her pointed ear.

“What is it?”

“Hmm. A surprise, and technically a reward for us both.”

She hesitated. “I mean… will you remember this dream tomorrow?”

“Bits and snatches, like any other dream.” I would know I’d held the real her, no matter what. The reward would be good for her, like experiencing her first nixie night. I should be a responsible pack lead and tell her that.

Lark drew away from me as she said, “I love surprises.”

I smiled wickedly, saying, “Good omega.” I let a bit of my alpha’s authority thread through the words, just to see her flush that delectable shade of pink.

I offered her my hand with a flourish and focused my mind on changing our surroundings. As she put her delicate fingers in mine, I tugged her deeper into my memories.

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