Page 5 of Looking Grimm

The pain of loss resonated as an ache that settled in my chest and stayed there. Hell, it lived there now, filling up the absence. A part of me was gone, the last shred of family I’d so desperately clung to while trying to prevent the reality I faced now. On my own.

Briggs spoke again. “I would like nothing more than torid this city of that band of brutes. Maximus seems to think a direct attack would yield too great of a loss. He calls it prudence; I think it’s cowardice. But for an undertaking like that, you would need the full force of the Investigative Department—”

“The investigators don’t have what it takes,” I said. “Trust me.”

He didn’t argue, just watched me with intrigue as he asked, “What do you think it takes?”

Killer instinct. Or, in the absence of instinct, conditioning. It would take someone who wasn’t bound by the law or the need to see justice served by conventional means. Cops and wannabe heroes didn’t fit the bill. Taking down the Bloody Hex required the flexible morality and self-reliance of…

“A villain,” I said.

“But you aren’t that anymore,” Briggs said. “You don’t have to be.”

I gave the bottle I held a swirl, then watched the liquid inside tunnel down. “It’s the role I play best. Everyone seems to agree.”

“I don’t.”

It was an objectively stupid opinion. And an ignorant one, besides.

“You saved lives, Fitch,” Briggs protested. “Mylife. Nancy’s life—”

“And Itookthree times as many,” I replied. “I’m ‘one of the most prolific killers in modern history.’” That quote came directly from the radio broadcast that went out to the public while I was in prison. I’d been proud of the fact then, wanting to share it with Grimm to prove my worth. I’d spenttoo long trying to please him. Too long believing I could.

Briggs shifted on his barstool, unnerved by my honesty as I tagged on, “I’ve got a hell of a resume, and I think that makes me the right man for the job.”

“What do you need?” Briggs asked.

I needed resources. Put traffic cam Felix on the case to track cars and give me addresses. A few of those antimagic collars would level the playing field of me against all the Bloody Hex could throw my way. I was relatively certain I could make quick work of the new recruits, though even that was a numbers game. Picking them off seemed the best approach, working my way up the food chain until I reached Vinton, Avery, and Grimm.

Apprehension crept in, worry that I would start something I couldn’t finish and leave havoc in my wake. I didn’t mind dying, but I didn’t want to make a bad situation worse.

“Just point me in the right direction,” I said at length. “You point, and I’ll shoot.” I aimed a finger gun down the bar at a distant nothing and pulled the imaginary trigger. “Sic ‘em, boy.”

I’m not an attack dog.

I used to believe that. Now, I wasn’t sure.

Briggs frowned. “Vigilante justice, then?”

Nodding, I set the liquor bottle on the counter. “With a dash of the Capitol’s aid.”

From his suit coat pocket, Briggs produced a slim, silver case. He took out a slick, black business card nearly identical to the one I’d received from Holland months earlier. “Make a list of what you need.” He slid the card across the bar. “I’ll see what I can do.”

I snatched it up, less eager and more afraid I would change my mind. No sooner did I have it tucked away than did Briggs swing his leg around the barstool and stand. He offered his hand for another shake, and I grasped it firmly.

“Take care of yourself,” he told me.

If only he knew how abysmally bad I was at that.

I watched him go, then took another swig of liquor and wiped my arm across my mouth.

Nash walked up beside me and rested his recipe book on the counter.

“I don’t think you’re a villain,” he said. “For whatever that’s worth.”

“Should’ve known you were listening,” I said with a deflating sigh. “Nosey fucker.”

He stepped closer and rested his hand atop mine. The touch sparked longing in me. Our friends-with-benefits arrangement had been downgraded to platonic roommate status since Donovan’s death. More specifically, since I came onto Nash in the shower having just finished scrubbing my brother’s blood off my skin, and he turned me down.

---