Page 39 of Gathered Sparkle

“Ric,” Sylus cuts through the spiraling chaos. “You didn’t, okay? You’re okay.”

“I can’t—” My breath hitches, my hands clutching at my knees as I try to hold myself together. “I can’t, Sy. I—”

“What do you need, bro?” Sylus asks calmly. “Do you want me to go?”

“I—” My throat tightens as I try to form the words. “I don’t know. I… I feel like this isn’t real. LikeI’mnot real.”

Sylus kneels closer, his hand reaching out to rest lightly on my wrist. “How does that feel? Better or worse?”

I focus on the warmth of his touch, the grounding weight of his palm. It’s the only thing that feels real right now, aside from Jinx’s soft, steady purring in my lap. My breathing slows a little. “Better.”

Sylus moves his hand up to my forearm. “And now? Better or worse?”

I close my eyes, focusing on the sensation, letting it tether me to the present. The warmth, the solidity—it cuts through the fog. “Better,” I whisper. “Real.”

“You are real. You’re here.” He nods when I open my eyes and carefully lifts Jinx from my lap, setting her on the floor. Then he stands, reaching down to grab my hand. “Come on,” he commands. “Up.”

I let him pull me to my feet, my legs shaky beneath me. Sylus places both hands on my shoulders, holding me in place, eyes meeting mine.

“How does that feel?”

He’s reaching a hand into the sea of chaos and anxiety I’m drowning in—just like he always has. Careful, waiting, supporting. I’m not alone in this storm, and I can let myself break because Sylus is here to keep me upright.

And God, I need to break. I’m already falling apart, and I can’t stop it anymore.

I pull him close, my arms wrapping around him tightly as I bury my face in his shoulder. The sobs come before I can stop them, shaking my entire body as I cling to him like he’s the only thing keeping me tethered to reality.

Sylus freezes, his entire body going still. I know it’s a shock. He probably never expected me to willingly let anyone touch me, let aloneneedto be held. But I can’t stop. I need him right now. He’s the only thing anchoring me to reality.

After a moment, I feel his arms come around me, tentative at first, then stronger. He holds me loosely, careful not to spook me. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re both alive, man. The rest, we’ll figure out. I promise.”

His words break something loose inside me, and the sobs come harder, my grip on him tightening as my knees threaten to buckle. I can’t keep upright anymore, and Sylus must notice because he shifts his hold. “Come on,” he says, guiding me toward the bed. “Lie down.”

I collapse onto the mattress, trembling. Before I can pull myself together, Sylus climbs onto the bed, lying down behind me. His arms wrap around me, pulling my back into his chest, holding me as if I’m a child.

He doesn’t say anything else. He simply lets me cry, and it’s all I didn’t know I needed. For the first time in what feels likeforever, I let myself fall apart completely, trusting that he’ll be there to catch the pieces.

The bed shifts as Jinx jumps up and curls up at my front. She settles in, her rhythmic purring coming back up. Slowly, the sobs begin to fade, my breaths evening out as the chaos inside me stills.

I would’ve never thought I could let anyone touch me again, not after everything. But here I am, pressed against Sylus, his arms holding me securely, Jinx nestled on my other side. And somehow, right now, someone’s touch isn’t a reminder of how broken I’ve become.

It’s… safe.

Sylus managed to slip past the walls I built. Not by force or demanding anything of me, but with persistence and patience. He didn’t try to break them down. He just waited, chipping away a little at a time until I finally let him in until he was my best friend.

Maybe it could work with her too. Maybe she could help me feel whole again. Maybe I could try to be someone betterfor her.

Because she was my best friend first.

“You think she can fix me, Sy?

“I think she doesn’t care about fixing you. I think she just wants you. Whatever version of you exists now, she’ll take it.”

“And what if the new version of me isn’t worthy of her?”

“Give her the chance to decide, Ric.” Sylus shifts behind me. “Don’t make that choice for her.”

I let out a long, shaky breath. The thought of facing her or letting her see the shattered pieces of me is terrifying. But the thought of shutting her out again, of losing her for a second time…

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