Page 42 of Scattered Glitter

Oscar didn’t just save my life. He gave me a reason to want it back.

By the time he died, I’d gotten to a point where I could go out and enjoy the world again, at least a little. As long as the guys were with me, I could step outside without the walls closing in. We’d go to bars or magic shows, even just wander around the Strip for hours. It wasn’t perfect. I still couldn’t stand being alone in a crowd and still caught myself checking every shadow for danger. But with them by my side, I could almost forget the fear. I could almost pretend I was normal.

Almost.

And then he was gone.

Now, I’m right back where I started, locked inside my head. Only this time, there’s no Oscar to drag me out of it.

It’s been months since I’ve left the house. Hell, I’m barely able to leave this room most days. The thought of stepping outside is enough to send my heart racing, my chest caving as if there’s a weight on it. This house has become a different kind of jail—a place I’ve built around myself, with walls just as high and unbreakable.

I don’t belong out there anymore.

Enjoying things.Living.

Not after all the ways I’ve failed.

Jinx doesn’t care. She’s not waiting for me to explain or justify why I can’t leave. She doesn’t care about my guilt, my fear, or how broken I feel. She’s hungry, and in her world, that’s reason enough to drag me out of my misery.

Her purring rumbles against my palm, and I chuckle despite everything. She’s fucking persistent. And right now, that’s the only thing keeping me from completely sinking.

“Fine.” I let out a long sigh, running a hand over her back. “You want your breakfast?”

Jinx slowly blinks, which I swear is her version of a yes.

I push myself up slowly, gritting my teeth as the dizziness washes over me again. Jinx hops off me to stretch lazily on the floor before padding to the door, looking back at me as if to say,Are you coming or what?

For a brief moment, the dread of going downstairs, leaving my room’s safety, stalls me. My heart pounds in my chest, and I feel the edges of panic creeping in.

It’s just downstairs.

Just a few steps, nothing more.

It might as well be a thousand miles.

Still, she waits for me, her green eyes steady.

Can’t let her down.

I turn and catch my reflection from the darkened screen of my laptop, a ghost of who I used to be. The man lookingback at me is a stranger, haunted by shadows and regrets I can’t outrun.

I pull on a black T-shirt that barely skims my skin, hanging a little loosely on me now. I know I have to get back to a routine, a schedule—work out, eat, andhelp Koen and Levi with whatever schemes they have going on. Oscar didn’t pull me out of prison and give me a purpose, only for me to fall back into my hole three years later.

He saw something in me and believed in me when no one else did.

Except he’s gone now.

Because of the plan I’d made.

And I’m left adrift, wondering if I still belong in this fucking house as part of the chaotic family Oscar built.

My gaze returns to Jinx still sitting patiently next to the door.

“Fine, I’m coming,” I grumble, my head spinning even worse as I stand and wince.I’m starving. I haven’t eaten in two days, and it shows.

My body aches with a hunger that’s more than physical. Still, eating is too much effort, like I don’t deserve even that small comfort.

Dragging a hand through my messy hair, which I’ve neglected so badly that it barely looks blond anymore, I shuffle after Jinx.

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