Page 185 of Scattered Glitter

“The last girlfriend I had, it was… maybe three years ago?” He nuzzles my neck. “She was with me for the fame, but I didn’t see it at first. Hell, I didn’t want to see it. She loved the money and the attention Levi and I brought her. Always wanted to go out, be seen, live in the spotlight, make sure every move was caught by the paparazzi.”

He huffs against my neck, eliciting goose bumps to creep down my spine. “I guess I was too blinded by everything to see it. I thought… I thought I was in love. Eventually, it became clear that she didn’t give a damn about me.

“One night, my hearing aid started acting up.” He starts hurriedly as if trying to get through the story quickly. “I was in the middle of a crowded event, and everything suddenly went quiet, like a wall of sound dropped. I went to find her,told her I needed help getting somewhere quieter, that I couldn’t hear a thing. It wasn’t bad, but… I fucking panicked. And she… she left me there like I was some inconvenience. Made up some excuse I couldn’t hear and disappeared into the crowd.”

“Fucking bitch,” I mutter, making him laugh.

“That was the moment I realized what she was in it for. She didn’t care about me, not really. It was all about the perks, the lifestyle. And when I ended things, she threatened to go to the media with everything she knew. I ended up paying her off to keep her quiet.” The bitterness in his tone is unmistakable. “It’s… hard to know who to trust after that, you know? Something like that teaches you not to let people in.”

I hum in sympathy and understanding. “I’ve learned the same.”

“Yet here we are.” He presses the softest of kisses to the place where my neck meets my shoulder. “Friends,after all.”

Friends.

With Koen’s arms wrapped around me and the pieces of ourselves we’ve shared settling between us, something shifts inside me. Something similar to safety that I’ve never allowed myself to feel. It’s dark and quiet, but here, in the shelter of his arms, I feel my confession rising, aching to be let out, to be released.

With all my courage gathered and a shaky breath, I say, “I… I lost my twin sister.”

He stiffens in surprise. “You’re a twin too?”

“And my boyfriend,” I continue. “They… they both died in a car crash. And it was all my fault, Koen.”

His arms tighten around me, but he says nothing this time, instead silently encouraging me to go on, to let it out. So I do. “I stole a car that night,” I admit, each word heavywith the weight of years of guilt, shame, and grief. “A fucking Mustang.” I huff. “And then I… I urged him to go faster, to…” My voice starts to shake, and a tear slips down my cheek as I whisper, “To speed away from the police.” I swallow against the ragged knot in my throat before confessing, even more quietly, more brokenly, “All the while, my twin was in the back seat, begging us to stop.”

I’m hardly aware of Koen as he remains quiet behind me, barely registering his attempts to soothe me with a gentle stroke down my arm.

“We… we crashed. And they were both…” My voice breaks completely, and the dam inside me shatters. “They were both dead on impact. I… I survived. I didn’t deserve to.” Wracking sobs take over my body, and I crumble, my misery spilling out in a torrent of grief I can’t hold back.

Koen pulls me hard against him, almost making it difficult to breathe as if he’s trying to absorb my pain. His breath is warm against my ear as he whispers, almost a lullaby, “It wasn’t your fault, precious.”

“Eight years…” I gasp raggedly, “… eight years, and it still feels as though it just happened. I miss them every single day. It’s like… I’m barely holding on.”

He shifts me sideways onto his lap with ease, one hand coming up to cradle my cheek. “You’re notjustholding on,” he says firmly, his eyes locking onto mine. “You’re so damn brave.”

A bitter laugh escapes me. “You consider relying on alcohol and meaningless sex, brave? Because that’s what I’m doing, Koen. That’s how I get through each day. And you’ve taken one of those things away from me.”

He frowns, but his hand remains gentle, his thumb brushing lightly over my chin. “You’re here,” he says it with praise, his tone unwavering. “That’s not nothing. You’re surviving. Every single day, you’re fighting, even when itfeels like it’s just barely. That’s courage. I know how it feels when everyone you love dies around you. My mom, my sister, Uncle Oscar. I lived it. Living like this is hard when we’re the ones who are still here.”

That breaks something inside me, and another sob escapes, raw and unrestrained. He wraps me close, letting me sink into him as he guides me to lie half on top of him. The cocoon of his arms is steady as his hand moves in slow, comforting circles on my back as I cry. Gradually, the knot of grief and tension loosens enough for my sobs to soften, my breaths eventually falling in sync with his until all I’m left with is exhaustion.

As my tremors settle, he starts to shift away, pulling his arm back carefully, but I instinctively reach for him. “Can you stay? Please? I… I can’t be alone after… after thinking about them, talking about them.”

“Of course. I’ll stay as long as you need.”

Suddenly desperate to be comfortable, I slip off my leggings and hoodie, leaving myself in my T-shirt and panties, before I crawl under the covers. He hovers by the bed for a moment, looking almost lost, and I let out a sleepy yawn. “Get comfortable, Koen.”

He strips down to his T-shirt and boxers, then reaches up and removes his hearing aids, placing them carefully on the nightstand beside my bed. He gives me an almost vulnerable smile, and it hits me how much he’s continuing to let his guard down too. It wasn’t only in his words. He’s showing me something real through his actions.

He slips under the covers, settling beside me as he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close again.

Some adrenaline must have lingered from my emotional collapse because after several long moments of fidgeting, Koen commands, “Sleep.”

It’s barely a whisper, but it wraps around me like aweighted blanket. And even though there’s no hypnosis this time, no suggestion buried in his words, the safety he offers allows me to sink into it.

My eyes drift shut as I tune into the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beside me.

And before I even realize it, I’m drifting off, nestled securely in the quiet comfort of Koen Lane.

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