Page 160 of Scattered Glitter

When I was alone at home yesterday, I’d wanted so badly to tell Rosalee and Ace about what was happening, what I’d said yes to, and the crazy mess I was diving into. The absence of them cut deeper than anything else, the ache of knowing that the two people I would have confided in, who would have understood in their own ways, were gone. It left me feeling empty like I was screaming into a void.

I needed something, someone, to distract me from the grief that clung to me like a shadow. The weight of it made the pull of alcohol almost irresistible. Instead of reaching for the bottle, I reached out to Captain Bossy. And somehow, in the space of those few words, the dam broke. I let out things I hadn’t meant to say. One message turned into two, then more, and before I knew it, I was pouring myself out to him. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but the need for connection, for someone to hear me, overwhelmed the careful barriers I’d kept up for so long.

There was a rawness in his words that felt like looking in a mirror as if his pain was my own. It made my heart ache in ways I don’t want to think about.

Maybe I’ve let them all in a little too much already.

At least Ezra is still an asshole.

Nicholas steps forward, crouching down to talk to the smallest kid in the group, giving him pointers with an encouraging smile. The kid’s eyes light up as he nods, listening intently. He hops up on the step, glances back nervously, and then, with Nicholas’s hands carefully guiding him, launches into the backflip.

Only the kid twists unexpectedly in midair, and one of his feet accidentally clips Nicholas’s head, knocking his cap askew. Nicholas lets out a muffled “oof,” stepping back slightly but keeping his hands firm on the boy to ensure he still landed safely on his feet.

“Whoa, buddy,” Nicholas says with an exaggerated laugh, adjusting his cap. “You trying to knock me out?” His grin is wide, teasing, and the kid giggles, looking both guilty and delighted.

“You okay?” the boy asks.

Nicholas ruffles the kid’s hair. “I’ll survive, but you owe me one. Next time, aim for something other than my head.”

The kid giggles again, and I have to chuckle too.

God.

If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was crushing on this guy.

Maybe, in another life, I could let myself.

But not in this one. Not only because he’s the mark but because I’m lying through my teeth about who I am. And because someone like me could never be enough for him.

All I love ends up hurt.

Taking a deep breath, I push off the post. Nicholas spots me as I approach, and his whole face lights up, a grinspreading as he takes me in. “Hey, I almost thought you wouldn’t come,” he calls out.

“Of course I did,” I reply with a wave of my hand at the scene in front of me. “I had to see what you were bragging about.”

He glances at the gathered kids, then back to me, his smile growing as his eyes sweep over me again. “Glad you made it.”

“Are you now?” I fight my own grin.

“Yup,” he replies easily. “I didn’t bring any money for my coffee later.”

“Right.” I let out a laugh. “How could I forget?”

He shrugs in a casual, boyish way that makes him look like a mischievous teenager, although he has to be thirty, the same as the twins. “We’re practicing our backflips.”

I glance over at the kids who’ve turned to watch us, some of them grinning up at me. “I noticed,” I say, flashing them a smile and a wave. “You guys are amazing. I always wanted to do a backflip out of a stand, but I’d probably just knock my head open.”

Icanpull off flips on a pole, but I keep that little detail to myself.

“Really?” Nicholas grins. “Then let’s do it.”

I take a step back. “No, thank you.”

As if I’m trying to do a fucking backflip in front of him only to fall on my face.

“Oh?” His eyes glint with a challenge. “You’re scared?”

I cross my arms, giving him a once-over. “I mean, I haven’t seen you do any backflips either, so I guess you’re all talk.”

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