Page 67 of Until We Break

“See ya.” Josie disappeared behind the curtain, and I couldn’t shake how awkward things had turned between us.

I sat behind the wheel, windows down, still aware of how pungent the sour milk was. I put the car in reverse. It always felt as if everyone here knew each other’s secrets. I didn’t know how long I would have to be here to stop feeling like an outsider. As I steered toward the beach, I wondered if anyone who moved here ever stopped feeling like an outsider.

THIRTY-FOUR

Caleb

Three weeks. I wiped my eyes and reached for the coffee I had poured in Margot’s kitchen. I’d been driving from one end of the island every morning for three weeks. Three solid weeks of dinners and coffee in the morning. Three weeks of late nights, showers, and sex. I chuckled. There was a lot of shower sex too. I had to set my phone alarm extra early to allow for the time to get back on base before my shift began. It wasn’t like I had to deal with traffic, but I was used to rolling out of bed and walking from my room straight to the base marina and starting my cutter.

The hardest part was leaving her in bed. Her naked body draped by a single sheet. Her hair across the pillow. I’d slowly memorized everything about Margot, little by little. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until it seemed as if her movements and quirks had walked into my life like the warm sun in the morning coming up over the water. It was gradual. Natural. Warm. Beautiful. Knowing her was the easiest thing I’d ever done.

I’d noticed over the last few nights she had started writing in a notebook and closed it before she turned the lamp off. I wantedto ask if it was the beginning of another book. If she had a new book idea, she hadn’t told me. It was the one topic that was off limits. It was the one land mine I wasn’t willing to step on. But tonight, I was going to tell her I had finished her book—the one New York and LA didn’t want. I couldn’t wait to talk to her about it.

I pulled up to the gates on base and showed my ID. Tommy waved me in with a knowing look. He knew. They all knew. I hadn’t spent a night in my room in weeks.

I shook my head and drove to the parking spot outside my quarters. It was a mess inside. A space that was usually organized without a sock out of place, was a fucking preschool playroom. There was a pile of clean laundry on one side of the bed and a pile of dirty clothes on the floor. I needed to get my shit together whether I had a girlfriend or not.

I stopped. I swallowed hard.

Girlfriend? I took a breath. That’s what this was. I hadn’t said it to myself or to Margot. I tore through the clean T-shirts and found one a little less wrinkled than the others and put it on under my uniform. I was getting sloppy. My uniforms weren’t ironed. I’d mismatched socks. My boots weren’t polished.

Maybe I could convince Margot to spend one night here. Although, I didn’t know why she would want to watch me do laundry and shine boots.

I grabbed my cap and darted back out. I had five minutes until I needed to shove off for the day. I was barely making my patrol time as it was.

I loosened the knots and tossed the ropes on the bow. Gabe strolled up.

“I’ll get these,” he offered, looping the rope over the stern post.

“Thanks, man.”

“I haven’t seen you much.”

“I know. I’ve been with Margot and it’s just easier to stay over if we’re watching a movie or something.”

Gabe chuckled. “Or something.”

“When are you going out?” I asked.

“After lunch. I have paperwork to do. Thought I’d work out at the gym.”

He handed me the stern ropes. “Thanks.”

“Why don’t you bring Margot to the bonfire tonight?” he suggested. “The guys miss you around here.”

“I can’t tonight. We’ve got plans.”

“Doing the ‘or something’?”

I groaned. “No. I’m taking her out to dinner. I wanted to do something nice for her. It’s been hard with everything happening at the Blue Heron.”

“Has she decided what she’s going to do with that place?” It was the question everyone wanted answered. I’d heard the fishermen at Reel Time talking about it. Some of the guys at the coffee shop had mentioned it. I knew Dean Waters’s crowd was eyeing it for the real estate.

“No. It’s a big decision. A big undertaking if she keeps it.”

She had been working on compiling the budget for all the repairs needed to get the marina fully operational. Margot hadalso listed out what kind of advertising and marketing she needed to bring new customers to the Heron. The local traffic wasn’t enough to sustain it. For someone without a business background, I was impressed with how she had tackled the research. She was thorough. She talked to different vendors and demanded competitive pricing. I heard her on the phone yesterday talking to a vending company about adding ice and drink machines.

“I don’t ever remember that place being anything but a safety hazard. I wouldn’t dock there if I had to.”

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