Page 51 of Until We Break

“I promise. We don’t need to leave this bed.”

I believed him. It was easy to trust Caleb despite my track record with men. Despite the way doubt seemed to cloud the goodness that occasionally rolled into my life. Things hadn’t felt good or safe since my dad died. Ethan tossed me out. The book launch failed. I inherited a money pit. It was too much to comprehend. It felt like I was constantly treading water. Until now.

My breath was already ragged, and my core stirred by his words and strokes. I wanted him to make me forget that five minutes ago I was swimming in self-doubt. I had bounced over and under every scenario. I had created a narrative that would carry me out of his room and back to the Blue Heron, no strings attached. We weren’t even twelve hours into the newness of us and I was thinking of exit strategies. It was the last thing I wanted him to know.

I had a list of excuses. A list of faults. A list of red flags. I didn’t know which one of us needed to convince me that none of those lists meant anything. Someone was supposed to tell me I was coming up with reasons to be unhappy and sabotage the little bit of happiness I had found on Marshoak Island. Whose job was it to tell me to focus on the hot guy with his lips on my skin and forget about all the reasons I didn’t think I deserved him? That person who was supposed to guide me with foresight and insight was supposed to be me.

“Mmm,” I purred in his ear, moving my attention to Caleb and away from the doubts and insecurities I had stirred and lodged into my mind.

His thumb pressed against my knee, sweeping it aside, until I had rolled on my stomach. My hips danced and lifted with urgency. Needing him. Wanting him. I panted as we created friction. His chest rubbed over my back and down my backside, only to slide over my body again. Another pass and then another, until I was frantic for him to fill me. Take me. Fuck me.

He nipped behind my ear, kissing along my neck and spine. I hissed when his tongue drew circles in the dip of my lower back.

“Water spouts?” I could barely form words.

He growled in response, as unable to speak as I was. My hips pitched and rolled. With one long arm, he reached for a condom off the side of the table. My entire body longed for him. To feel the connection. To get lost in the way we tumbled in and out of waves. Orgasms. Heat.

Waiting felt impossible. I whimpered when he finally nudged the edge of his cock at my opening. I wanted to push forward on my knees, but Caleb’s forearm folded under my waist, lifting meoff the bed just enough that he plunged inside me, and I found bliss in an entirely new position. I gripped at the pillow before he dragged my palms together, enclosing them in one of his fists. He kissed the side of my mouth, my ear, the back of my neck. All the while, driving deeper, harder, slower, coaxing my hips to swirl and loop, back and forth, rolling with the movement of his hips.

“This is so fucking good,” I whispered.

I felt his smile across my cheek. “I think so. You feel fucking good.”

With more power and ease, he widened my knees and sank his swollen cock deeper as I offered him new angles, new ways to explore each other. His grunts became more robust. My breaths harder to contain. Every part of me was alive, tingling, open to pleasure, to him, to the lightning that had struck in his bed.

There was fervor and heat. A deliciousness in the way he commanded my body to come for him. He freed my hands only to reach between the sheets and my clit and begin to lavish it with strokes. One after another. I bucked. He thrust deeper. More strokes. And I pitched toward him, sucking him in harder.

“Oh fuck, Margot,” he groaned.

The last circle, the one that made my clit feel like a tornado made of lightning, shattered all remaining restraint. It shattered me from the inside out. I came hard and fast, trembling as he accelerated his rhythm, coming in quick hard bursts. I felt the pressure and throbbing of his cock fill me. I fought for air. His mouth covered mine and we tangled together. I rolled over, facing him, just as he thrust one last time inside me, spilling his release.

The sweat dripped from his chest, covering his gorgeous body. The rain slid along the window pane. The wind had died down some.

I looked in Caleb’s eyes, not sure how to describe what I had just experienced.

“I’ve never done that,” I whispered. It was the only thing I could think to say in the moment.

He kissed my chin and the tip of my nose. He was still nestled inside me firmly. I wondered if we could go back to sleep like this.

“I’m glad I got you to stay. It was fucking incredible, Margot.”

“Yes, fucking incredible. I’m glad I stayed too.” I giggled, feeling the lightness and the reason for staying returned. I was falling hard for him by the second. I wondered if he knew it.

Iwaited until the rain stopped. I waited until Caleb fell asleep. I touched one foot to the floor and then another, watching over my shoulder to ensure he wouldn’t notice when I placed my full weight on both feet. His breathing never changed, while I dressed and made my way to the door. I stepped outside, closed the door behind me, and searched for the exit off the base. It was ridiculous I was attempting to cross almost the entire island on foot without a great sense of which direction to take to land at the Blue Heron, but I was driven by something irrational and senseless.

I walked along the winding island road, following all the twists and turns until I recognized the milepost for the Blue Heron. I trudged up the gravel path to the lot.

The fisherman with the baseball cap was already on the pier, casting another line off the docks. I wasn’t going to let myself fall prey to the guilt of the morning after walk of shame. I still didn’t know that man’s name. But it was clear he noticed me sneaking through my own parking lot. I gave him a soft wave.

I heard the crunch of gravel behind me. I winced when I saw Dean’s car pull into the lot. It was as if he had an uncanny radar for when to show up at the worst possible time.

“Shit,” I whispered.

“Good morning?” He exited the car and walked toward me.

“Hi. What are you doing here?” I asked. If we had a scheduled meeting, I had completely forgotten about it.

He held up a paper bag. “Fresh biscuits from Reel Time.”

---