Page 45 of Until We Break

I swallowed hard enough it felt like my throat constrict. “Caleb, I…”

“You’re giving me shit for not calling you.”

I wriggled uncomfortably on the hull. “Yeah, well you said you would. And after that day with Lucas, I thought. Well, I had a reason to think you would.” I tried to sound stronger than I felt. I knew what was coming next.

He hung his head, digging a hole in the sand with his foot. “I need a fucking cigarette for this.” He popped up. “Ugh,” he groaned.

“You still smoke?”

“No,” he snapped. “Rescue swimmers cannot smoke.”

“Oh. Makes sense.” I pressed my lips together, waiting for him to make the next move, the next statement, at least the next sound.

“I want to know why you left and didn’t call me, Margot. That’s what I want to know.”

“It was a long time ago,” I whispered. “We were much younger. Kids.”

He huffed. “I don’t think we were that young. It didn’t feel that way when we were together. Is that how you felt? Too young to sneak into that abandoned beach house I found for us?”

The heat snaked its way up my neck. The memory was one I had held on to all these years.

“No. I was twenty-one.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I don’t know what to tell you that can make any of it better or different or change what happened.”

“How about some answers?” He pushed off the hull standing over me. “Tell me why you’ve been inside my head for seven years!”

I lost my breath.

“Caleb, I-I?—”

“Forget it. Let’s forget all of it. I’ll let it go. You let it go. Nothing happened then. Nothing happened after we saved Lucas. Just forget I said anything. I apologize for not calling you. I own up to that being shitty on my end. Okay? Don’t stay out here alone. I’m going.”

“No!” I shrieked, surprising myself at how desperately I needed him to stay and listen to me when only seconds ago I didn’t havethree words I could put together for him. “Please don’t go.” I ran toward him, circling his body in the sand, and planted myself in his path.

“It was a mistake. I thought I could play it off to get us through the kid’s accident and that night in the hospital, but I can’t. You’re going to leave. So just go, Margot. Just give me my island back.”

I covered his hand with mine. I needed to center him. Steady him. I needed to know he wouldn’t walk away on this beach. I took a deep breath. I felt the rough edges of his callouses brush over my knuckles. There was instant heat flowing between us, just like the first time we touched.

My eyes lifted to his I was amazed at how well we could see each other under the stars. I could make out the details of his face. The rigid outline of his jaw. The silhouette of his gorgeous lips. My heart pounded, but I didn’t want to give in to this. I didn’t want Caleb to pull me under again, just to let me go. All this time, he was fearful of the same thing. That I would rip his heart out and break it all over again.

“You think I’m leaving?” I whispered, knowing that’s what I led him to believe. Knowing I hadn’t made a decision yet.

“You could make a lot of money selling the Blue Heron. I don’t see why you wouldn’t. You don’t have stakes here. No family. Why would you stay?” His voice was low and gravelly. It was laced with pain. Pain I had caused.

“Do you think I should I stay?” I asked before realizing what I was proposing.

“You don’t want to ask me that.” Damn, his eyes were dark.

I nodded. “I do. Tell me what you want.”

His fingers threaded through mine.

“I can’t. You have to decide on your own.”

His fingers pressed into the recesses of my palm. Everything inside me stirred with want and need. The need to be touched by him again. To feel his arms wrap around me. To memorize the way his tongue danced with mine. I wanted all of it with Caleb, but without having to make a decision about the Blue Heron. I knew that wasn’t fair. I knew I was asking for more than any man would give me. But maybe tonight he would. Maybe he would forgive me for what I had done to him. To us.

“Do you want me to stay?” I whispered. “What do you want out of this?”

His hand cupped the side of my jaw. We collided together. No man had kissed me like this. Like he was going to consume me with every ounce of power in his body.

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