Page 37 of Until We Break

“Yes, sir.” I walked toward the door, feeling the check burn against my thigh. I wasn’t sure if it was a crime to have accepted the money, I only knew it was against every moral bone in my body. I wasn’t sure having dinner with Carrie and Lucas tomorrow night was any better.

EIGHTEEN

Margot

It didn’t matter how much I scrubbed I wasn’t going to be able to clean the sign at the boat ramp. It had been sprayed with fish blood and guts years ago and Uncle Walt had never tried to clean it. At least, that’s what I told myself whenever something was dingy, broken, or beyond repair at the Blue Heron.

It had been a few days since the boating accident. Caleb hadn’t called. I remembered how my mom used to tell me stories about when she dated, and guys always waited three days to call. That wasn’t a thing anymore.

I didn’t want to think the reason he didn’t come back was because he thought I deserved it. It was payback for everything I had done to him. Had I walked right into a trap? I’d fallen for it because I wanted to believe he could forgive me. I wanted it desperately.

I wiped the back of my neck. The sweat was beginning to run from my hairline down my back. The bucket of water and suds had turned black, but nothing on the sign and changed. I groaned, slamming the sponge into the mess.

“Hey! Hey! Are you an assistant or something? Can you help us?”

I spun around at the high-pitched voice. I didn’t expect to come eye-to-eye with three women my age, hauling jet skis behind a Jeep.

I tried to wipe my hands off on my jean shorts. “Hi. Yes, how can I help you?” I ignored the assistant question.

“We’re going out for the day. Where can we park?” She perched her sunglasses on the top of her head to speak to me.

I smiled. Customers. Paying customer. I wondered if they needed anything other than the boat ramp access to launch their jet skis. I walked toward them.

“Once you launch you can pull straight into the gravel lot over there.” I pointed to the designated trailer parking. I had made progress on pulling weeds and making it look like a spot people could park in. “You’ll be in the perfect spot to load your trailer when you’re done for the day.”

“Great. Thanks.” The blonde smiled and pulled forward.

I took a step back, watching the three friends laughing and changing the music on the radio station.

It was unconscious at first, but I didn’t mean to gawk and stare at them. It struck me that it had been a long time since I had spent any time with friends. Real friends. The kind of people who knew what kind of drink to order for me if I was late for dinner, or my favorite movie, even the name of the first guy I slept with. Where were those friends? When had I traded in my people for the ones in Ethan’s circle? When had I chosen to block off time for his group?

It didn’t help that the book had taken my days and nights. I had blocked off the next few months for the book tour and turned down dinner plans, weekend getaways, and anything people wanted to do with me I was already scheduled with something related to the book.

I didn’t have answers on why I changed my priorities the way I did. I only knew I had screwed up more than one thing when I dated Ethan and eventually moved in with him. It wasn’t only a roof over my head I lost, it was personal connections to a lot of people. The realization made me want to slide out of view, but instead, I waited for the blonde to back into the boat ramp with the double set of jet skis.

She was an expert at reverse driving. Within minutes, she had launched the two jet skis and her friends waited on the one good dock for her while she parked the Jeep.

I was always in awe of the people from Marshoak Island. It seemed like everything related to the water came naturally to them. Unfairly so.

“We’ll be back in a few hours. You’ll watch my Jeep?” she asked as she dropped a twenty-dollar bill in my hand. It was more than the cost of using the ramp, but I didn’t mention giving her any change.

“Of course.” I grinned. “I’ll be here. I promise it will be safe.”

“Cool. Thanks.” She ran toward her friends, hopping on the closest jet ski. Her friend had left the front seat open for her to drive. They screamed and hollered with laughter as they jetted out of the marina and the pair became less than a dot on the sound.

I looked back up at the splattered sign. I looked down at the sponge floating along the top of the bucket. I plunged my hand inside, thinking I could give it one more try.

Isat on the front steps with a glass of sweet tea. From here I could see the bright white background of the dock sign. A small smile crept across my lips. The sun was only slightly hedging toward the horizon. I had sweat in places I didn’t know existed. I knew about the Carolina humidity, but it was still shocking, a week after being here.

I looked up to see Dean driving into the marina parking lot.

“Hey.” He grinned, walking toward me.

“Hi.” I didn’t care what I looked like or that I was covered in grime. I had to remove my socks and shoes when they ended up soaked with soap and water. I was letting them dry in the sun.

“What have you been doing?” He neared the porch but kept a slight distance. I wanted to laugh. I must have looked and smelled worse than I realized.

“Trying to clean up around here,” I answered.

---