Page 4 of Until We Break

I led him onto the gravel drive of the Blue Heron. Caleb followed me up the stairs to the small stoop on the front of the house. He wasn’t big and bulky, but he was athletically toned. I noticed how the sleeves of his T-shirt stretched over his biceps.

“Nah. Training starts soon. I’ll be gone in a few weeks.”

Caleb seemed older. Not too old, just older than me. I tried to figure out our age difference by looking into his eyes. This was when I lost my balance. I wondered if this was normal to meet someone and feel affected so quickly. It was like a headrush. I wanted to ask him about the training, but he had a skilled way of redirecting me.

“What about you?”

I twisted my lips together. I debated whether to tell him I was a writer. I wanted to tell him about the book I had been working on all summer, but it felt too vulnerable an admission.

“I’m not sure,” I lied. Telling him more about myself didn’t feel right.

“No way.” He smiled. “Where do you go from here? You seem like the kind of girl who has it all figured out.”

I laughed. “It doesn’t feel that way.”

“If it doesn’t now, it will soon enough.”

We reached the steps.

I smiled quickly, but I didn’t move for the door. The key was hidden under the mat and even though Caleb felt safe it had been drilled into me that I couldn’t show him where the key was. Uncle Walt would kill me.

“So Dean Waters?” He kicked the toe of his boot on the brick step.

“What about him?” I carried a pit of resentment in my stomach toward Dean.

“Can I call you? Is that a problem?” he asked, and I felt the warmth seeping into my bones. “I don’t want to get in the middle of something.” The bitter pit dissolved almost instantly.

I nodded. “Yes. I mean no. No, it’s not a problem. We broke up at the beginning of the summer. You can call.” I wanted to blurt out that it was a stupid summer fling that never should have taken off in the first place.

“Good. Because I want to call you.”

There was an invisible pull. A current running between us. Maybe it was the kind of current that can only run between strangers. Shallows and depths that haven’t been touched or discovered rushed freely. Murky water. Clear crystal waves. All the seasons washed together. How were strangers supposed to know what the tides were like without wading in?

I turned to Caleb as his hand reached for my cheek. I thought his skin should be as cool as he was, but it wasn’t. It was warm, hot almost as he pressed his palm against my face. Was he nervous like I was?

I thought he was about to kiss me. I didn’t question whether it was too much too fast. I waited, wanting to know what this kiss would feel like. How did Caleb kiss? Would he take his time and memorize my lips the way I wanted him to?

“Your number?” he reminded me. But it was hard to move with his hand against my jaw. I wanted to stay there. Locked like that.

Right there everything was perfect. I couldn’t hurt him. He couldn’t hurt me. We could linger in that space where everything felt laced with magic and fate as if the Universe had stepped in and made our paths cross. It was the moment when regret didn’t live between us. I wanted it just a little longer. To hold it. Before I tipped. Before I fell. Before all I had left were memories.

TWO

Caleb

Istared into her eyes. Although, I had no clue what color they were when all we had was the low glow from a yellow lightbulb. But damn if that didn’t suddenly matter to me. I didn’t think the color of a girl’s eyes had ever mattered before tonight.

The pad of my thumb brushed against her lips. Her lashes fluttered for just a breath.

I had seen her at the party, hanging out in the corner, not talking to anyone. The party sucked. Most of the ones thrown by summer tourists did. All they wanted to do was get fucked up for a weekend or a week. It was the same story chapter after chapter. Book by book. One summer after the next.

I didn’t know why I stayed as long as I did. Gabe had convinced me he was going to show up, so I lit a cigarette and waited by the side of the house for him. That’s when I heard Dean Waters start his usual bullshit. I didn’t expect the girl from the party to be the one he was chasing through the yard.

I waited. I listened. It sounded like she knew how to handle him. I was impressed. The girl could hold her own. It didn’t mean I trusted Dean, though. He had a way of inserting himself into situations where he wasn’t welcome. His entire family was like that. They always had been.

If they saw something they wanted, they took it. No questions asked. It made me wonder if Dean thought she could end up another Waters family acquisition.

I didn’t know if that was why I put myself in the space between Margot and Dean or if it was because when I noticed her at the party, I hadn’t been able to unnotice her.

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