Page 48 of Until We Break

“Condom,” I whispered. Neither of us could wait any longer.

He stretched his arm toward the bedside table and opened the drawer. I looked inside, but it was empty.

“Oh, I have more in the top drawer of my dresser.”

“I don’t want to move,” I whined.

“I don’t want to either, but we need that condom.” He winked.

“I’ll get it,” I volunteered. I was reluctant to leave my position, but I was motivated. I wanted that damn condom. I felt his eyes on my eyes as I walked toward the dresser. I felt like the sex queen he claimed I was when my hips swayed back and forth.

“How many?” I toyed with the idea that we could have a sex marathon in the rain, in the storm, and hide out all day from everyone we knew.

I opened the drawer and heard Caleb’s protest. “No! I just remembered.”

I saw what was lying next to the stack of condoms. It was a check. I knew I shouldn’t look. It wasn’t mine. It certainly wasn’t my business. I didn’t listen to him or to the instinct shouting inside my head. I picked it up between my fingers and turned slowly.

“Is this Carrie? Lucas’s mom Carrie?” I felt such a jolt of pain. A betrayal I didn’t know I could feel.

Caleb was next to me. He pulled the check from my hand.

“Let me explain. I wanted to tell you about the check last night.”

I couldn’t see clearly. Tears had started forming. I choked on a sob I didn’t know was going to break free.

“Move,” I pushed him out of the way so I could fish for my clothes under the bed.

“Margot, it’s not that big a deal. Stop so we can talk about this.”

“Not that big a deal?” I gawked at him. “You’ve seen Carrie since the accident? You didn’t bother to tell me?”

He exhaled. He was jumping into clothes at the same rate I was, which was pretty damn fast.

“A lot happened last night. It didn’t come up. I was planning on it.”

My eyes whipped toward him. “Planning on it?” I pinched my lips together. “Your last apology was much better.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. I didn’t ask for this money. I didn’t want it.”

“But you have it,” I hissed. “You took a check from her for twenty thousand dollars? Who does that?”

He waved his hands as if it could erase what I had said. “She left. I didn’t have a way to give it back to her.” He raced around me, blocking my exit. “Stop. Let me explain. Talk through this with me.”

It was then I listened. I stopped trying to push past him. I stopped trying to shut him down. I stopped trying to take every word he said and twist it into something it wasn’t—something Caleb wasn’t.

I sighed. “I’m sorry. You deserve a chance to explain. You’re right.” The words stuck in the back of my throat. They were some of the hardest I had ever spoken. Admitting I was wrong and rash was something I’d never been able to do before.

He closed his eyes. I saw the relief wash over him and felt so much guilt and embarrassment for flying off the handle. But that’s what I did. I believed the worst, the absolute worst in people. I didn’t know if I could give him the chance he needed, but I was going to try.

TWENTY-SIX

Caleb

She was mad. Spitfire, take off my head, kick me in the groin, mad. I didn’t blame her. I couldn’t blame her. She found the check Carrie had written and I knew exactly what it looked like. It looked like I had accepted money for rescuing Lucas. I had to choose my words carefully. Everything between us hinged on how I explained.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have that check.”

Her bottom lip quivered. She was still trying to stop crying. I took her hand. Her touch was mixed with reluctance and warmth. I could feel that from her too.

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