Page 34 of Until We Break

I wasn’t there when she pulled Lucas away from the Sunfish, but I knew it was still bothering her. The adrenaline-fueled the rescue, but now the other part was about to set in—she had swum around the edges of mortality. Some people fought it off and never let themselves think about it again. Other swimmers dwelled on it. Margot was going to dwell. I just couldn’t let her sink.

SIXTEEN

Margot

“Didn’t you promise me breakfast?” I teased, leaning toward Caleb.

Now that Dean was gone, I wanted to forget he had ever interrupted us, but I knew we couldn’t just jump back to the moment when we were tearing each other’s clothes off. The interruption had caused us both to take a breath.

I tried to think of it as a necessary breath. A fresh take on reality. A space for both of us to cool down and think through what was happening between us. Again.

Wasn’t this how it had always been with him?

His smirk melted everything inside me. “I did throw out the breakfast plan, but I thought you were going to make it.”

I had purchased bacon, eggs, and a loaf of bread at the island grocery. It wasn’t a five-star breakfast, but I could make something out of that for us. Bacon was always a winner.

“Are you going to tell me that you and Dean never made up?” I opened the fridge and grabbed the ingredients I needed to get started.

This was good. We should talk more before sleeping together, I told myself. This was smart. There were a lot of years to cover between us.

“Dean and I haven’t been friends since high school,” he answered. “Nothing has changed.”

“Oh? What else has he done?”

Caleb exhaled. “Are you sure you want to get into all this?”

I took my time cracking eggs into a bowl. “Yes. I want to know.”

“I don’t have anything to hide about Dean. He was a dick in high school. He’s a dick now. His family still tries to run everything on the island. They raised the rent on my mom’s bookstore after you left. They tried to put her out of business.”

I stopped with a handful of cracked eggshells in my hand. “What? Why?”

He shook his head. “Because they could. She had to change locations. It’s okay now. Her new store is doing well, and she can actually afford it. But I swear if they could buy that building, they would.”

“I’m glad her shop is back open. It’s the only one on the island, right?”

“Yeah. You should check it out. By the Page near the Flying Devil.”

I smiled. “I’ll do that. I’d love to visit a bookstore while I’m here.”

I wondered if there was more to the story, but I didn’t want to spoil what we were mending. I needed to stay in this place. A place where I could block out Lucas’s lips starting to turn blue. When I didn’t think about how I could have let him drown. How I was such a fucking mess in that moment, that I was the last person on the entire island who should have been the one to save that little boy. No, I couldn’t let this good mood slip away. I had to hold onto it and stop talking about Dean. I started whisking the eggs in a bowl.

“Scrambled okay?”

“I’m not picky.”

I made breakfast for us and sat next to Caleb while we ate our bacon, eggs, and toast. It was then I felt the utter exhaustion seep into my bones. I could barely hold my fork with a bite of egg on it. I thought I was going to doze off and end up face down in my plate of eggs at any second.

Caleb noticed. “You know, you should probably get some sleep.”

I didn’t want it to be over. Whatever this was.

“No, I’m fine,” I lied. My eyes burned. I had slept some in the hospital, but it wasn’t by definition, a good sleep. I was sore in weird places in my back and neck.

“I’ll clean up the kitchen,” he volunteered. “Go. Get some sleep.”

“But—” I tried to think of how to protest his offer and my reluctance to let him leave.

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