Page 94 of Fast

I don’t even open my eyes, but I feel a wet, warm cloth cleaning between my legs.

Then the mattress dips and I’m sandwiched between them again. Chance and Lev are holding me tight, and it feels so right that it’s almost scary.

I know they expect me to choose eventually, but if anything, tonight confirmed that I can’t. What if that never changes?

My mind is as tired as my body, though. I know I’m not going to find the answer to that question tonight, so I succumb to the bone-deep tiredness that drags me under.

My last coherent thought is that the storm is still going strong outside, but I’m safe between my boyfriend and my stepbrother.

Chapter 21

The Weight Of The World

ARES

My uniform is ready for my night shift, but it’s early afternoon, and I have a few hours to kill before I have to get ready.

I debate if I should go home to check how Chance and Zara are doing while our parents are away.

In theory, I should have stayed at the house. Dad feels better if I’m there, just in case something happens. However, I’ve been on a string of night shifts, and last night I was grateful to be on desk duty.

The storm meant an increased volume of calls, and I feel for my colleagues who had to brave the elements to rescue a number of people who got stuck in their cars.

I take my phone out of my pocket, selecting my brother’s contact. I could text him and see if he and Zara are home, and pick up some lunch for all of us.

The truth is that I really want to see Zara. It might be hypocritical of me, but I fucking miss her.

Dad was adamant about his and Kelly’s expectations when it comes how Chance and I should treat our new stepsister. It’s not that simple, though.

By the looks of it, Chance has fallen in line with our father’s wishes; we’ve only crossed paths very briefly before and after work, and Chance has barely acknowledged Zara since our conversation with Dad the night of the wedding.

I’m a little worried about her. She’s totally new in town, and if Chance is ignoring her without any explanation, I don’t want her to think that she’s done something wrong.

The thought that maybe I should take a page from my little brother’s book and do what I was told crosses my mind.

But I don’t want to.

When Zara appeared back in our lives, it felt like a sign. I had been feeling lost, adrift in a sea of loss. Atlas always knew how to pull me out of my funks. He always knew what I needed because he was a part of me.

Seeing Zara again when I thought that I would never feel anything but that empty numbness that still managed to hurt like a bitch, felt like the answer to my prayers. Prayers that I didn’t think I had the right to even have.

It was like he sent her to me.

It still feels like that, whatever Dad might want.

Maybe the answer is that we should be friends. That would comply with Dad’s wishes, and would allow me to have her in my life, at least in some capacity.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my own thoughts. Who could it be? I have very few friends these days. It’s crazy how most of my friends wereour friends.And without him, hanging out with those people felt wrong. So I let pretty much every relationship become distant. Not being on social media accelerated the process tenfold.

Like I keep my distance from my former friends, I don’t really talk to anyone who lives in my same apartment complex. So when I look through the peephole, I genuinely don’t know who could be knocking on my door.

“Hey.” I’m surprised to see Zara standing outside with a Tupperware container in her hands. “What are you doing here?”

She gives me the container. “I felt like baking this morning, and as usual, I made way too much. I thought you’d like some chocolate chip cookies.”

She looks so fucking pretty in a pair of black Capri leggings, a mint green tank top, and a black Star Cove College hoodie. I can’t help but think that I fucking missed her, and that I was just thinking about signs. If this isn’t one, I don’t know what is. “Thank you. Chocolate chip cookies are my favorite.”

“Ares?” Zara smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Are you going to invite me in, or should I go?”

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