The worst thing about this shit show is that he isn’t totally wrong. What if things don’t work out between me and Zara? Dad is right that I have zero experience with romantic relationships. And if Zara chose Ares, would I be able to watch them together every day? However we look at it, we’re fucked, and we both know it.
Chapter 15
Letting You Go
ZARA
Do I stay in my pretty dress, or do I change?
I debate that with myself for a few minutes as I wait for Chance. Scott is still downstairs, so I have a little time to decide.
I mean, the dress will come off anyway, so I might as well change. I have just what I need to feel sexy tonight.
Sydney, my best friend at boarding school, gave me this sexy nighty for my birthday last year. It’s white and almost see through with pretty lace all over the bra part and it opens completely in the front. It’s innocent and sexy at the same time, and I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet.
It fits me perfectly, lifting my boobs in a provocative way, and it makes me feel seductive and playful.
I free my hair from the elaborate style Mom’s hairdresser created for the wedding and let it flow down my back in soft, natural waves.
The girl reflected in the mirror looks ready to rock her stepbrother’s world tonight. I stare at my reflection, psyching myself up to go through with this.
I’d be lying if I said that I’m not nervous, but I know Chance will take care of me. He, Ares, and Lev have been doing just that from the first time we met.
Maybe, though, I should tell him that this is my first time.
A shuddering breath escapes me at the thought that two years ago, I was gonna do it with Cal. I had followed him to Bridgeport with the intention of sleeping with him. Then I got cold feet. I had been convincing myself that I cared about Cal, but deep down, I knew that Mom was right about his “type.”
His dangerous, bad boy persona was what I had found attractive about him at first, but the more I hung out with him, the more I knew that he didn’t care about me. I was nothing but another notch on his belt, and he wasn’t willing to slow down and wait for me to feel ready. He put so much pressure on me to go all the way that it became a condition for our relationship to continue.
I almost went through with it for the sake of proving Mom wrong. I’m glad I didn’t though. Not because I have a romantic notion about this whole first time deal. But I want to do it because I feel a connection; not because if I don’t put out, I’m gonna get dumped.
Chance will be patient with me. If I changed my mind, he would respect my feelings and not demand something I’m not willing to give.
A soft knock on my door pulls me out of my own thoughts, and I fly to open the door to my stepbrother.
Every time I see him, I almost can’t believe how gorgeous he is. Tall and muscular, with his blond hair and intense blue eyes, he looks like a young 007 in his dark gray tuxedo.
“Hey, come in.” I move to the side to let him into my room, but he hesitates.
“I’m sorry it took me so long. Dad took forever to leave.” He grumbles.
His eyes are firmly fixed to the floor, and it’s impossible to miss the tension in his broad shoulders.
Maybe I’m not the only one who’s a little nervous.
“Is everything ok?” I ask, taking his huge hand to pull him away from the door.
“Define ok.” He sighs, as his gaze slowly drifts up the length of my body. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I keep my tone light. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”
Our fingers are still laced together, but Chance runs his other hand through his hair.
“It’s late, Zara. We’re all tired. I should go.”
Disappointment replaces the excitement of just a few moments ago, and I let go of his hand. I suddenly feel ridiculous in my revealing nighty. “Did you change your mind?” the words tumble out of my mouth before I can bite my tongue.
I’m not sure I really want to know.