Page 19 of Make Your Save

“Well, pick her up,” Carson instructs Rowan, looking at him then back to the baby as she starts to cry.

Rowan’s eyes widen. “You do it.”

“You have a baby in your house and you don’t even know how to pick her up?” Carson huffs, shaking his head at Rowan as he slides his hands under her, lifting her into the air before pulling her against his body. “You just have to make sure you support her head and her neck and then her bottom.” Carson scrunches his nose. “She almost smells as bad as you do.”

“Here, I can change her,” I tell Carson, offering to take the baby. Rowan is quiet as he observes the two of us, watching Carson slipping her into my arms. “Oh my gosh, she does stink!”

Carson waves his hand in front of his nose. “Okay, I think this is my cue to go home now.”

Rowan narrows his eyes at him, helping me with the changing pad we’ve been using for now. “I thought you were coming here to help.”

“You have Hadley.” He shrugs and my heart sinks at the sentiment. He has me here now...but that’s all going to change. “I think you’ll be just fine.”

Rowan looks at me and I smile, my chin lowering and lifting. “He’s right,” I tell him, ignoring the feeling swirling in the pit of my stomach. “We’re good. We’ve got this.”

As Carson says bye and heads to the door, Rowan stays, appearing awkward as he stands next to me while I sit on the couch. I glance up at him, watchinghis eyes widen as he sees the mess in Lucy’s diaper. “Do you want to help?”

His eyes widen further, if possible. “I don’t—I don’t know.” He pauses, a nervous laugh escaping him. “How can a tiny person have so much shit come out of them?”

“It’s a mystery none of us will ever know.”

I give Rowan grace and go about my business cleaning her up. We can start easier with the next diaper, presuming it’s just a pee diaper instead of poop. We’re going to have to take small, baby steps if I want him to be completely comfortable by the time I have to leave.

Rowan grabs a bowl of water and some washcloths and soap, offering his assistance as I clean her up, but he doesn’t dare to touch her. After I finish getting her dried and dressed, I lift her up, motioning for Rowan to sit down beside me.

“Can you hold her for me while I run to the bathroom?”

Fear passes through his eyes. His lips part and he abruptly closes them, anxiety encapsulating his expression. “Can’t you put her down?”

I stare at him for a moment. “Rowan. Your entire life might change tomorrow, so you’re going to have to be comfortable with her, and that starts with holding her.”

“I fucking know that, Hadley,” he says softly, his voice cracking. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’m afraid to hold her. I’m afraid to do anything because what if I do it wrong?”

My heart splinters, his words seeping into thecracks. “You don’t have to be afraid.,” I tell him, my voice tender as I reach to grab his hand. “I’ll show you how to do it.”

His eyes meet mine. “Okay.” He holds his hands out, reaching for the baby. “Tell me what to do.”

“Put your left hand under her head, but while also supporting her neck,” I instruct him, his hand radiating warmth as he slides it beneath my palm. “Put your other under her bottom and bring her close to your body.” He does as I say, his fear palpable. I show him how to transition her from his hands into being cradled in his arms.

His body is stiff, but she’s nestled in the crook of his elbow, staring up at him as she lifts her hands to her mouth. He relaxes the slightest bit, easing back against the couch as he settles with her against his body. He would never believe me if I told him, but he looks as natural as any new father does.

“You’re doing great, Rowan,” I tell him, my hand resting on his forearm for a moment before I give him a gentle squeeze. “I’m going to go get a bottle for her and then I’ll show you how to feed her and burp her.”

His mouth relaxes into a soft grin. “You’re really giving me a crash course here, aren’t you?”

My heart constricts again. “You have to learn one way or another, right?”

“Right,” he says, his voice trailing off, his eyes assessing me as if he knows there’s something I’m not telling him, but he doesn’t comment on it.

I spin on my heel to head into the bathroom before he changes his mind. Tonight isn’t the night to tell himI’m supposed to be leaving soon. These past twenty-four hours have put this poor man through a whirlwind of emotions. The last thing I want to do is make him feel like he’s going to be doing this by himself. He needs confidence, he needs to be comfortable with her before I tell him.

Tomorrow, we will know the truth about his future.

Tomorrow, we will know whether or not Lucy is his.

CHAPTER EIGHT

ROWAN

---