Page 7 of Make Your Play

“I will say, it’s been many, many years and I still remember how horrible those hormones were,” Nonna injects as she walks up to the two of us. “Riley, can I borrow your florist expertise fora moment?” Nonna looks at me with a knowing smile. “Surely, you won’t mind if I steal her away for a moment?”

“Absolutely not,” I tell her, nodding. “She’s all yours.”

I find my father waiting by the front door and I head out with him as we watch Lincoln, Nova, and Posey pulling out onto the street.

“I’m proud of you and your sister,” my father says as his hand clasps my shoulder. “Your mother would be just as proud of you both.”

Emotion wells in my throat and I turn to face him, knowing how hard it is for him to talk about her. She was his missing piece and something changed in him when we lost her. It’s been long enough now that he’s starting to get back to normal, but I know how heavily the loneliness weighs on him.

Riley suddenly walks out with Nonna, my father abruptly ending his conversation with me to talk to Riley. He pulls her in for a hug and Nonna walks with her to the car as he turns back to me.

“I really do hope Mom would be proud,” I tell him, my voice sticking in my throat as I pull him in for a hug. “Christmas always sucks without her.”

“It does,” he agrees, hugging me back before we break apart. “I think she would be at peace knowing we are all happy.”

I stare at my father for a moment. “Are you happy, though?”

A sad smile pulls on his lips and the emotion lingers in his eyes. “I’m learning how to be without her.” He lets out a breath. “I think I’m going to take that trip to Ireland that we always talked about.”

“By yourself?”

He nods. “I think so.” He pauses for a moment, like he’s choosing his words carefully. “I thought about asking Susan to come with me, but I think this is a trip I need to take alone. In honor of your mother and our love.”

He never dated after our mom died, but within the past few months, he’s been spending a lot of time with Susan. She was my mother’s best friend who lost her husband last year, and she found solace and comfort in our father. I think she’d agree that they’re a good fit for one another.

Ireland is somewhere my mother always wanted to visit, but she never got the chance to go.

“I just think Mom would be happy you’re going, whether it’s alone or with Susan.” I nod in understanding. “I get why you would want to go alone.”

“I think your date is waiting for you,” he says, abruptly changing the subject as his expression transforms into a happier one. This is what he typically does. When things get uncomfortable, he switches it up to cover up the pain.

I give him a sideways glare, narrowing my eyes. “She’s not my date.”

My father chuckles, shaking his head at me before giving me a devious look. “Right, I forgot.”

An exasperated sigh escapes me and I quickly say my farewells to him before stopping to hug Nonna. Riley’s waiting patiently in the car. She closes her phone as soon as I sit down and gives me a smile. It doesn’t quite reach her eyes and the feelings from earlier are still lingering in the air around us.

She doesn’t speak a word and I let the silence surround us as I head back to her house. As we pull up out front, she turns to look at me, the engine of the car humming from under the hood.

“Thanks for bringing me to your dad’s for the holiday,” she says with appreciation mixing with emotion in her eyes. “I wasn’t sure what I was going to do since I couldn’t go visit my family.”

This isn’t the first time Riley has been at any of our family functions, so I’m a little perplexed as to why she’s acting this emotional about it. Perhaps it’s just the pregnancy hormones. Iremember how Nova used to cry at the smallest things that made her sad or even happy while she was pregnant.

“Fuck,” she mutters, ducking her head as she hastily wipes a few tears away. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.”

“Hey,” I say softly, reaching for her. “Hey,” I say again as I slide my hand over hers and give it a soft squeeze. “It’s okay, Ry. We loved having you here. We always do.”

She lifts her head, blowing out a breath as she gives me a heartbreaking smile. “I know. I love being with you all.” She stares at me for a moment before her face crumbles again. Her shoulders jerk forward and she starts to full-on cry.

“Oh, no,” I murmur, brushing her hair away from her shoulder and pushing it down her back. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“Everything, Nash,” she whispers, the despair hanging heavily in her words as her body racks with another sob. “This is all such a mess and I don’t know what to do.”

Worry inundates me, and dread floods the pit of my stomach, weighing me down like a ton of bricks. My heart pounds erratically in my chest and I stare at the side of her face, desperate for her to look at me. “Let me help you, Riley. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. I’m here for you, and I promise it will be okay.”

I don’t know if the words I’m speaking are a fucking lie or not, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what else to say. The way she’s sitting in the passenger seat of my car, crying, has panic flooding through me.

She lets out a choked laugh and shakes her head as she smiles through her tears. “There’s nothing anyone can do, Nash. I’m fucked.”

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