Page 57 of Make Your Play

I glance at the time on the stove. It’s already six o’clock in the evening. I don’t know how the hell I lost so much time today. My body feels bogged down, almost like I’m coming down with the flu. That has to be it, but out of caution, I decide to dial the on-call number for the ob-gyn office.

A woman answers, taking my information before telling me that she’ll pass my details on to the doctor who is on call and they will give me a call back within the next twenty minutes. Anxiety builds in the pit of my stomach as I halt, standing in shock in my kitchen for a moment.

I’m only thirty-seven weeks. According to the doctors and the baby books, a baby could come at this point and be fine, but the longer they are in there, the better. I run my hand over my stomach again. He’s not ready to come out yet. Hell, I’m not sure I’m ready for him to come yet either.

My movements are slow, my head still aching, as I climb the stairs up to the nursery. It feels like I’m climbing a damn mountain with the way my legs feel like they’re weighing me down. I’m a bit panicked and not feeling well at all as I find the packed hospital bag sitting on the dresser. I open it up, looking through everything once again.

Everything is in there and ready to go. I run my hands over the newborn-sized outfit, my eyes landing on the small jerseyfrom Nash sitting next to it. I lift it up, flipping it over, as I see BABY with Nash’s number on it.

Tears spring to my eyes, but I quickly swallow back my emotion as my phone starts to vibrate in the pocket of my sweatpants. I pull it out, my heart pounding in my chest as I see it’s the on-call number. I answer it in a rush, quickly slipping into a conversation with the doctor that does not go where I wanted it to.

She wants me to come into the hospital, even if it’s just for them to check me out and send me home… but she also tells me to bring my hospital bag just in case.

Fear envelops me and I’m momentarily frozen as my heart kicks into overdrive. Dread rolls in the pit of my stomach and I shove the jersey into my bag before zipping it up and heading into my bedroom. I’m moving on autopilot, fueled by the adrenaline coursing through my body. I didn’t have a bag packed for myself, so I quickly grab a few things and toiletries and shove them into a duffle bag before heading down to the foyer.

The fucking car seat isn’t even in my car yet.

I’m not ready for this. I’m not prepared at all.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, controlling myself as I focus on my breathing, counting the inhales and exhales. I need to get it together here. Everything is going to be fine. I don’t need to call Nash and worry him or anyone else. I just need to get myself to the hospital, so they can check me out and send me home.

If only it were that simple…

***

“Did anyone come here with you?” The nurse, Hadley, questions me as she secures an admission band around my wrist. “I can go out and get someone to take them to your room.”

I shake my head, my mind paralyzed in fear and shock. “I came by myself.”

Her eyes widen. “You drove yourself here?”

Pulling the inside of my cheek between my teeth, I nod. “I thought I would be in and out of here.”

“I’m sorry,” she says softly, her hand reaching for mine as she gives me a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I wish we were able to, but I’m afraid we can’t, given the circumstances.”

When I arrived, my blood pressure was alarmingly high. So high the nurse immediately went in search of a doctor and they made the decision to admit me. It’s exactly what we were all hoping wouldn’t happen—severe preeclampsia. The headaches and distortion to my vision is caused by the swelling in my brain. It’s too risky and unsafe for them to send me home, especially with the reduced activity of the baby.

He’s being affected by this now too.

I will do whatever I have to, to keep him safe.

The doctor comes back into the room, her face grim as she walks over to the computer and pulls up my lab results. “The protein in your urine is alarmingly high.” She glances at me, realizing I’m not understanding. “It’s caused by the high blood pressure, and that combined with the results from your blood work, your kidneys are now being affected.”

The dread in the pit of my stomach feels like a bag of concrete.

“Given your neurological symptoms, we want to make sure you don’t end up having a seizure or a stroke. As soon as we get you into your room, we will start a few different medications. One will be to induce labor and another will be to prevent any seizures.”

My eyes widen and my voice cracks. “Induce labor?”

“Unfortunately, your condition is not good and delivery is the only treatment for preeclampsia. If we can keep you stabilized and the baby doesn’t go into distress, we are planning for a natural delivery. If any additional issues arise that threatenyou and the baby’s safety, we will have to take you in for an emergency C-section.”

All of this is extremely jarring, leaving nothing but fear inside of me. I know she’s only telling me so I’m well-informed, but Jesus Christ. When I first started having a headache the other day, I didn’t realize this is what it would lead to. I had no idea I would be sitting in the hospital with my life potentially on the line.

I would rather know all of this than be blindsided by it.

“Okay,” I tell her, putting on my brave face as I nod. “Whatever has to happen to keep him safe.”

In the back of my mind, I know they prioritize the health of the mother, but I can’t focus on that. I would rather have him alive and me not here than to have to live in this world without the precocious little life I grew inside my abdomen.

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