Page 25 of A Secret Baby By the Alpha

I held my tongue, biting back the urge to argue with his assertion and remind him that he had promised to think about Jenny’s well-being. Colson was a grown man who could make his own choices. The only thing I could do was be there for our daughter and manage her disappointment.

To his credit, he had been making an effort to be involved with Jenny since her discovery. Every moment he wasn’t busy with pack duties, he was spending time with her. From game nights to movies, cooking to taking walks, Colson had been proactive in coming up with activities they could do together. He had asked about every aspect of her life that he could think of and had even been trying to include me in their bonding moments. Every sign pointed to him wanting to make things right.

Except for the Dark Alphas.

He left without another word, heading for whatever the newest task was, while I cleaned up the kitchen and waited for Jenny to wake up. Although she was disappointed that her father had already left, Jenny cheered up considerably after a day spent doing some of our favorite activities. By nightfall, she seemed relaxed and peaceful as I tucked her into bed.

She had just fallen asleep when I heard the front door shut. I sprang to my feet and rushed out, ready to confront an attacker, but found Colson standing in the room and staring blankly at the wall.

“Hey,” I said quietly, my demeanor changing instantly now that I didn’t have to defend Jenny against an imaginary onslaught of attackers. “You’re back. Did everything go alright?”

“Huh?” Colson asked, his eyebrows pulled down in confusion as he shifted his attention away from the wall and toward me.

“I was just wondering if everything went okay,” I repeated, taking a step toward him. His eyes didn’t look the same as they normally did. Instead of warm chocolate, they appeared darker, almost black, as though all the light had been drained from them. Something had clearly gone wrong, but he didn’t appear to be harmed in any way.

“Went fine,” he said tersely. “I’m heading to bed.”

He shuffled off to his room, looking lost and distracted, and I heard the door close softly behind him. Thinking it best to keep my distance, I locked the door, did a quick sweep of the house, and went to lay down next to Jenny.

I was nearly asleep when a loud shout startled me. It sounded like it had come from Colson’s room, but I didn’t hear anything else to cause alarm.

I waited a minute to see if anything else would happen, and a moment later, another shout echoed throughout the house. I jumped out of bed and checked to make sure that Jenny hadn’t woken up. Seeing that she was still out cold, I made my way out of the room toward the end of the hallway where Colson’s bedroom was.

I crept inside in case an attacker was lying in wait, but all I saw was Colson. He was still in bed, tangled up in his sheets, sweat pouring profusely from his body. His face appeared pained, as if he were struggling with an unseen enemy, and his muscles were clenched.

“Colson,” I whispered, gently rubbing his arm. “Colson, it’s me.”

His eyes snapped open, and he lunged at me, pinning me to the bed beneath his body as he growled harshly. As before, his eyes weren’t the same as usual. They were cold and distant, and I realized that he wasn’t truly seeing me. Whatever he had experienced tonight had affected him, and his nightmare was causing him to confuse the past with his current reality.

My heart raced as I grappled with him, doing my best to keep myself safe while bringing him back to reality.

“You’re safe,” I assured him steadily as I held onto his shoulders. The muscles beneath my fingers were taut. I could practically feel the stress rolling off him. “It’s me. It’s Christa. You’re safe.”

“Chris?” he asked, shaking his head to rid the evil thoughts from his mind.

“Yes, it’s just me,” I repeated. “You’re at home in your bed. You’re safe. Everything’s okay, I’m right here.”

Colson took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes as I reached up and ran my fingers through his dark brown hair. His head fell forward onto my shoulder as his weight pressed down on me. His body seemed to melt into my embrace as I wrapped my arms around him. My assurances seemed meaningless as I saw that, for Colson, everything wasnotokay. I wished I knew what he had experienced so I could help him, but I didn’t want to pry.

I think you should ask,Cassia said gently.He’s struggling with something, and he needs to know that he doesn’t have to struggle alone.

“Everything isgoingto be okay,” I corrected quietly, murmuring into his ear. “Maybe it’ll help if you tell me about it.”

“It was bad,” he mumbled.

“The mission tonight?”

I felt him nod, nuzzling against my neck as he did.

“Tell me,” I offered.

Colson sighed again and rolled off me but remained close, propping himself up on one elbow next to me. His fingers trailed over my arm as he avoided my gaze.

“Most missions with the Dark Alphas involve violence,” he warned me. “I’ve gotten used to getting my hands dirty and fighting alongside them to protect the packs and claim territory. But since you arrived, I haven’t. Until tonight.”

“You hurt someone,” I surmised, careful to keep any note of accusation out of my voice.

“No, Chris,” he said, pain evident on his face. “I killed someone. I’m… wracked with guilt. Not just for this death, but for all of them. For every act of violence I’ve ever committed. I fell asleep tonight and was haunted by their faces. What have I become?”

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