Page 24 of Monster Mistake

Porn of a dude in a kangaroo suit, with his dick out, spanking someone in a panda suit.

Jesus Christ.

Riordan let out a low whistle. “That’s…weird. And sad. And embarrassing. Not necessarily in that order.”

Jake leapt off the couch, threw his hands in the air like a perp onBlue Bloods, eyes going comically wide when they landed on the two hulking monsters that’d just appeared out of nowhere in his living room. “Who the fuck are you?” he screeched. “Why are you in my house?”

Khill was still having trouble finding the right words. Hell,anywords if he was being honest with himself. So, he stopped trying. He stalked forward, grabbed Jake by the throat, lifted him a footoff the ground, and slammed him back against the wall. “Where thefuckis Justine?” he snarled.

Jake made an annoying gurgling noise.

“Uh, I don’t think he can talk with your hand that tight around his throat. Might want to let up a little,” Riordan pointed out.

Begrudgingly, Khill loosened his grip. But only by a little. He repeated his question.

The worthless little fucker’s eyes were the size of dinner plates. “I-I don’t k-k-now. She’s n-n-not here.”

Khill gave him another shove back against the wall. Not too hard. Just enough to crack the drywall a bit. He was displaying amazing control, in his opinion. “I can see that, you pathetic motherfucker. What did you do to her?”

He clawed at Khill’s hand and twisted in his grip, but couldn’t break free. It was a little surprising that he even tried. He was hopelessly outclassed in size, strength, sheer desperation, and rage. “It was only o-o-one time! I only cheated once!”

Riordan made a disgusted noise. “She’s so far out of your league it’s not even funny. You shouldn’t have even beenlookingat other women. What the fuck were you thinking, you glue sniffer?”

His wild gaze flew to Riordan. “I wasn’t, ok? I screwed up!”

Jake flinched when a frustrated growl tore its way out of Khill’s throat. “I don’t give a fuck about that. Where is shenow?”

“How would I know? I haven’t seen her since she threw soup on me and told me I didn’t know where her clit was!”

Riordan snickered. “Nice.”

Khill let out another growl, this one fueled by rage rather than frustration. “Do. Not. Talk. About. My. Wife’s. Clit,” he ground out, punctuating each word by slamming Jake back against the wall.

Then he had to shift back a little to avoid splatter from the urine that was now leaking down Jake’s leg. Why did that keep happening? Why was some pathetic weakling always trying to piss on him while he was asking them questions?

“Wife?” the pisser whispered, horrified. “She marriedyou?”

“You’re goddamned right she did! So, all the flowers and stupid songs about fate you sent her didn’t meanshit.”

That’s when the expression in his eyes shifted from terror to confusion. “Flowers? Songs? I-I don’t know w-what you’re talking about.”

“Liar!” Khill snarled.

Riordan cleared his throat. “I don’t think so, man,” he interrupted. “I used to reap souls, remember? The damned always try to lie there way out of hell. I can smell it a mile away. And this guy might be a sniveling little loser, but he’s not lying. Not about the flowers and songs, anyway.”

Khill looked Jake squarely in the eye again. “Youdidn’ttry to get her back with flowers and songs?”

He shook his head furiously. Well, tried to, anyway. But Khill’s grip was still too tight to allow for much movement, so it was more like he just kind of negatively vibrated there for a second or two.

“Did you even apologize to her?” Riordan asked.

More negative vibrating.

“What a useless little turd,” he muttered.

“Youreallydon’t know where she is now?” Khill asked again.

“No, sir,” the useless little turd wheezed out.

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