Page 5 of Monster Mistake

When his stunned face turned toward her, she heaved the bag of takeout at his head. And she’d pitched for her high school softball team, so the bag hit its mark with a satisfyingthunk. It was just a happy accident that the plastic container inside the bag popped open on impact, splattering chicken noodle soup down his naked chest.

The blonde, still pinned under Jake (and a pint of chicken noodle soup) turned her head to look at Justine, mouth open in quiet horror.

Justine didn’t pay any attention to her. Her beef wasn’t with the blonde. Theblondehadn’t agreed to not see other women while they were dating. That had been Jake.

She shook her head at him. “Last week you were talking about wanting to move in together.”

Thank God she’d shut that nonsense down. Imagine how she’d feel if she’d found him fucking someone else onherbed?

He didn’t even have the decency to pull his dick out of the blonde before saying, “Justine, baby, you know I love you. This is just sex.”

The blonde made a disgruntled noise that Justine took to mean he’d been feeding her similar bullshit. “It takes a lot of nerve to say you love me when you’re balls deep in another woman.”

Albeit notverydeep. Did she mention he had a tiny penis? Because he did.

He did pull out then. She was glad to see he was wearing a condom. He was a lying, cheating, scumbag, but at least he wasn’t arecklesslying, cheating, scumbag.

Behind him, the blonde crawled out of bed, grabbed her clothes, and started getting dressed. “I’m really sorry,” she said. “I had no idea he was…involved.”

Justine snorted. “He’s not. Not anymore, anyway. But don’t worry about it. He’s obviously a great liar. I don’t blame you.”

Jake made a move toward her, but she held up a hand to ward him off.

“I mean it, baby,” he said. “You know you’re it for me. Sometimes it’s just so hard to connect with you. I get scared you don’t love me as much as I love you. I’ve always been worried that you’re too good for me.”

Shame like she had never felt in her life flowed over Justine. She’d had sex with this man. Not very regularly or in a satisfying way, but still. This limp-dicked man child had been inside her and it had taken her by surprise that he was cheating on her. Hell, he’d probably been cheating on her all along, and she’d had no idea. He was standing here, dick still wet from another woman—another woman he’d also lied to and played—giving her cheap lines out of the cheater’s playbook, and she hadn’t left yet.

And the worst part? She’d always known Jake wasn’t The One. He wasn’t even her type. He was just…there. It was sheer laziness that had kept them together, and that was just gross.

Well, she couldn’t make up for her lost time and self-respect, but she could fixthat.

Grabbing a reusable grocery bag from the hall closet, she started gathering everything she’d left there, which, thankfully, wasn’t much. Box of tampons, bottle of shampoo and lotion, hair dryer, toothbrush, a couple pair of underwear and a few T-shirts…yep. That was about it.

Kind of sad when she thought about it. The entirety of their relationship fit in the confines of a small grocery sack. What the hell had she been thinking dating this loser?

But none of that was important anymore. So, clutching her grocery sack to her chest, she turned to address her ex-boyfriend, hopefully for the last time. “Jake, that might be the only thing you were absolutely 100% right about. I’mdefinitelytoo good for you.”

And with that, she spun on her heel to leave. The blonde beat her to the door, biting her thumbnail nervously. “Um…he drove me here. If you’re going downtown, can I catch a ride with you?”

Only in her life—or a rom com starring Katherine Heigel or some shit—would her ex-boyfriend’sex-sex partner, the one she caught him cheating with, ask for a ride home. “Sure,” she said on a humorless chuckle. “Why the fuck not?”

The grateful blonde, whose name was Gloria, Justine would later learn, hustled past her as Jake sputtered in naked, limp-dicked protest behind them. Leaving at that moment without saying another word would’ve been considered taking the high road. Itwould’vebeen very demure. Very mindful.

Too bad she only had a passing acquaintance with thedemure and mindful high road.

With one last withering glance in his direction, Justine said, “By the way, the clit is nowherenearwhere you seem to think it is.”

And onthatnote, she slammed the door behind her.

The drivewith Gloria took several unexpected turns. First of all, Gloria was a neighbor. She lived in the building across the street from Justine’s half duplex. They’d probably passed each other on the way to work or the corner coffee shop a thousand times and never noticed. (Especially since Justine made it a point to avoid eye contact with neighbors. Eye contact led to small talk, and small talk was abhorrent.)

Second of all, Gloria was beautiful, funny, and had a wickedly dark sense of humor. The fact that Jake had been able to pull a woman like her made Justine feel a little bit better about having fallen for his nice-guy bullshit.

It was probably because Gloria was such a delightful woman that Justine ended up suggesting they check out the Monster Match. But the fact that she was currently wearing her sluttiest little black dress with three tequila shots in her bloodstream? That was Gloria’s fault.

It was kind of surreal. She was on this property nearly every day and somehow it still surprised her how stunning the main house was.

The place was a gothic wet dream. With its ornate style, stone façade, soaring arches, and rich jewel-toned finishings, it looked like the kind of place where Dracula would seduce his next bride.

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