Page 31 of Savage Desire

Each letter is etched into the leather with bright golden ink. I frown, my eyebrows crinkling as I replay the letters in my mind. I haven’t just seen them before, I know them better than I know myself. I tuck my hands into my pockets, searching for the familiar bite of metal in my pocket.

Spinning it in my hand, I run my thumb over the Joker's face before turning it to see the back side, and my heart stills.

T. K. O. G.

The same initials, but what does it mean?

The bell chimes as I reach for the book, and Professor Sommers appears in the doorway a few seconds later, waving us out.

“Can I take this book with me?” I ask instinctively, glancing over my shoulder at her, and she shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, Polaris, no books can leave this room. Unfortunately, it's not me who makes the rules.” I nod in understanding as she eyes me intently. “What’s your concern with the book, Polaris?” she asks, and I shake my head, making sure to stuff my coin back in my pocket.

“Nothing in particular. I was just interested. That's all,” I say, forcing a smile on my face as I bypass her and exit the classroom along with everybody else.

Those four initials play on loop in my brain as I blindly head toward my next class. I’m getting more familiar with the campus now, but as I make my way through the halls, I can’t seem to focus on anything, my mind caught in the mystery of those initials.

I arrive at my next class, but everything is a blur as I take my seat. I don’t pay much attention to anything or anyone, not even Bryony when she leans over my desk, muttering something about looking for me. I manage an apology, or I hope I do, but I can’t be certain. After this morning, can I talk to her about it? She technically didn’t do anything, but considering the words Professor Juniper left me with… I’m torn.

Could I mention it to the wolves? To Wylder or Tatum? I don’t know. Lincoln made it clear he’s mad at me, and Tatum assured me there were things he knew but was unwilling to share in my room yesterday. Wylder could be an option, but today has already been chaotic with him. My thighs still ache from the last time we were close.

Asher? Minnie?

I don’t know.

They’re only a seat behind me right now, this class being a mixture of all quadrants, but I can’t bring myself to turn around. Maybe I need to figure this out alone. The only true trust I have is with myself.

The silence stretches around me, and I startle when the bell rings, drawing the class and the day of lessons to an end. I don’t hang around, bolting to my feet and rushing for the door without a backward glance. I run and I run until the witches’ dorm comes into view. My pace doesn’t slow until I’m in my room, breathless as I reach for the safety of my journal.

Falling to my knees, I feel the bite of the floor beneath me as I open up to the next available page and begin scrawling.

Dear Diary,

I finally came to terms with the fact that I'm a supernatural. A thing I didn't think was possible. Not that I was left to believe that much was possible at Florentines, but today, having read about other supernaturals, I know the truth.

Now there's no shaking it, no denying it.

On top of all that, I have some connection to something bigger than me. T. K. O. G.

I don't know what it means. I don't know if I want to know what it means, and I'm silently grateful that I couldn't bring the book from the room so I can bury my head in the sand for just a little longer.

I feel like I have a chance to find out who I truly am, but in doing so, I must find and understand a past that I have no recollection of and no connection to.

I didn't know who to tell or where to turn, and keeping it bottled up hurts my chest.

So here I am, spilling it all to you. Or to me.

Either way, I hope to take strength from this carnage that is my life eventually.

Speaking of carnage, Wylder made me mad today, and I threw sand at him. In return, he fucked me against the tiled wall in the bathroom. Did I just have hatesex? I don’t think so, he wouldn’t let go of me after. It was intense, and consuming, and I’m sure there will be bruises when I look, but… I think I liked it.

Here’s to surviving another day at Trinity Falls Academy.

Polaris x

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POLARIS

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