Page 1 of Savage Desire

1

POLARIS

My sigil is gone.

My virginity is gone.

My bangles are gone.

I am a witch.

Every inhale burns my lungs, my chest heaving with each pass as I try to calm the raging inferno cascading through my limbs. Panic claws at my insides, even though I’m in no danger, but the trauma has been triggered.

Bryony is behind me somewhere; a step, a mile, I don’t know. I shouldn’t be running from her when she helped me get back here unscathed, but it feels imprinted in me to put as much distance between myself and my embarrassment as possible. Right now, that includes her too.

My shins burn with every thundering step I take, letting the door to the witches’ dorm fall shut behind me as I race up the stairs, not faltering in my pace as I desperately chase the elusive desire for freedom.

Reaching the first floor, I move straight for the bathroom. My eyes dart around the tiled room when I feel no sense of relief at being alone. Stumbling into the first shower stall, the hingescreak as I lean back against it, blindly turning the lock in place to ensure myself the smallest hint of privacy.

My fingers splay across the surface behind me, willing the cool feeling of the metal to calm me, but it’s me that warms the door instead.

“Fuck.”

The curse is little more than a whisper as I tilt my head back, gulping down the emotion weighing on my throat. I squeeze my eyelids shut, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as my nostrils flare with every ragged breath.

Get it together, Polaris.

My sigil is gone.

My virginity is gone.

My bangles are gone.

I am a witch.

A whimper parts my lips, denying me the fake sense of control, and my head dips, my chin hitting my chest as it heaves with every sharp inhale.

Clenching my hands, I let the bite of my nails against my flesh force me back to the present, and I cling to the small break in the panic taking over me to attempt a deep, slow breath.

I inhale through my nose, unable to last any longer than the count of two before I exhale through my mouth. Determined, I try again, and again, and again, until I’m able to open my eyes and not see double from the delirium threatening to break me.

With my body still running on adrenaline, I inch forward and slam my hand against the shower controls, feeling the spray against my back a moment later. It’s chilling to the touch, but instead of shying away like I usually would, I step back into it, relishing the bite.

I don’t know how long I stand there, accepting the harsh burn from the frigid water, but I don’t move until my breathing has leveled out and I can think a little more clearly.

My sigil is gone.

My virginity is gone.

My bangles are gone.

I am definitely a witch.

Slumping down on the tiled floor, I lean my back against the wall, the spray slowly warming as it beats against my legs.

Water tracks down my cheeks; from the shower or my tears, I’m not sure.

I know in my heart it’s from me, but trying to pinpoint the reasoning behind it is proving difficult. Not when I have the same four sentences looping in my mind uncontrollably, and especially not when I have a bundle of emotions rippling through me. But something is rising to the forefront, shattering me from the inside out.

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