Page 19 of Luka

I don’t understand why my body reacted the way it did to his touch, but his cruelty was worse than any pain he could’ve inflicted.

It wasn’t enough for him to take his pleasure, to use me, humiliate me. No, he had to make me hate myself too.

When I hear him climbing up the ladder, I turn my face away. Suddenly, I’d rather die of thirst than to see him.

He walks around the bed into my line of sight to set a bottle of water, along with a plated sandwich, down on his dresser. I don’t turn my head away again, tempting as it is, but I don’t meet his eyes either, not even when he pulls my ruined panties from my mouth. I stare straight ahead, my tired jaw clamping shut.

“Ouch,” Tall says, the bed shifting as he sits. “And here I was thinking you’d be happy to see me.”

I don’t respond. I’m learning, maybe too slowly, that he and his friend are both full of jokes, and I’m at the butt end of them all.

“Aren’t you going to tell me what your favorite flavor of ice cream is?” My eyes shut as the back of his hand caresses up my arm. “How will I ever be able to empathize with you otherwise?”

“You’re a psychopath,” I say, although my voice is weak and broken. “You’re not capable of empathy.”

He chuckles, confirming my theory. When a tear leaks from my closed lid, he smears it with his thumb. I open my eyes just in time to watch his tongue swipe the liquid. It isn’t enough to see my pain. He has to taste it too.

“You’re a monster,” I whisper.

His head tilts. “I thought I was a psychopath?”

I close my eyes again and try not to cry, not to give him any more tears to drink, any sobs to hear as serenades.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will try again with Arseni. I will look for his weak spots, and I will find them because I am asurvivor. I’m not weak. I will not just wait for them to kill me. I will find a way back to Mario and continue with my new life. I will befine.

But tonight, with Tall… I will just have to endure it. Because there is no humanity with this man to search for, no hope for compassion. If I am a mouse and Arseni is a cat, then Tall is a mousetrap. He’s a soulless, mechanical device meant to kill. To think otherwise would be pathetic.

“Come on, Peach, don’t be so sad. I brought food, drink,company. I thought I’d undo your binds, let you have a shower. That sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

I don’t respond. Yes, it does. I needed water hours and hours ago, and my body feels grimy after sweating all day. It makes me think of Mario, if he’s washed away the day yet, if he found water long ago. I hope he’s okay. Even if I’m not.

But even though what Tall is offering sounds appealing, it’s soured by the knowledge ofwhyhe’s offering it. He wants me energized so I can be more fun for him sexually. He wants me clean for the same reason. It’s the last thing I want to give him.

“Peaches and Cream,” he sings, nudging my side as he drags out thecream.

My cheeks feel tighter as I sneer. “I told you my name. The least you could do is use it instead of mocking me.”

Tall’s half grin lowers as he studies me, like he’s debating on something. Punishing me? Will he spank me like Arseni did? Or are his punishments much worse?

Piper’s face flutters into my mind, the image of her purpling complexion and bulging eyes so startling that I flinch.

The two men said they would share me, but Tall has proven what happens when he gets angry. He could kill me with one hand, probablywilleventually once Arseni decides he’s also through with me.

When my eyes lower to his hand, I tense.

“I wasn’t paying attention when you told me your name before. Tell me it again.”

His voice sounds calm, and despite me searching for anger in his tone, I find none. Still, I don’t trust it.

“Lucia,” I say without attitude.

“Lucia,” he parrots, my name rolling off his tongue like a dirty word. “Would you like me to undo your bindings,Lucia?”

I stare at the ceiling as I nod.

Tall starts on my right wrist first, and as soon as it’s freed, I push my dress over my waist to shield the part of me no one except Tall has ever seen. When all my limbs are loose, I sit up on the bed, looking down at my flushed chest.

“Here.” He hands me both the plate and the water before sitting down on the edge of the bed.