Page 74 of Luka

When it’s our turn and we climb into our seats in a cart toward the back, our thighs press together. We buckle ourselves in and pull down the cranking bar before looking at each other while we wait for the workers to do their checks.

I think we’re going to pretend not to feel things, so I put on my teasing look and put something smart on my tongue, but I swallow it when I spot Luka’s eyes on my lips. I close my eyes as he kisses me, feeling the softness of his lips, the gentle way he strokes my tongue.

My heart gallops. I don’t even remember the roller coaster until it starts to move, but we don’t stop kissing even then. Luka’s hand smooths over my thigh and rests at the seam of my shorts while we slowly ascend.

He breaks the kiss and glances at where we are, then looks back at me with an urgency, like if he doesn’t say this now, he’ll never get another chance.

“When we leave here, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

I blink and just stare at him, my lips parted. It’s a moment before I understand he doesn’t mean an art gallery or an item on my bucket list.

He’s talking about life. He’s telling me he’ll take me anywhere, that I never have to go back to Vegas. Or Mexico. Or anywhere I don’t want to go. That he’ll set me on the path I wanted all along, as if I knew then what I truly wanted. What life could truly offer.

Him. In a moment, climbing a roller coaster, I know for certain it’s him that I want. Not roller coasters, not art museums, and not baseball games, unless he’s there.

“Will you come with me?” I ask as we approach the peak.

Luka’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t have a chance to respond. It doesn’t matter. I know by his expression what his answer is.

No.

And I can’t blame him. The thought is ridiculous.

I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Not about him, not aboutanyoneafter the betrayal I just faced. Maybe that’s all it is. He was there when I fell, setting the trap that happened to catch me.

He isn’t a good man. Objectively speaking. He is jealous and he is cruel, and I would spend my life trying to heal the sides of him that hate the world so deeply.

It’s a terrible idea. And one that could get him killed if we’re ever found.

He’s right.

And yet…

My mouth opens with a scream as we’re hurled down at a speed that makes my stomach lift to the clouds. I grip Luka’s arm tight and screech over his laughter as we lift back up, flipping upside down, and then again with another loop. When we get to the end, we lurch forward with a stop, then fly backward to repeat the process in reverse.

It’s terrifying, but exhilarating. Not unlike my experience with Luka.

My hair is a mess when the ride finally stops, and my hands feel shaky. Luka laughs at me, and when I turn his way, my lips lift.

We get off the ride and head toward the exit while I wonder what he’ll make me ride next, but he pulls me to the side by the gate and gives me that same serious look that sobers all my amusement.

“I fucked up, Peach,” he says, making my stomach fly to the clouds all over again. “I really fucked up.”

I swallow and nod, unable to do any more. I wish I could say that I forgive him because I do. I really do. Iseehim. I see theman that he is, and I know the why behind his cruelty, and I want him anyway.

“I want to be different,” he says, looking up while he thinks through his next words. “Youmakeme want to be different. But I’m not.” He shakes his head. “I’m so sorry, I’m just not… I’ve been thinking about what you said to me, about me hurting the people I love?—”

“I’m sorry I ever said that.” I squeeze his hands as I step closer.

He shakes his head. “No, you were right. I’ve been thinking about Arseni and about who he was when I met him… I brought him into the Bratva. I made him a killer.”

My lungs puff with an exhale. “Arseni isn’t nearly as innocent as you?—”

“I infected him, Lucia,” Luka says, his face sunken with such a plea for understanding that my shoulders fall. “Ican’tinfect you too.”

I open my mouth, ready to counter. Ready to tell him he already has, that he’s infected my heart and taken it as his own. That it’s too late now, and it’s cruel to claim otherwise.

But I realize something that makes me pause.

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