Page 71 of Luka

“No,” I say, my laughter dying. “She’s a hypocrite.Shewants to be happy. She wants me to make her look good.”

“She’s your mother.”

“She’s a cunt.” I look over when I catch my voice being too sharp, but Lucia doesn’t seem affected by it. She studies me with knitted eyebrows, and we both stay seated when the fans around us rise in an uproar of cheers.

“Maybe I would believe you…” Lucia starts, her voice too soft for the energy around us. I have to lean toward her to hear. “If you didn’t say that about everyone.”

“I don’t,” I say automatically. But when I try to list the people I care about, the list stops at two. Arseni… and now Lucia.

I’m falling for her, aren’t I? It feels obvious now, but it’s still difficult to admit. Ithurtsto admit.

Because I can’t have her. What I’ve done can’t be erased, but even if it could, her father is a fucking cartel drug lord. He wouldn’t hesitate to behead me just for looking at his daughter.

It’s impossible. It isn’t worth even considering.

I dismiss the idea and pull out my phone to check my messages. But of course, there’s only six missed calls from Mila. Nothing from Arseni.

I’m supposed to meet him in Vancouver two days from now, but I’m surprised he hasn’t reached out. Part of me is glad for it. The less communication he has with me, the better. At least until I’m convinced it’s safe.

The other part is worried. Because this is Arseni. He should be going out of his mind right now wondering if I found the girl. It’s odd that he hasn’t broken down and called me.

I pull up his contact and hit “call” before bringing the phone to my ear. It rings. Which means he didn’t heed my warning and ditch the cell, which isn’t horribly surprising. It also means he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere.

When the call goes to voicemail, I hang up and go to try again, but Lucia speaks before my finger hits the call button.

“I know you don’t want me to bring this up, but I just have to say it… I think you’re too hard on your family.”

I shoot a text to Arseni without giving Lucia a glance. “You’re right, I don’t want you to bring it up.”

Text so I know you’re okay.

“Look, I believe that your mother has issues. She’s cold, and she’s hurtful, and maybe she just altogether sucks… But I’m certain Vitaly invited us to dinner so he could get to know you. And I can tell Mila cares for you deeply. They had us in their home. They didn’t have to do that.”

I shake my head. “Just stop.”

“I watched you hug Leo while he cried. There wasn’t any disgust in your expression. Only pity. I know you care about him, and I definitely know you care about Arseni… You imitate your mother, but you aren’t her, Luka. Stop trying to be. You aren’t nearly as cold as you try to make yourself… You have to let people love you.”

“Enough, Lucia.” My voice is loud enough that I get at least one curious look from a fan.

Lucia falls quiet and concentrates on the game. The field changes twice before either of us speak again.

When my phone buzzes, I check it and am immediately relieved to see it’s a text from Arseni.

Why wouldn’t I be?

I squint at the screen.

“I’m sorry,” Lucia quietly says. Her voice is so soft, it drags my eyes to her. I sigh as I tuck my phone away.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready yet,” she adds.

Not ready yet. Like she’s just waiting around, waiting on me to realize something she can see with a twenty-minute preview of my family.

I’m surprised when I don’t feel anger or even annoyance. Instead, my chest feels heavy with something, and my eyes move to Lucia’s full lips.

When she turns my way, I kiss her, taking her cheek in my hand to bring her closer to me. She startles for a moment like she’s surprised, but then leans into me, her hands moving to my chest, her scent wafting into my nose.

When I pull back, I touch my nose to hers. “Thank you for caring about me.”

---