Page 60 of Luka

I was so desperate then. Iwantedhis kiss. I wanted his body pressed against me, shielding me. And maybe I’m so reminded of that time that I feel as if I’m back there because I want it again.

I kiss him back, moaning into his mouth as I wrap my legs around his thrusting hips. He lets go of my wrists to pull my shirt over my head then tosses it across the room. The smell lingers, but he no longer seems bothered by it. He removes my bra next, his eyes locking onto mine as he pulls the material over my head with swift, gentle tugs.

The way he looks at me, like I’m some sort of treasure, makes me blush. He surveys my breasts before lowering his eyes to stare between my legs. I think of telling him to stop. I feel like I should. Like this is wrong. But my lips don’t move, and my legs don’t close even when he stands from the bed to undress.

I want him.

The thought is so shameful that I have to look away as he steps from his boxers, but it’s true. I don’t even know why I want him. I just know Ishouldn’t.

It isn’t enough that he isn’t going to kill me anymore. It isn’t enough that he accidentally saved my life back at the bar. And it isn’t enough that he so thoroughly tricks my body into feeling pleasure.

I shouldn’twanthim. He makes me out to be a clown the same way he does everybody else. He’s a liar, a manipulator, a user. His own family isn’t immune to his sick mind.

“I’m not a fool,” I say as he lays down on top of me, situating himself between my legs. I’m not even sure if I mean to say the words aloud. I stay turned away from him, staring at the wall.

Luka takes my chin and turns me to face him. He kisses me on the lips before nudging me with his nose. “Okay.”

“Or maybe I am,” I say, emotion suddenly heavy in my voice as I jerk away. “But I’m not going to let you manipulate me like you do everyone else. I’ve already been betrayed too many times. Itcan’thappen again.”

“I’m not going to betray you. I’ll keep you safe for as long as I can.”

“You’relyingto me.” I swing back to him to glare. “I know you’re lying to me. You lie toeveryone.”

His shoulders fall as he sighs, exasperated. “How would you know? You hardly know me.”

“Your whole life is a lie, Luka,” I say, shifting out from beneath him and sitting up on the bed. He rubs the back of his neck while I pull the edge of the comforter to cover myself. “You were having sex with your brother’s girlfriend, and then you killed her and have his head spinning in circles about it. You lied to him about me, you lied to your sister about your involvement with me and God knows what else. And where is Arseni?” I ask, hugging the comforter to me. “Surly, he wants to get revenge for what I did to him. Where does he think I am? Whatliesdid you tell him?”

Luka’s eyes pinch shut as he shakes his head and holds out his hands. “I’m sorry, you’re upset because I won’t let Arseniget his revengeagainst you? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No. I’m saying you’re a liar, and I can’t trust you.”

He huffs. “So? Then don’t trust me.”

For reasons I can’t fathom, my heart falls at that. I turn away while a lump forms in my throat.

Luka sighs. The bed shifts with his weight when he scoots toward me. Seconds pass before he speaks. “Iwantyou to trust me.”

He’s so close but knows better than to touch me. I bite down on my lip and fight the urge to lean into him, to seek the false comfort he might give.

I want him.

Istillwant him.

I just don’t want to be an idiot.

“Then tell me the truth,” I whisper. I close my eyes and wait. I won’t say any more. If he doesn’t know what I mean, then this is hopeless.

A minute passes while he just sits there. I don’t know if he’s thinking or waiting for me to give into him.

Finally, he speaks.

“If you told Mila that I killed Piper and kidnapped you, I have no idea what the consequences for either of us would be, but I’m scared to find out. For myself, I’m afraid that she’d tell my brother and that it would devastate him. And even though I’m not particularly fond of the Bratva’s leadership, I’m afraid I’d be exiled. This is the only life I’ve ever known, and it’s the only place I can ever imagine myself having a shot at belonging, and I’m terrified of losing it…

“As for you, I really don’t know what she’d do. She might pity you, but it all depends on if she has any trace of loyalty to me after she learns what I’ve done. If she hates me, she could decideto hand us both over to your father. If she doesn’t, she might kill you and tell me to leave Vegas. Or she could just tell us both to leave and say we were never here, it’s really impossible to say. That is the truth.”

I wait until a moment’s pause to signal he’s finished before letting go of my lip and staring down at my hands. My shoulders ease with the breath I release.

I believe him. I don’t know if I should believe anybody right now, especially Luka, but I do. Everything he said makes sense.

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