Page 31 of Handy

I’m sure he wants me out of here, but a few minutes to rest my eyes couldn’t hurt.

Chapter 12

GRIFF

Mmmm. Warm. Cozy. Mylimbs are blissfully heavy and there’s a satisfied, relaxed feeling buzzing just under the surface of my near consciousness. I can sense morning light right on the other side of my heavy eyelids, but my alarm hasn’t gone off yet, so it can’t be too late. I squeeze my eyes closed a little tighter and bury my nose in the mass of soft hair that tickles my nostrils and smells like a day at the beach.

My half-asleep brain slowly starts to come online, like an old-ass computer that takes twenty minutes to warm up before you can use it, and I start to become aware of the sound of soft breathing that doesn’t belong to me, and the warm press of bare skin against mine.

There’s someone else in my bed.

Ledgeris in my bed.

A little part of me, the part that’s thoroughly enjoying this heavy, contented feeling of being all snuggled up and relaxed, suggests I just keep my eyes closed a little longer, enjoying the steady rise and fall of his back against my chest and the way ourbodies fit so nicely together. But there’s no stopping the slow but steady process of the rest of my brain humming to life, full of questions and nervousness.

Was I too needy or eager last night? Did Ledger stay because he wanted to, or did I fall asleep and keep him prisoner like he was my favorite teddy bear clutched to my chest? What does this mean? Does it change anything? Could he… could helikeme?

That last question fills my chest with an aching sense of hope that quickly turns to heart-thundering panic.

Ledger shifts in my arms, but instead of loosening my grip, I hang on to him tighter. He lets out a sleep-rough chuckle and then yawns and stretches, squirming against me but not doing anything to try to break free as he works out the tightness and kinks in his muscles.

“Fuck, I haven’t slept that hard in ages,” he groans, then yawns again. “What time is it? Oh hey, listen, there’s a mourning dove cooing close by. I love that sound first thing in the morning, it’s so peaceful.”

He squirms again and I force myself to relax my hold on him and peek one eye open. He doesn’t pull away though, instead he rolls to face me.

Feelings I wouldn’t be any good at naming even if I were fully awake and functioning flutter in my chest and belly as he shifts close again, his soft cock nestling against my thigh and a smile already playing on his lips like his first reaction to waking up is to be happy. Cannot relate.

I grunt, hoping it sounds like some semblance of a morning greeting.

“Last night was fun.” There’s a coy sweetness in his voice that wakes up that achy, needy feeling again. His eyelashes flutter and his smile twists into an even dirtier one. “You fucked me so good you made me drool. I’ve gotten there with toys on my own before, but no other guy has ever managed it.”

A primal, caveman kind of pride swells in my chest and I make a rumbling sort of growl sound in my throat. Ledger nuzzles into my beard and then sighs.

“I’m probably overstaying my welcome. Sorry for falling asleep last night, but it was kind of your fault for fucking me unconscious.” He laughs, running his hands over my chest and flexing his fingers like a cat kneading its favorite blanket.

With another sigh, he starts to roll away, easing the covers back and sitting up. I swallow around the heaviness in my throat and force my thoughts through the fog still lingering in my brain, managing to bark out one word.

“Coffee.”

Ledger’s legs are already over the side of the bed, the morning sun casting lines of brightness across his bare back as it peeks through the blinds. He looks at me over his shoulder and arches an eyebrow.

“Are you asking for coffee or inviting me to stay?”

I huff. He needs more words still? This is why I prefer to be alone. I’m terrible at all of this and I’m sure he’s having a dawning moment of horrified realization as I scowl in his general direction and sit up. Surprisingly, he just keeps smiling though, waiting on the edge of the bed, stark naked and perfectly relaxed, like he doesn’t mind at all if it takes me half the morning to get my body and brain synced up enough to form proper, complete sentences.

“Stay,” I manage after another minute.

Ledger bites his lip and nods.

Of course, as soon as he agrees to stay for coffee, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve lost my entire fucking mind. He’s going to expect morning-after banter, and I don’t even remember what that is. It’s been so long since the first time Riley woke up in my bed that I can’t even remember what we talked about. It’s possible he talked and I spent an hour glowering at my coffeeand grunting any time he paused for a breath. It’s obviously been even longer since there was anyone else.

This was a mistake. Not just asking him to hang around, but thinking there’s still even a sliver of a chance that the romantic part of my life isn’t long over. And whoever thinks they have some secret crush on me is even crazier than Ledger is, casting some kind of fantasy filter over me like I’m going to turn into Prince Charming in the end. I’m just the grumpy, not-so-charming Beast, and that’s how it’s going to stay.

I’m still brooding by the time we shuffle out of my bedroom, Ledger dressed in his clothes from last night and me in a pair of boxers and a fresh t-shirt.

“Why don’t you go sit out on the deck and I’ll start the coffee and bring it out when it’s ready?” he says.

I frown and glance past him towards the kitchen.

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