Page 66 of Jersey

Nolan stands from his spot, making his way toward the back door. The man will give his son anything he wants.

"Saves me from getting frostbite," I say as Eli rushes to place his breakfast dishes in the sink before running toward the back door, where Nolan is already holding out the child's winter coat.

The leash is scooped up next, Kiva already waiting at their feet with her tail wagging.

I almost regret letting Eli take over the dog duties because it leaves me standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by people with nothing to do.

"I made waffles, eggs, and bacon," Cora says, pointing toward the spread on the counter. "The eggs are scrambled, but I can fry some if you prefer."

"Thank you," I whisper, a lump forming in my throat. "Scrambled is perfect."

When was the last time someone cooked food with me in mind? I can't recall a single time in my adult life.

I fight emotions, telling myself she didn't do it specifically for me, that others were also involved, and it's exactly what it takes not to get overly emotional in front of people I barely know.

"Coffee is fresh also," Zeus says, his bright green eyes shining in my direction as he points to the coffee pot.

I try not to think about this man and the fact that he has seen me completely naked and strapped to a cross in the middle of a sex club while strangers ran their hands over my body. When I chance a look in his eyes, I find his locked onto mine rather than running the length of my body and imagining what he has already seen.

I make a plate and pour so much coffee into a mug that I nearly spill it on my way to the table, but I'm going to need so much caffeine today just to keep my eyes open.

As tired as I was yesterday evening, I spent the night tossing and turning, half wishing Roman would knock on my door and the other half worried that someone else might try to enter the room.

I'm halfway through my coffee and completely done with breakfast when the back door opens with a burst of frigid air.

Eli's smile is so wide it makes one form on my face. His cheeks are red from the blustery weather, and the tip of his nose is turning pink.

"She melted the snow with her pee!" the child yells, making everyone in the room chuckle. "And her poop—"

"Eli," Nolan warns, making the child freeze.

He looks at his dad, and I can see the doubt in his eyes, as if he's afraid that something bad will happen.

The child works through those thoughts, a look of relief coating his face when he realizes he's safe. It tells me there was a time when he wasn't, and that breaks my chest right open.

"We don't talk about bathroom stuff in mixed company," he tells his dad.

"That's right," Nolan tells him as he crouches down and unclips Kiva's leash. "She needs breakfast."

"I'm on it!" the little boy says, approaching me so he can grab her food and bowl. "One scoop or two for breakfast?"

"Just one," I tell him as he grabs the items.

"Andanother one in the evening," he says, recalling how much she got yesterday evening for dinner.

"That's right," I praise. "You're a natural dog caregiver."

Eli smiles up at his dad, and I grin when the man looks toward Aspen as if he's just proven a point.

My attention is pulled from the little family when Roman walks into the kitchen. The air leaves the room when his eyes land on mine. He glances from me to Zeus, who opted to sit right across from me, and I spot the slightest narrowing of his eyes before he moves his attention to the coffee pot.

He looks no more rested than I feel, and I find it impossible to pull my eyes from him. Once again, just like yesterday evening, the room grows silent, and I know everyone is waiting to see how we respond to each other. It feels very juvenile, as if it's something that would happen in high school. Like everyone is standing around watching so they can gossip about it when we're no longer around.

I stand as he backs away from the coffee pot, carrying my dishes to the sink. I give them a quick wash before turning back to face the room, spotting Roman's back as he leaves the kitchen.

I don't bother to meet anyone's eyes as I leave as well. He's halfway up the stairs before I can make it to the bottom of them.

I keep my eyes pinned to his back, turning down the opposite hallway of the room that was provided to me. I have no doubt I would've been the one to knock on his door last night if I knew which room was his.

---