Page 78 of Degrading Her

I didn’t say a word. Everything inside of me was empty, except when it came to power, and her. And that meant that I should have gotten rid of her years ago. Used the real Fiona as my sacrifice for the Feldman Offering.

Instead, I was here, questioning every decision I had made since I met her.

She stormed out of the Dairy Barn, disappearing intothe night. One of my men looked at me, non-verbally asking if I wanted him to make sure she stayed safe, and I nodded.

Blood stained my shoes, fleshy bits of white and red tissue flecking my gold cufflinks. I hadn’t even bothered to change into our usual attire, I had been so focused on getting rid of him. Determined to prove that I was still the leader I was supposed to be. To prove that Fiona didn’t control me.

Fiona.

“You okay, boss?” one of the new recruits said. I narrowed my focus on him, but my eyes were blurry, my pulse slowed.

I should have gone after her.

I should have let her go. Should have stopped following her like a fool.

The barn doors were still open, the breeze drifting in. I rubbed my hands over my face, smearing blood on my cheeks.

“Clean up,” I said, motioning to Roth. The men got to work, and Wilder jogged out of the doors, quickly hopping into his SUV. Maisie must have been calling. That meant that Fiona was with her, and safe.

But the truth was that Fiona was always safe when it came to everyone else. The only one who would hurt her here was me.

And what good had that done?

Outside, the crickets chirped, and my shoes shuffled in the grass, but as I stared at Wilder and Maisie’s house, the breeze drying the blood on my skin, I tried to be empathetic. To remember what it was like when I saw a person die for the first time. When my brother and father murdered my mother.

But even then, it didn’t seem real. Back then, all I had thought was that they could do the same to me, and I had to be ready. I had to be better than them. Had to control them in every way possible.

And that’s how it was with Fiona. She wasn’t my enemy. She wasn’t even my rival. But if there was one person in this world who could disarm me, it was her.

Forcing my steps forward, I headed back to the main house, where my father had once lived, a place that now housed some ranchers and hunters. It could have been mine; my father had even insisted on it. But I had distanced myself, knowing that even your own family could turn their back on you.

Fiona was more than family. She was everything. And what had I done to Fiona, if not turned my back on her? Forcing her to pull the trigger. Coercing those two words out of her, so that I finally won.

My feet sunk down in front of me. I headed toward one of the showers. Sprayed myself off. Roth’s flesh washed down the drain, and I thought about all the things I had done to make Fiona fall in love with me like I had been in love with her for so long. The good man I had pretended to be until it almost destroyed my legacy. And still, I had failed.

She didn’t love me. She never would.

This was how it was supposed to be. Fiona and I didn’t make sense. She was perfection, someone who believed in the world, and I was dominance. Power. Hunger. Greed. And in the end, a man like me didn’t deserve anything.

Not even her.

Chapter 19

Fiona

The front door swung open.Maisie’s eyes widened. “What the hell happened?”

I heaved a breath, trying to stop myself from hyperventilating. I couldn’t explain why I was crying. It irritated me. I had seen the videos he had shown me. I had been processing the encrypted video file for a while now, knowing that it was almost a guarantee that Sawyer was the killer in the video. I didn’t like that he was a murderer, an assassin for hire, but I could accept it.

But the look in Sawyer’s eyes? To see him for who he was. The lies. The manipulation. To see that he didn’t care about what I needed or wanted right then.

That’swhat killed me.

“Sawyer,” I whispered. It was the only word I could sob out. My sister threw her arms around me, taking me inside. She quickly called Wilder, whispering something to him, then stowed her phone. On the couch, she tucked a giant blanketaround me.

“What’s going on with Sawyer?” she asked. “Do I need to kick his ass?”

I choked out a laugh. Neither of us could take Sawyer. But then I stopped. Wilder had been there. He had brought the victim inside of the barn.

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